I smile down at my daughter, bobbing my head. “I think that’s a wonderful idea. She’ll love them. Make sure to grab some for Gram and Gramps, too.”
“Yes! Gram loves shells. We can make necklaces with them.”
She scurries away to join her brother in the sand, her auburn hair floating behind her and catching on a breeze.
I’m taken by the moment, lost in a daydream, as I study my two babies filling buckets with sand on the scattered beach towels. And then I feel his arms slide around my waist, his fingers dipping just slightly into my bikini bottoms. I melt into him, my back to his chest, his chin finding the crook of my shoulder. We stand like that for a long while, both soaking up the feel of each other, both reminiscing, both being fully present in the blissful moment.
I turn in his embrace, grazing my fingertips down his bare chest. The sight of him alone, shirtless and lean, all toned abs and broad shoulders, has me swooning as I teeter on both feet.
Dean ducks his head, planting a kiss onto mine. “You have that look in your eyes,” he whispers against my hair.
My arms snake around his midsection, clinging tight. “What look?”
“Like you’re falling in love with me all over again.”
I grin into his chest, pressing soft kisses to his sea-swept skin as his hands travel dangerously low on my hips.
He’s very familiar with that look.
Dean reaches for my hand and tugs me towards the water. “Ready?”
My heart dances inside my chest, my nerves tingling. I follow him to the edge of the sea, where sand touches water, and we slow our steps, gazing out at the roaring waves.
It’s November 8th.
Every year on this day we go to the ocean. I still recall our very first trip together one year after we made our relationship official. Dean was finally able to secure a job transfer back to his original union location after eleven, agonizing months of waiting and only seeing each other on the weekends. But the distance just made us stronger and more certain of our future.
Three weeks after moving in together, we hopped on a plane and headed out to Santa Monica, so I could finally dip my toes in the sea. It was an emotional moment, made that much more potent with Dean by my side. We ran into the waves, hand in hand, side by side, and I screamed when the cold water engulfed me.
And then I broke down.
I collapsed against his chest, overcome by the power of it, the beauty of it—the reality of finally conquering my lifelong fear. And as I sobbed in his arms, shaking from the cold and from the sheer intensity, Dean dipped down onto one knee and proposed. Right there in the middle of the ocean as I cried my heart out, tears mingling with seawater, and my skeletons washing away for good with the crest of each wave, disappearing to the ocean floor.
I jumped into his arms, my legs wrapping around his waist as I shouted yes over and over and over into his neck, holding onto him as the waves tried to take us down.
But we held tight, fighting each surge, standing strong like we always do.
Like we always will.
Dean and I both inhale a sharp breath as we stare out over the horizon at the setting sun. And then his knuckles graze against my own like a soft kiss, a knowing touch, a promise. I feel his fingers interlace with mine. We stand there, hand-in-hand, much like we did all those years ago as we awaited rescue, unsure of what our future held.
I glance at Dean, soaking up the smile lighting up his face as his eyes linger on mine. He squeezes my hand with his trademark wink. “Happy anniversary, Corabelle.”
“Happy anniversary,” I whisper back, the tears already threatening to spill.
I reach for my locket with my free hand, fisting the heart pendant between my fingers as my other hand clings to my husband.
And on the count of three, we rush into the ocean, tears mixing with laughter, love swelling higher than the tide, and we jump into the water.
Together.
The End
Author’s Note
Thank you so much for reading my dark romance novel, Still Beating!
This book was a HUGE labor of love, and it took me to a very emotional place. I put off writing this story for a long time, and I had even planned on publishing it under a pen name due to some of the taboo content in the beginning. I also anticipated it being nothing more than an erotic novella. Then I gave it a little heart, then a little more, and all of a sudden, this beautifully tragic love story began to unfold. I sent a few chapters off to my trusted beta readers and they begged for me to publish this under my own name. I’m so glad I did.
Cora and Dean wrote this story for me, and I hope you enjoyed the ride.
If you would like to chat about this book, feel free to check out the Still Beating Discussion Group on Facebook:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/1830681193755622
If you or anyone you know suffers from suicidal thoughts, please seek help.
You are wanted, and you are loved.
National Suicide Prevention Hotline: 1-800-273-8255
If you or anyone you know is a victim of rape or sexual assault, please reach out. You are not alone.
National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-4673
Remember Oliver Lynch? The man who escaped from his kidnapper after twenty-two years in captivity?
His story is coming!
Stay tuned for “Lotus” — a contemporary romance novel scheduled to release in 2021.
Playlist
Listen to the playlist HERE
“Hey Jude” — The Beatles
“Bag of Bones” — Silversun Pickups
“Shimmer” — Fuel
“Haunted” — Poe
“Angel” — Theory of a Deadman
“Change (In the House of Flies)” — Deftones
“Overfire” — Thc
“Carnival of Rust” — Poets of the Fall
“Lucky Now” — Ryan Adams
“The Otherside” — Red Sun Rising
“Starlight” — Muse
“Head Above Water” — Avril Lavigne
“Blind” — Lifehouse
“Hold Back the River” — James Bay
“Through Glass” — Stone Sour
“Blessed Be” — Spiritbox
“Especially Me” — Low
“Watch Over You” — Alter Bridge
“Breathing” — Lifehouse
“Hold” — Built For the Sea
Acknowledgements
First and foremost, my undying love and eternal gratitude must be given to my incredible husband, Jake. I assure you, this book would not exist if it weren’t for him. I basically crawled into a black hole of darkness for thirty-three days straight as I devoted full time hours to the completion of this book. I’m a mother of three, so my husband kicked into Super Dad mode and held down the fort while I brought this story to life.
Jake also deserves the biggest shoutout of all shoutouts for creating my book cover. Y’all.
Picture this: a living room cluttered with toys, a toddler pulling at our pant legs and demanding chicken nuggets, a camera on a tripod that almost got knocked over a dozen times by said hungry toddler, a wife complaining that her arm was going to fall off, and 938749324234 different takes as we tried to properly center and frame the photo with our arms chained together.