My head was starting to pound, and I was half-heartedly listening to a couple of the guys arguing over the Bentley or the Bugatti for their new cars (apparently, the Audi R8 was sooo last year). Rolling my eyes, I silently thanked god I had taken a taxi and not my not-so-trusty Subaru hatchback to the club. I didn’t have to search under the couch cushions anymore for coins to buy dinner, I didn’t have to cut the mould off the corner of the cheese and use the rest, I didn’t have to…
I shook my head at my wayward thoughts. I wasn’t that kid anymore and hadn’t been for a long time. But still, these people were from a different planet.
My mood had soured, and I certainly wasn’t great company, barely acknowledging anyone who spoke to me. I needed to head home before I behaved like an even bigger dick than I already had. Then there was a squeal, and Antony had his arms full of twink. Once the guy in a pink mesh shirt and black skinny jeans released his grip and slid down Antony, I realized it was the twink from my first visit to the club, unsurprisingly wearing pink again. I hadn’t seen him since that first night at the club, but he was easy to remember.
“Why didn’t you let me know Nicholas was back in town? You know I would have been here,” he whined to Antony with a playful slap to the arm.
Ohh, hell no.
“Fat lot of good that would have done you, sweetheart,” Ant told him. “He isn’t exactly the Daddy material you’re looking for. I think I’ve seen hyenas on the Discovery Channel more caring than Nicholas. Don’t get me wrong. He’s a good guy, but he is never going to be what you need. Keep looking, princess.”
The twink pouted dramatically, then turned, and when he saw me, he paused and smiled sweetly.
“I wasn’t sure I would see you here again. I should have made more of an effort to get back here.”
I glared at him, still picturing him fawning all over Nicholas. What the ever-loving fuck is wrong with me?
“No thanks. I’m not exactly a Daddy either. And isn’t it a school night for you?”
The smirk dropped from his face immediately, and he looked so fucking young and vulnerable I felt about two inches tall. He gave a tight smile and lowered his gaze.
“Excuse me,” he mumbled as he turned to leave.
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Anthony snarled at me. “Even if he wasn’t a paying member, he is still a decent fucking kid.”
“So many things I wouldn’t know where to start,” I answered honestly. I walked quickly in the direction the guy had gone but couldn’t see him.
Fuckity fuck.
Well, I certainly wasn’t going to head back to the group after that, so I guessed it was time to head home. I grabbed my jacket at the door and headed outside.
The wind was like ice, but I decided to walk away from the front of the club while I waited for a taxi, chastising myself for treating someone like that. The last thing I wanted was a conversation with Antony or anyone else right now. I would apologize the next day. I turned the corner towards a bar I was familiar with and knew was a regular taxi pick up point, then glanced at the bus stop across the road. Empty except for one small lonely-looking figure hugging his knees. His arms were bare, with his mesh shirt offering no protection from the biting wind. I crossed the road towards him and stopped a few feet away.
“I’m sorry. I know that doesn’t cut it. I know that you didn’t deserve the way I spoke to you back there. And I don’t expect you to forgive me. But I am sorry.”
He still hadn’t looked up at me. “Don’t worry about it. No big deal,” he mumbled.
I sighed and sat down. “Yeah, it was a big deal. I was a dick. A big dick. Like porn star-sized dick.”
At least that had the desired effect, and I was rewarded with a small twitch of the corners of his lips. “Yeah, you really were.”
When he shivered and rubbed his arms, I didn’t bother saying anything because he would refuse. I simply took my jacket off and wrapped it around his shoulders, leaning back on the bus stop bench. “I’m Ky.”
“Pete.”
After a pause with neither of us speaking, I continued. “I really am sorry about tonight. I’m not that guy usually. I don’t know what got into me.”
He looks at me for a moment and then lowered his eyes again.
“It’s fine, I know I don’t belong there, and I know I can be a bit much sometimes. My ex used to say I was like the Energizer bunny. All right for a bit of fun, but then you really just want to find the off switch. If I stepped in the middle of something, I apologise. I’m usually completely fucking clueless, but I didn’t mean to do anything wrong.” The dejection in his voice gutted me. I had made him feel like that.
“You didn’t do anything wrong back there, and your ex sounds like an even bigger dick than me. Don’t just accept someone treating you badly. You deserve better than that. Okay, I’m going to freeze my nipples off if we stay here any longer. Which direction are you heading? I’m catching a taxi west.”
Pete shook his head. “South for me. I’m going to catch a train—I just sat down to catch my breath for a minute.”
Pete moved to shrug my jacket off, but I stopped him with a hand on his arm. “Please keep it on. I’ll be home soon, and I’m fine. Just leave it with Ant next time you are at the club. No big deal. Seriously.”
He nodded with a small smile, and after a kind of awkward goodbye, I headed home. However bad my hangover was in the morning, it would still be less than I deserved.
I laid my head on my arms on the kitchen table after lunch the next day and groaned. Mum continued talking at a hundred kilometres an hour about the two guys she wanted to set me up with. I should’ve told her to stop, but after working over eighty hours that week, fitting in some case work around our scheduled training, and then making a fool of myself at The Subway Station last night, I was glad the conversation didn’t require my input. When she moved on to a pro/con list idea, I was glad I didn’t have to contribute at all. The other chair scraped across the floor, and Tim sat down, throwing an apple from hand to hand.
Thank God for Tim. I nodded towards Mum with a look demanding he stop her.
Tim winked at me before opening his mouth to rein in his wayward wife. “They sound great, sweetheart. Why don’t you set both of them up with Ky? The only thing that could be better than a blind date your mother sets you up on could be two blind dates.”
My head popped up, and I glared at the traitor.
“I said I would let your mother loose if you didn’t take matters into your own hands,” Tim said with a smirk.
“Mum, Tim ate the last of the macarons.”
“What!” she practically screamed, frantically searching the pantry. “They were Zumbo macarons! You bastard. That’s it! You’re sleeping on the lounge tonight!”
My head dropped back to my arm with satisfaction, but I grumbled, too tired to even enjoy his pain. No matter how much he threw me under the bus, I loved Tim. And Mum. I had seen enough families in my job to know some kids grew up without parents, and some others had parents who made them wish they didn’t have any. I had doubted whether we could afford to eat that night; I had doubted if I would get home safely; I had doubted if I would ever be good enough to deserve her love. But I had never once doubted I was loved. Even when she was working ridiculous hours, even when she dragged me from job to job because she couldn’t afford childcare, she always made sure I knew I was loved. And I loved her just as fiercely. I would do anything to look after her. I did do anything.