He’d meant it too. Sam was a man of his word. And while the threat was undercut by the fact that we were done anyway once Beck officially sunk her talons into him, I didn’t want to be the one to blame.
“Don’t worry,” I said to Alice, “I’m not going to do anything. And anyway, I haven’t done anything. None of that stuff was my fault. Trouble just seems to follow me. I’m not doing it on purpose.”
“Sure,” Alice said. “So then you’re actually really excited about the wedding?”
“Ecstatic.” The word dripped with sarcasm and it escaped my mouth before I could pull it back in.
“What’s so bad about Sam getting married?” Alice demanded. “He’s not dying.”
He might as well be. But I didn’t say that. I was tired of thinking and talking about this damn marriage. It dominated every aspect of the week and was starting to make me nauseous. I had to say something though, so I turned it back on her. “Well what about you?” I asked.
“What about me?” she replied, surprised.
“I’m sure you’re just dying for your best friend to get married to a billionaire. And I’m sure the others are too. Except maybe Jules. I doubt she gives a shit since she’s gunning for her own.”
Alice flushed. “What are you insinuating? That I can’t be happy for my friend?”
The tables were turned and I was much more comfortable this way. “I’m just saying, you’re awfully invested in making everything perfect. Any chance it’s atonement? Having some thoughts you’re guilty about?”
She crossed her arms. “Not at all.”
“Bullshit,” I pressed. “The last person you dated was that dick I punched. There’s no way you don’t compare the two of them, him and Sam. Ever wonder why Beck got Prince Charming while you’re stuck dating frogs?”
Alice looked like she could have punched me. “That’s got nothing to do with it!” she insisted. “I’m happy for Beck. Do I wish Daniel was as great as Sam? Sure. But that’s not exactly a revelation. Most girls would think the same.” She paused. “And not that it’s any of your business, but I’m not looking for anyone right now, anyway. I’m taking some time to be single.”
I snorted. “Oh yeah? And how’s that working for ya?” She shrugged and I laughed. “Sounds about right.”
“Well what about you?” she asked. “Do you really find a whole lot of satisfaction in what I assume is a lot of casual sex?”
“Yes,” I said honestly. “I fuck them to get off and I do. Mission accomplished.”
“So you don’t see the point at all in a normal relationship?”
I leaned forward in the sauna. The heat was ramping up as the minutes ticked by. The conversation and distracting arousal wasn’t helping either. “No, and I’ll tell you why. Because marriage doesn’t last. All of this,” I indicated the resort around us, “isn’t just a waste of money, but a waste of time. In five years or in ten, they’re going to hate each other and all of this shit is just going to be an unhappy memory. Because people change. Our minds change. Our likes and dislikes change. In seven years, those two aren’t even going to be the same people anymore. Who the hell knows what they’ll like, let alone if they’ll like each other.”
“They’ll grow and change together though,” Alice insisted. “And yeah, maybe it won’t work out, but love is a leap of faith, a blind commitment to doing your best for each other.”
“And when the years roll by and one is still trying while the other has moved on, what then?” I asked. “We outgrow each other. We find new people, new girlfriends, new friends. And the people that are stupid enough to cling to the past are the ones that get screwed.”
“You sound like a kid with divorced parents,” Alice said. “Am I right?”
I snorted. “Never were married in the first place. Mum left before I was old enough to miss her.”
Alice’s face dropped. She looked embarrassed. “Sorry,” she said.
I waved it off. “Don’t be,” I said gruffly. “Like I said. Never even knew her to miss her.”
“My parents were divorced,” she said. “I knew them both though.”
“Then I don’t understand how you can sit there and wax on about marriage,” I said, irritation growing in my voice. “You know firsthand it doesn’t work.”
“Yeah but my parents hated each other before they got married. They were never the picture of marital bliss.” She paused, then said decidedly, “I’m going to marry someone I actually love.”
“Good luck with that,” I said.
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
The steam room descended into stony silence. I watched Alice and she stared back at me. It was hard not to let my gaze drop to her tits. What I could see of them was distracting enough. But I couldn’t let Alice see that I found her toned body attractive. And as strong as the pull was to wonder just how soft and firm she’d feel as my hands roamed her body, I refused to allow it. What I did wonder was if she was thinking the same thing. Was she thinking about the muscles on my pecs, about the stretch of my shoulders? Or maybe a bit lower, to where my cock was now starting to twitch again.
To distract myself, I tried to think of a new angle, a probe to get a biting remark or a roll of those stunning brown eyes. I had to admit, she wasn’t a bore like most of the women I was attracted to. She could keep up and every cutting comment stung with a painful pleasure. Maybe if I said—
Wait a minute! This was all starting to sound dangerously close to attraction. Not just sexual attraction but that other kind, whatever devious spell that had been cast over Sam and Keegan. Hell no. That wasn’t going to happen to me. Alice could fuck right off and I’d be completely happy about it.
Suddenly I had the intense desire to be anywhere but here, alone and naked with this woman.
“I’m about done,” I said, standing. I went to the door and paused before leaving. “You better move fast if you’re going to follow me to dinner.”
I left before she could comment, her surprised eyes following me past the door.
I dressed as quickly as I could and went into the hall. Alice was still getting dressed but I left her. My brain was hot from the steam room, confused and annoyed by Alice and whatever she’d done to me. I needed distraction. I needed selfish sex with a woman I couldn’t give a damn about.
I started walking and passed another corridor. As if summoned by my brain, I saw a familiar face walking down it.
Margot, the blonde from the bar, turned at my presence. She didn’t look surprised at all to see me and shot me a sultry smile. She put her hand on the door to her own private steam room and then, as I watched, she loosened the tie of her bathrobe, letting it fall to the floor, leaving her completely naked in the empty hall.
She shot me a wink and then went in, closing the door with a snap behind her.
I looked over my shoulder. Alice was still changing. I went down the hall until I was at the door. Then I pulled at the handle. Locked. I knocked lightly, but no response came.
It was a continuation of whatever strange game the woman was playing with me. But I’d be happy to play it if it meant my apparently sex-starved brain would forget for just a little while about the auburn-haired beauty somewhere behind me.