Anger and humiliation crawled through Maryann.
The shock of it had frozen her, but she lifted her eyes beyond their shoulders to the ormolu clock. The ticking sounded inordinately loud.
It felt like interminable minutes passed before she heard the girl’s horrified gasp. And Maryann wondered if he had even removed his gaze from her. It was a matter of pride that she had not run away despite her revulsion. Finally, she lowered her gaze. The lady was young…perhaps even younger than Maryann, and she wasn’t a guest at the ball but a worker in the household. The young maid was frantically trying to dress herself, while the earl remained reposed on the sofa, his mien uncaring and amused.
It galled her unspeakably that he was amused.
He gave the young girl some coin, which she tucked between her breasts before bobbing a quick curtsy. She rushed past Maryann, uncaring that she jostled a lady in her bid to escape. Maryann felt like such a child standing there still, gripping the knob.
“You’ve interrupted my pleasure,” he said coolly, his gaze flickering over her dispassionately.
She stared at him, noting that he did not appear rumpled or undressed. He was even lazily drawing on a cheroot. This was the man who had offered for her. This was a man old enough to be her father…except he wasn’t anything like her papa.
“Do you often dally with those who might be too afraid to lose their position if they resist your charms?” she asked with chilling acerbity.
His brow arched, and he took a deep draw of his cheroot before saying, “I take my pleasure wherever I want, whenever I desire it.”
“Even if the lady is unwilling?”
His lips curved, and she was astonished at the sensuality in them and how much more handsome it made him. The earl did not look like a man to be two and fifty, with his lean, athletic physique and hair barely dotted with gray. “Oh, she was willing…they all are.” And you will be, too, remained unspoken but somehow filled the air between them.
Such raw emotions filled Maryann that it left her shaky and breathless.
Over the last four years, she had formed incredible friendships with several other ladies who had inappropriately been given the sobriquet of wallflowers as well, and all of whom had been cruelly informed either by society or their families that they weren’t “pretty, witty, wealthy, or well-connected enough” to take part in deciding their own fates. They must be used in bargains to bring gain to others and be happy about it.
When she had made her debut in society a few years ago, her hope had been to secure a husband to love. One who would love her just as much and proceed to build a large family together. Her other friends hungered to travel the world, learning other cultures, one of being a singer, another wanted to be a celebrated writer, another an inventor.
Such impossible and hopeless dreams.
Maryann had never before realized how improbable each of their successes actually would be to achieve.
A powerful agitation and dissatisfaction with life had urged Maryann to dare all of them to reach for those dreams, no matter the cost. Life was theirs to live only once, and it should count where it mattered the most—to their hearts and happiness. And damn everyone to hell who did not believe they deserved to reach for a contented life.
Yet when she lay awake at night in her bed, searching her heart for her dreams, all she found was emptiness and fright. Such terrible fear, for she no longer knew what she wanted and felt unmoored, a ship without an anchor drifting aimlessly on the wide-open sea.
She felt that very terror now, staring at the earl. Her family expected her to rest her future on this man and she of course should be grateful he would take a known wallflower to be his bride. Her heart pounded a furious rhythm. “There is a rumor you have a mistress,” she whispered.
Humor lit in his dark brown eyes. “You are well informed for a lady of your background. I like that. It shows an inquiring mind and that I was not wrong about you.”
She stared at him in muted shock, a desperate feeling of unreality creeping through her. It was a tidbit gleaned from a reluctant-to-gossip Crispin.
It felt naive of her, but she had to query, “I gather your dalliances, all of them, will cease once you are married?”
The earl’s amusement grew even more pronounced. That man even had the temerity to chuckle. “Of course not. You are pretty enough to tempt me from time to time…but not enough to satisfy my urges, I’m afraid,” he said. “I am a very base man, and I do not shy away from my carnal nature, nor will I apologize for it—to anyone.”
She struggled with the urge to be mindful of her tongue, recalling her promise to her brother.
The earl stood, sauntered over to a small table which held a decanter of amber liquid. The earl poured the drink into two glasses and lifted one to her in offering. “A drink, Lady Maryann?”
Her chest rose on a ragged breath, and she tightened her fingers on the doorknob she had not realized she still held. If he had possessed some shred of decency, she could possibly have married him and tried to chase her dreams by his side. But what had he to recommend him save he was an earl? A wealthy one?
There was nothing. Nothing in him she could respect or esteem. He was a swine.
Unable to hold her tongue any longer, she scathingly asked, “Why did you offer for me if you have no interest in respecting and cherishing the woman you marry? If you have never attended a wedding before, those are the vows. It does you no credit that you would make your wife…your countess a laughingstock, a woman to be pitied and whispered about in society’s drawing rooms with your salacious and unapologetic behavior! Not even servants may be saved from your lechery!”
He downed his drink in one go and set the glass on the table with a decisive clink. Then he strolled over to her, gripped her chin, and tilted her face to his. “I like intelligence in a woman. So many of you try to hide that behind bland smiles and insipid chatter.”
She tried to withdraw her chin from his grasp, and he tightened his fingers to the point of being painful. She stilled and he smiled.
“I overheard you a few months ago discussing a bill being debated in the commons with another friend. It was a rare thing seeing two ladies debating so spiritedly…and you shone brilliantly, your knowledge and insight alarmingly appealing. No one else was there to see it but I.”
He turned her face a bit to the side with his hand. “I am a gentleman ready to settle down with a wife, and at that moment I decided you would do. Our offspring will not be vapid buffoons but ladies and gentlemen with keen wit and shrewdness.”
As simply as that, her fate was decided as if she had no say in the matter. “Unfortunately, you will never do for me.”
She tried once again to remove her chin from his grasp, but he held firm, and his eyes flashed a warning that made her freeze.