Amid the happy chatter and laughter, I don’t have any appetite. I try hard to hide my ambivalence and unease about Sophie’s big trip. In no time at all, my daughter will be gone. I know she will be fine in Shanghai with Tom close by, but I am not feeling fine about writing my book without her.
‘Ask Marlene to help you,’ Sophie says with a grin.
What a good idea. My sister-in-law is a former journalist and a fast typist. If I can dictate the rest of my story while she types, that will be even better. To be honest, this is the only way I could do it anyway. Having brought Sophie up as I did – talking, talking, talking from the minute she was diagnosed – it has become the only way I know how to communicate!
I look at Sophie’s excited face full of curiosity and adventure. How can I possibly believe that our deaf daughter is leaving us to forge her own path far away? It wasn’t so long ago that I was too fearful to dream I would one day be able to have a mother–daughter conversation. I sit here now, listening to her chatter, full of confidence about her future. A swell of love and adoration for her overcomes me. I know just how much she has endured already in her relatively young life.
At this moment, I feel so lucky that we have Sophie as our daughter. In an ironic way, her deafness has made her a stronger and more endearing person. Her deafness has taught me and our whole family so much humility and gratitude. She has made us better and more compassionate human beings. Her challenging but miraculous journey has enriched our lives. The reward and satisfaction we have gained, and are still gaining, from her achievements are far more meaningful to us than any of Li’s or my own achievements.
Of course we will always worry about Sophie and her struggles ahead, and we have no idea how tough her future challenges might be, but one thing we know for sure is that she will be fine. Her strength of character, resilience, generosity and maturity will get her through rough patches, and I’m sure there’ll be many. I’ll always be there for her, no matter what. But I know that she is her own person now and on her way to making her own exciting discoveries and living the life of her dreams.
I wonder if my father, Neil George, is looking down on us and remembering how he and Coralie sent me off to London all those years ago, knowing that his belief in me, his eternal ‘Hello, beautiful!’ and Mum’s quiet faith, too, allowed me the confidence to go out into the world and become the person I am. Is he watching me doing the same now for my daughter? Does he trust me putting that same faith in Sophie despite the challenges she will face?
I feel sure that he does, and I know the move to Shanghai is right for Sophie. Only an experience like this will teach her that she can navigate the world on her own. I look around at the rest of my family and feel blessed.
It is still dark when my phone buzzes on the bedside table. The birds are not yet singing. As I head downstairs, I realise that for the first time in my life it is not me boarding a flight halfway across the world to start a new chapter: it is my daughter. My brave, resilient, beautiful daughter is taking the next step in her own life’s journey. My heart is bursting with pride and tears are threatening to spill.
I turn to her proud father and we don’t need to say a word. We are just so thrilled that this journey to China is finally happening for Sophie. She is more than ready to go. It is 5 a.m. and we are all in the hallway to kiss her goodbye. She steps through the door. She is now on her own. Go well, my darling girl – the world awaits you. I love you more than you’ll ever know.
Li puts his arm around me and pulls me to him. As always, he knows just how I am feeling. I see tears in his eyes, but his words are nothing but positive.
‘Don’t worry, Mary,’ he says. ‘Remember we’re taking Queensland Ballet to China in eight months’ time. We’ll see Sophie then. Right now, though, let’s focus on what we have to do. And you, Mary . . . You have to finish your book!’
And that is what I did.
For Sophie.
As one of eight children, I grew up surrounded by babies. Here I am holding Paddy, baby number seven, in the yard of Little Kellow Street, Rockhampton, aged seven.
McKendry family collection
My parents Neil George and Coralie McKendry with all the children, and one more on the way. Clockwise, Neil George, Coralie, Gerry, me, Matt, Paddy, Brig, Mick, and Jo sitting on Coralie’s lap.
McKendry family collection
Modelling the first tutu I ever wore for a ballet competition, at age twelve.
Courtesy of Marise McConaghy
Preparing for my ballet concert in Rocky at the age of fourteen. In the mirror’s reflection from left to right is me, Debra Parker and Nina Veretennikova.
McKendry family collection
This is the audition photograph I sent to the Royal Ballet School as part of my application in 1974. My acceptance to RBS changed the course of my life.
McKendry family collection
In rehearsal with Nigel Burgoine at London Festival Ballet, 1980.
McKendry family collection
Together with Mum and Dad on one of their visits to me in London, just before they boarded the Orient Express.
McKendry family collection
Performing the Black Swan in 1982 was one of my most challenging but rewarding roles at London Festival Ballet.
Photograph by Anthony Crickmay
The fur coat my parents bought me kept me feeling snug – and glamorous – while on tour with London Festival Ballet.
McKendry family collection
A highlight of touring Australia in 1979 with London Festival Ballet was seeing my family.
McKendry family collection
Performing Giselle with Houston Ballet in 1986.
Photographer unknown
Giselle will always be a special ballet for Li and me – the ballet during which we fell in love.
Photographer unknown
After partnering each other on stage for some time, our relationship developed off-stage – and made quite a splash in ballet circles.
Photograph by Phyllis Hand
Li and I married in October 1987, in Houston. We held a modest reception at our new home in Euclid St – it was such a happy day.
Photograph by Wu Dazhen
Li’s beloved Niang and Dia lived with us in Houston soon after Sophie’s birth. We feel so blessed to have had that special time with them.
Photograph by Wu Dazhen
Family has always been at the heart of who we are. We have made many visits to Li’s family in China over the years. Here I am holding Sophie in the Li commune in 1990.
Li family collection
I returned to professional dancing six months after having Sophie, and we would often bring her in to the studio.
Photograph by Ira Strickstein
In 1990 I was invited by the Australian Ballet to dance in the Australian Gala at the Sydney Opera House. Li stepped in as my partner, and won the hearts of Australian audiences.