“Oh, my God, Dean!”
“You look good!”
“Thank goodness you’re okay!”
I wouldn’t say I look good, but I did manage to find a clean shirt that didn’t smell like last week, and I finally made the effort to shave, leaving just a shadow of stubble along my jaw.
And I wouldn’t say I’m okay. But I’m here with a fake-as-fuck smile on my face, so I suppose it’s a step in the right direction.
As familiar faces and curious strangers crowd me with questions and compliments, I clench the spout of the beer in my hand, wondering if I could crack the glass with just my fist.
After all, my hands have broken far worse.
Mandy slides up behind me, snaking her arms around my midsection and holding tight. I feel her press kisses into the middle of my back, and I raise my unoccupied hand to pat her clasped palms. “Good party,” I mutter.
I’m lying. The party is awful and my head is pounding, and I feel like everything is spinning. There are people here I used to consider good friends that I haven’t given a single thought to over the course of the last seven weeks. Are they even my friends? Am I completely desensitized to human connection?
I turn to see Cora walk through the door with her friend, Lily, bathed in sparkly silver and skinny jeans, her hair glowing with fresh highlights and a look in her eyes that resembles a cornered animal. My heart does a funny flip inside my chest, and I know that I’m not completely desensitized.
Cora puts the brakes on after stepping through the threshold, grasping Lily’s hand and tugging the brunette backwards. The music is too loud to hear what they’re saying, but Lily scrubs her hand up and down over Cora’s arm, comforting her in some way. Likely telling her that it’s not so bad. It will be just fine.
She’s a liar, Cora. It’s a trap.
Mandy notices her sister’s arrival and unlinks her arms from my waist, making a tipsy, enthusiastic jog over to Cora, who still appears frozen and ashen in the entryway. I sip my beer, watching the scene from afar, taking in the way Mandy pulls Cora in for a hug like life is raining down with sunshine and puppy dogs.
Cora’s eyes meet mine over Mandy’s shoulder and I lower my beer, offering her a small, understanding smile. She sends the same one back to me. But before I’m able to approach her to say hello, I’m sucked into a conversation with one of my good friends, Reid. He slaps my shoulder, looking genuinely happy to see me, and we spend about fifteen minutes catching up—well, he catches me up. I’m certain Reid has no desire to hear what I’ve been up to since we last saw each other in October.
When I break away to grab another beer, I find Cora in the kitchen clinging to her red plastic cup, engaging in conversation with Lily and a familiar looking guy I presume to be Jason. I pull a fresh beer out of the cooler and glance in their direction, deciding that I was absolutely correct: I don’t like Jason.
He’s wearing a turtleneck for fuck’s sake.
And he keeps reaching out to touch her—her arm, her hand, her hip. He even pulled a piece of invisible lint out of her hair. Cora is all smiles and niceties as she nods at him, but I can see her grip on the cup is tightening and her knee keeps bobbing up and down. Lily is laughing at whatever bullshit he’s spouting off, and hey, I think Lily and Jason would be perfect for each other now that I think about it. Let’s make that happen.
I decide to insert myself into the conversation.
Cora’s eyes dance over to me, lighting up when I push my way into their little three-way circle. “Dean,” she greets, a big smile pulling at her perfect, cherry-stained lips.
“There you are,” Lily says, leaning in for a one-armed hug, while her other hand clutches her own beverage. “Cora said you’d probably be here. How are you?”
“I’m doing good. Things are getting better.” It’s easy to lie when it’s all you ever do. “What’s new with you?”
Lily chatters away about her job as a pharmacy technician, but my eyes keep darting over to Cora. Jason is playing on his cell phone as he nurses a beer, occasionally looking up to nod and smile. I’m only half listening to Lily when I decide to blurt out, “Cora’s not interested.”
Lily stops talking. Everybody stares at me.
Jason clears his throat, sucking down the rest of his beer and tossing the bottle into a nearby trash can. “If that was directed at me, I’m pretty sure the woman can speak for herself.”
“I’m sure she can, but as her soon-to-be brother-in-law, I have a responsibility to look out for her, and she’s in no way ready to jump back into the dating pool. So, it’s my strong recommendation that you take your flirtation elsewhere.”
Jason lets out a laugh that sounds anything but amused, while Lily tries to stifle her own laughter—hers definitely sounds amused, though.
Cora crosses her arms over her chest, glaring daggers at me. Her cheeks are flooding with color, her jaw tight. “What the hell, Dean? I’m standing right here.”
“I know.”
Jason turns to me, his hands planted on his hips. “Listen, man. I know you two went through some shit together, and I get that you’re looking out, but—”
“Some shit?” I repeat, twisting around to face him. This flippant motherfucker. “We were chained up like dogs for three goddamn weeks, kept alive with turkey sandwiches and well water, forced to do fucked up shit, while Cora—”
“Dean!” Cora interrupts.
Jason holds his hands up. “I’m not trying to downplay anything. I was just talking to the girl.”
Before I can get another word in, Cora snatches my hand and starts dragging me away from the kitchen. “Excuse us,” she says over her shoulder.
She pulls me into Mandy’s bedroom and slams the door shut, pressing her back up against it. “What. The. Hell.”
I let out a sigh, feeling a little regretful. Maybe those four beers hit me harder than I thought they would. “Sorry, I was just trying to protect you.”
She sets her cup down on Mandy’s dresser and takes a step closer to me, her eyes stony, her features taut. “You embarrassed me.”
“I wasn’t trying to.”
“Jason is a nice guy. He’s always been polite and respectful. Besides, my sex life is none of your damn business.”
“Sex life?” I arch an eyebrow as my insides spike with something that feels like jealousy. “You want to have sex with him?”
Her cheeks tinge brighter, her eyes floating away from mine. “Whether I do or I don’t, it doesn’t concern you.”
I swallow. “You looked uncomfortable. I was trying to help.”
“I don’t want your help, Dean. You don’t need to protect me anymore.” She releases a slow breath, tipping her gaze to the ceiling. “And maybe I was uncomfortable. Being here makes me uncomfortable. I’m still trying to get acclimated to people and noise and living again,” Cora explains, her tone strained with telltale emotion. “But I don’t need a babysitter. I just need to rip the band aid off.”
“You think of me as a babysitter?” I try to downplay the audacity in my voice by looking at my feet.
Cora is silent for a long time, prompting me to glance up. I find that her eyes are fixed on me. We hold for a beat before she replies, “I have no idea what you are to me.”