I felt like I was complaining, but venting everything I'd been holding in was such a relief. "The other day, Ford was talking about his grandmother who died a few years ago, and it took us a good twenty minutes to realize she was my grandmother too, even though I have no clue what she looks like or whose mother she was. Neither my brother nor I had thought about my connection to the lady until I pointed it out. Plus, how confusing is it for people when I talk about my brothers? I could be talking about my blood brothers, or I could be talking about my brothers of the heart, the ones who lived beside me my entire life, sharing the same miserable existence while we plotted ways to escape."
Eli gave me a no-nonsense glance. "For the brother thing, the word is siblings. Learn it and embrace it. If you refer to Ford and Colt as your siblings, and the other guys as your brothers, it'll solve any confusion. Okay, now it's time for real talk. Here's the thing, Charlie. Your parents know nothing was your fault. Press your hands to your baby bump. How many times a day do you feel Gidget kick? How often do you imagine what her face is going to look like, or, as we witnessed earlier, how worried are you about whether you'll do things right with her? Now imagine getting to the end of your pregnancy, only to have the doctor tell you she died. You never got a chance to hold her, to see her face and imprint it on your heart, nothing. After carrying her under your heart for four months, she's gone. You find a way to move on, even going so far to risk another loss by getting pregnant again."
He had to stop for a second to grab a napkin, even passing one to me since we were both crying. Eli blew his nose like a foghorn before continuing. "Twenty years goes by. Then somehow, out of the blue, a grown-ass adult shows up and turns out to be your long-lost baby. Instead of being dead, you have a chance to hug Gidget and show her every drop of the love you've been holding in your heart for her. Now tell me, do you think Tina and Dave are worried about what you call them? Or whether you get their inside jokes? Sweetie, believe me when I say they don't give a darn about anything other than having a chance to love you. And now, you're even giving them a grandchild."
Wiping my eyes, I took a steadying breath before I attempted speech. "When you put it that way, I feel like an immature jerk. Now I want to run over to their house and smother them with hugs. By the goddess, I never considered it from their point of view. I was so busy feeling pressured by their immediate love and acceptance, when what I wanted at the time was to obsess over Lucian and enjoy being newly mated. It never occurred to me the amount of grief they must have felt or what a complete shock it was to find me alive and well."
"Don't get cocky. The jury is still out on how well you are. I mean, we still need to discuss the whole Gidget of it all. Are you seriously naming your child after an old Sandra Dee movie? What, are you picturing her growing up and hanging out at the beach with Moondoggie and The Big Kahuna?"
After I got done laughing, I wagged a finger in his general direction. "First, I'm absolutely naming her after the Sandra Dee movie because Gidget is not merely adorable but a good girl. Her actual name will be Francie, just like the character in the movie, but Gidget will be her nickname. Lucian approves, even after I made him watch the movies. And yes, I made him sit through every one of them."
Eli snorted so hard I'd swear I felt the blast of air. "No, honey. His behavior proves nothing except Lucian adores you, rightly so, and will do anything you ask. However, I forgot Gidget's actual name was Francie, which is cute, so I'll allow it. Even if I'm the only one who will probably ever use her full name."
"I hate you." I stuck my tongue out like a mature adult.
Naturally, Eli stuck his out in return. "No, you don't. I’m your bestie. So tell me, you feel better after getting your angst off your chest? You can always talk to me about anything, even if it feels silly at the time. And more importantly, you should be sharing these feelings with Lucian. Don't worry about weighing him down when he has a responsibility to the pack. We come first to our alphas, don't ever forget."
Shrugging, I started to lift my hands, then dropped them into my lap instead. "That's the thing, Eli. I didn't even realize this was festering inside. I've been so busy preparing for Gidget, and getting to know my family, and learning how to live with my other brothers gone while worrying about the ones I still have leaving and… I don't know. I guess I was pushing it down while I went about my life, and it came to a head. Aren't you glad you were here?"
I was being playful, but Eli smiled compassionately as he reached over to give my hand a squeeze. "I am glad. What are friends for? As for your brothers, I've got nothing because you have a unique situation. I guess be glad we live in an era of instant communication and video chatting, right? As much as you want to keep them all close, I know you wouldn't deny any of them the chance of finding the same happiness you found with Lucian."
"No, I really wouldn't. Okay, I'm going to go steal your baby back from Tom and give him a few kisses before you hit the road. If you want a few quiet moments to finish your tea, now's your chance." Eli laughed as I jumped up and left the room, but I noticed he didn't follow. I made a mental note to remember this moment and find my own chances to steal a few minutes of quiet when I had my own baby. And also? The next time I saw my parents, I was going to casually call them Mom and Dad.
Maybe if I didn't make a big deal out of it, we could make the name transition without it getting awkward. Then again, awkwardness was pretty much my thing. So… yeahhh. I was going to do it anyway. It was past time.
Two weeks later…
Tom finished polishing the wine glass he was holding before turning it upside down and sliding it into place. He gave the area a final look before nodding his approval. "Anything else, Charlie? I think these were the last item on the list, right?"
Rubbing my belly, I winced, shifting sideways on the stool when a sharp gas pain stabbed through my abdomen. "Yeah, we're only waiting for Darcy to finish stocking those brochures on the rack. Otherwise, the tasting room is good to go for tomorrow. Thank you both for helping me out today. I don't know what I would've done without you."
"No kidding, especially when you forgot to bring the checklist. We were lucky Raul noticed it on the table and brought it by." Most people would probably think a healer would be easygoing by nature. Not our Tom; he was as rigid as they came. I was pretty sure he had thrived in our old structure and routine.
Darcy looked over, rolling his eyes as we shared a grin. "Chill out, Tom. The list didn't have anything we couldn't have figured out with common sense. Serve wine with a smile and a clean glass. Done. Clean up after every group. Done. Restock everything at the end of the day. Done and done." Darcy laughed when Tom held his middle finger up, a gesture we'd all learned thanks to Colt.
"Hey, Charlie. I was mostly needling you. Darcy's right. We would've been fine without it. And by the way, quit thanking us because we were happy to help today. You didn't ask for the normal staff to get food poisoning because they shared bad tuna salad yesterday. With no one else available, why shouldn’t we pitch in? I get you are the Alpha Mate, and you felt like it was your job, but you're about to have a baby. There was no way we were leaving you on your own. Besides, it was nice to feel useful." This time, Tom's sweeter side came out as he spoke.