Soon the reality set in. He would get up at 5 a.m. to do a class at home using the staircase banister as a barre, then shower and have breakfast, get into his business suit and be in the ANZ Securities office by 8 a.m. At midday, he would go to the Australian Ballet to start rehearsal and often perform at night as well. His days were long and tiring, but he was motivated and inspired. Both Bryan and Ross were very accommodating and understanding.
And that is how our second year in Melbourne continued to unfold. By September, Tom turned four, and at that stage was into Pokémon, Power Rangers and dinosaurs. Li came up with the crazy idea of taking Tom to Qingdao. The Australian Ballet was planning a tour to China and Japan, and his idea was to leave Tom with his parents for two weeks while he performed in Beijing, Shanghai and Tokyo. He desperately wanted Tom to spend time with his family.
I was aghast. ‘No, Li!’ I said. ‘Tom is way too little for you to leave him with your parents for two weeks!’
As usual, Li saw a bigger picture. ‘Don’t be silly, Mary. My whole family will love him and he’ll be the centre of attention. They’ll spoil him. It will take him no time to settle in with his uncles and cousins.’
‘But he won’t understand the language,’ I argued.
‘That’s precisely why he should come with me, Mary. He’ll pick up some Chinese.’
Li was adamant. Despite my fears I eventually relented, because it was hopeless trying to change Li’s mind when he was so determined about something. And deep down I knew how important this was to him.
Before long they left for China and I tried to tell myself that Tom would be all right with Li’s family, but then I got the news that Li’s perfect plan had gone horribly wrong. ‘Mary, I can’t leave Tom in Qingdao. He won’t leave my side,’ he told me over the phone.
‘Bloody hell, Li. What did you think was going to happen? Didn’t I tell you this wasn’t a good idea?’
‘Darling, not to worry. It’s all arranged. I’ll take him with me to Beijing. The Bandit will help out. I will figure out the rest.’
With that, I hung up. I was so mad at Li, and so concerned for Tom. And there was more to come. On his first night in Beijing, Li was expected at a welcome banquet hosted by the Chinese Ministry of Culture. The plan was for him to drop Tom at the Bandit’s place beforehand. However, the plane was very delayed and, in desperation, Li ended up taking Tom with him to the banquet, walking into the grand reception room with Tom asleep in his arms.
Luckily, the host was none other than Ding Wei, the Chinese consul who had attended our wedding in Houston. Crisis averted! But after that, Li got sick and lost his voice. I wasn’t surprised, given what he’d had to deal with on that tour. I was anxious to have Tom back with me and we discussed the possibility of me flying to China to bring him home, but Li said, ‘No, you can’t leave Sophie. Don’t worry, I will manage.’
In the end, things worked out. Nicole Rhodes, one of the dancers on that tour, sustained a back injury and was being sent home to Melbourne. She said she’d be delighted to bring Tom with her. I was beyond grateful.
Soon we had Sophie’s first ballet concert to look forward to. Li came back early from a Sydney tour to see it. We both thought it was very important for all of us to be there. We did Sophie’s stage make-up at home and off we went.
The end-of-year concert was at a charming little theatre in nearby South Yarra. Everyone was there with their families – just as Coralie and Neil George had been at my first ballet concert a lifetime ago in Rocky. Tom was sitting on Li’s lap as we watched the preschoolers perform their dances. It felt like an eternity waiting for the seven- and eight-year-olds to come on. Finally Sophie appeared, looking divine in her tiny pink tutu and gazing happily out into the audience. We held our breath.
The music began and there she was, front and centre on the stage – like she was the star! I panicked and grabbed Li’s hand. ‘She won’t be able to watch anyone from there, Li,’ I whispered. But my God, she was right on the music. The toe-taps, jumps and quicksteps looked very sweet. She wasn’t only doing the steps, I could see that she had Li’s natural stage presence. I looked at Li and his teary eyes said it all. We were utterly blown away. The consistent repetition that was just part of ballet class had worked, together with Miss Anna’s kindness and patience.
After the performance, we went to congratulate Sophie backstage. ‘You were fantastic!’ Li told her, scooping her up into his arms. ‘Sophie, you were so good. Beautiful dancing!’ I added.
We were beaming – and so was she! All around us, other parents were happy and proud of their children too, but our shared pride was something else altogether. Moments like these kept us going. And this was a huge milestone.
It may sound odd that we wanted to put our deaf child into ballet, into the world of music and dance, but we felt it would give her a sense of control over her life, and with us both being dancers she had inherited our physical abilities. Of course, it was more challenging for her than a hearing child, but visually she was so strong that she was able to copy the movements demonstrated by the teacher. Even though the piano music would be massively distorted, the beat of feet on the floor would be like timpani to her. It was through ballet that we truly understood that Sophie was smart. We just had to find a way to release that intelligence so she could participate in our hearing world. Now her language had to catch up.
What a frantic eighteen months! So much had happened in our lives. What I didn’t know was that life was about to get even more hectic.
13
The new year brought fresh challenges. Although I was overwhelmed with Sophie and Tom, Li really wanted another child. I promised him that we’d think about it when he got a proper job. Once he became a stockbroker we decided the time was right. I was thirty-eight and knew it might not happen as easily. We yet again had to come to terms with the possibility of having another deaf child. The thought of putting in the effort I had put into Sophie all over again was truly daunting. I was also still hoping against hope that I could get back into the workforce at some point. Just like I’d been at the age of three, I was still uncontainable.
I fell pregnant rather quickly. Then I found I was extraordinarily happy about it and decided to put all my worries aside until after the baby was born. Li was over the moon, naturally, and Dom was thrilled for us, too. ‘I’ll be an uncle for the eleventh time, Mary!’
The kids were back at school in February, Melbourne’s hottest month. Getting them out the door was an ordeal. My first focus was always to make sure that Sophie’s hearing aids and FM were charged and ready to go. I would get Sophie up first and let Tom sleep a little longer. I came up with the idea of putting him to bed in his sports uniform, to save time in the morning.
They did look cute heading off on those sunny mornings. I just hoped it wouldn’t get too hot for them. I always worried that sweat would lead to ear infections for Sophie. My fears weren’t crazy – she did develop a really bad infection in her hearing-aid ear. The whole side of her face blew up and she couldn’t open her jaw. It was very scary. We had to leave the aid out for a while. In fact, I realised she was getting no benefit from it, so once she recovered, I didn’t make her put it back in.