“Fuck,” he groaned, dropping his forehead to mine as he came down from the rush. Then he twisted, rolling to his back and taking me with him.
I collapsed on his chest, struggling to regain my breath.
A lock of hair was in my face but my arms were too weak to push it away. I huffed a breath, trying to blow it free. When that didn’t work, Brody tucked it behind an ear for me.
“Should we talk about this?” he asked.
I shook my head. “No. We should sleep.”
Tomorrow there would be time to talk. Tonight, I only wanted to rest.
And not think about the fact that we might have just ruined everything.
“Oh my God.”
The words woke me from a dreamless sleep.
I sat up, remembering just in time that I was naked in Brody’s bedroom. I clutched the sheet to my chest and blinked the fog from my eyes. Then I squinted at my sister, who stood in the doorway to Brody’s bedroom.
“Clara?” My voice was groggy and my head fuzzy. I glanced at the clock on the nightstand, doing a double take at the time. Eight thirteen. When was the last time I’d slept past five?
“I was just looking for Brody.” Her eyes stayed fixed on the floor. “We always meet at eight. I didn’t see him in the office and the door was open so . . .”
Beside me, Brody stirred. “Bump it to nine.”
“Okay.” She spun around too fast, nearly colliding with the doorframe as she scurried down the hall.
I fell back onto a pillow. Brody’s was the most comfortable bed I’d slept on in my life. Maybe that was why my internal alarm clock had taken the day off, even though I couldn’t.
I was due at the flower shop to meet Marty when it opened at ten. It was taking some getting used to, not arriving at work before dawn. The hours would get longer as I learned more, but for the first week, I was easing into my new routine.
Today, he was introducing me to the bookkeeper who’d come on to do the accounting after Brody had purchased the shop. Then we were going to do a walk-through of the store and prioritize redecoration.
But first . . . there was a man in my bed.
Or I was in his.
“Now should we talk about this?” Brody asked. His eyes were still closed, and he was hugging his pillow. The sheet had fallen low, nearly to his ass, and the strong, wide plane of his back was on full display.
The responsible decision would be to discuss this and agree on how sex would or would not fit into our relationship.
“No.” I whipped the covers off and kicked my legs over the bed. Then I stood, hurrying to tug on my sweatshirt and pull on my leggings. “Later. I need to get ready for work.”
And I needed to think this through.
Without another word, I tucked my bedhead hair behind my ears and aimed my feet at the door.
“Aria.” Brody’s voice stopped me before I could disappear.
“Yeah?” I turned.
He’d sat up. His hair was mussed, his face sleepy. But his eyes were alert and commanding. “See you at dinner.”
I nodded, then ran.
By a miracle, I managed to avoid Ron when I walked through the kitchen but the smell of bacon told me he was close. Escaping to my side of the house, I thought I was home-free when my bedroom door came into view—until I walked in and found my sister sitting on the bed with a smirk on her pretty face.
My face flushed and I kicked the door closed behind me. “Don’t look at me like that.”
She raised an eyebrow. “Like what?”
“You’re all . . . smug.”
“I’m not smug.”
“Then you need a mirror.” I walked to the bed, plopping down beside her. Then I covered my face in my hands. “This is a disaster.”
She giggled. “Dramatic much?”
“I had sex with Brody.”
“Duh. You’re pregnant.”
“Last night, Clara.”
“I’ll repeat. Duh.”
I swatted at her as she laughed. “You’re not helping.”
“What do you want me to say? I love you. I love Brody. When you two are in the same room, the sexual tension is so thick I’ve nearly choked on it for the past ten years.”
“What?” I sat up. “Nu-uh.”
“Please.” She rolled her eyes. “It was only a matter of time before you realized you don’t really hate him the way you want to hate him.”
I frowned. “You’re a pain in my ass.”
“And you love me too. This could be a good thing. You’re having a baby.”
“Exactly!” I threw my hands in the air. “What if we try this and fail? What if we truly end up hating one another? I don’t want my child in the middle of that.”
“But what if it works? What if . . . what if you can give your child the life that I can never give August?”
My heart twisted. “Clara, you’re a good mom. The best.”
“And you will be too. Even if it doesn’t work, Brody is a good man. You can navigate this.”
I blew out a deep breath, leaning into her side. “I don’t know what I’m doing. With men. I haven’t had many in my life. And any guy I’ve slept with was a guy I dated. Brody was my first hookup.”
There were reasons why I was so selective when it came to lovers. Reasons why I was careful with who I let touch my body. Reasons I wouldn’t let myself think of today or talk about with Clara.
I wouldn’t drag her back to that place.
Four lovers. That was the extent of my experience. My first had been a man I’d dated in Vegas. He’d taken me on eight dates before I’d given him my virginity. I’d dumped him before date number nine because I’d been so mortified by my fears during sex.
As different boyfriends had come and gone, I’d worked through many of those fears, but they still lingered. It was difficult for me to give up control of my body. To surrender it to a man.
Until Brody.
Brody beat back the anxiety when it came to sex. There were no insecurities with him. He made it easy to relax and enjoy. Maybe because he oozed confidence and authority. Every touch was deliberate. Every caress solid. There was no fumbling, and in that surety, he made me feel safe.
Last night, and the night of the wedding, he’d given me everything I’d needed to shut out the noise and just . . . be.
“He’s not who I thought he was,” I whispered. Beneath the cement and glass exterior, there was a big, beating, beautiful heart. “What would you do?”
“Trust him,” she answered without hesitation. “Give him time. He’s learning too.”
Trust him. At least Brody had always been honest with me. There were no secrets. No lies.
I could trust him.
Clara and I sat together in silence until she had to go meet Brody for her meeting and I had to shower before going to the shop.
I drove the Cadillac into town, not ready yet to concede that the BMW Brody had bought was a really nice car. After a fun day with Marty, soaking in his wisdom and imparting some of my own, I returned home.
It hadn’t been easy to ignore thoughts of Brody at work, but I’d tried. When I walked in the house and his smell hit my nose, I knew with one breath I was in trouble.
So instead of meeting him for dinner like he’d expected, I stayed in my bedroom, watching the clock tick away until dinner. My stomach growled but I didn’t move. Cowardice was a different look for me and one I suspected wasn’t all that becoming.