“I dinna want ye to leave,” she admitted. “I’m afraid somethin’ bad will happen and ye willna return.” Courage filled her to be so bold as to say this to him directly. But she needed to mention it because she wanted him to know that she didn’t ever want to lose the man she loved.
“I have a duty to my clan and country,” he reminded her. “I have to go. But I promise ye, I will return. So dinna fash yerself about it. The battle should be fast and easy. Our spy, Eideard, told us there are no’ more than a dozen Englishmen who have crossed the border. But they are tryin’ to start trouble and need to be stopped. My brathair, Angus, and I will take a dozen of our best men with us to do the job. We’ll be able to stop the Sassenachs in their tracks and return quickly. So, ye see, ye need no’ worry.”
Telling Mari not to worry was like telling a bird not to sing. She knew she worried about even the littlest things, but it was in her nature to do so. Ever since the day her mother died when she was just a girl, she’d learned to take nothing for granted. Her mother’s illness was supposedly nothing to worry about either, but it ended up taking her life in the end. Since that day, Mari always worried.
Duncan bent over and kissed her lightly on the nose. A tear formed in her eye. Then he placed his hands on her shoulders and his gaze became intent, his face solemn. “Mari, my love,” he said and cleared his throat before he continued. “Even though I have no concerns about my safety, sometimes things dinna always go as planned.”
Her body tensed. “What do ye mean by that?” If Duncan was saying this, there might be something he wasn’t telling her. This mission could be more dangerous than he was letting on.
“I mean, we dinna always like it, but sometimes there are surprises. Therefore, I feel I need to say somethin’ else to ye at this time.”
“What is it, Duncan?” She heard something in his voice and words that concerned her. Duncan was always a confidant man and usually optimistic. But could he possibly be worrying about this, too? Did he have doubts that something might keep them apart and that they wouldn’t really get married? She hoped not. This thought only added to her already growing concern.
“If for some reason I do get killed in battle . . .”
“Killed?” Her heart jumped into her throat. This is the last thing she wanted to think about right now. Why did he have to mention this? “Duncan, please, dinna go. Stay here with me instead,” she begged, knowing it would make no difference that she asked, but she had to try to persuade him.
He chuckled, waving a hand through the air, trying to make light of the situation. “I willna die, of course. I wasna sayin’ it to worry ye. I only wanted to mention this because I love ye so much.”
“I dinna understand.” Mari bit the inside of her cheek and waited for him to explain.
He let out a sigh before continuing. “What I’m tryin’ to say is that if for some reason I dinna return, then I want ye to marry another. I dinna want ye to be sad or lonely for the rest of yer life, because ye deserve so much better. I wouldna want the memory of me to stop ye from someday havin’ a husband and family.”
“Nay! Dinna talk this way, please.” Her eyes shot up to interlock with his. Fear coursed through her. This thought scared her more than anything, especially since he was the one bringing it up when he knew she had a tendency to stay awake nights thinking of what might happen. Mayhap this wasn’t such an easy mission after all. “I will never marry another man, Duncan. Ye are the only one for me.”
“Shhh,” he said, placing his finger against her lips, trying to calm her. “We dinna ken our destinies and neither should we pretend we do. Never say never.”
She covered his hand with hers, clinging to him, never wanting to let go. “I will never marry another man besides ye, Duncan MacLean, and I mean it.”
“Well then,” he said with a quick flash of a smile and a careless shrug of his shoulders. He was back to being carefree again. “I suppose if that’s the case then I’ll just have to make certain nothin’ happens to me and that I return.” He bent down and picked up a covered cage at his feet, holding it out to her.
“What is it?” she asked in confusion.
“It is a present for ye for after we’re married.”
“A weddin’ present? So soon?” she asked in bewilderment, feeling heat rise to her cheeks to receive a gift. She didn’t expect this.
“Aye, I couldna wait to show them to ye,” he explained. He yanked off the covering to reveal a pair of doves sitting together on a perch inside the cage. They were smaller than the pigeons that his father kept in the mews, and much daintier, too. They were light gray with gold-laced feathers on their wings. Their necks were ringed in silver with black and white stripes. A soft cooing trill filled the air as the birds preened one another. It made the moment seem magical and, for a second, she pushed her worries aside. “Their names are Lancelot and Guinevere,” he told her. “They are turtle doves and mate for life. They symbolize purity and innocence, just like ye. And also endurin’ love, like we have between us.”
“Oh, Duncan, I love them!” she said, taking the cage from him to inspect the birds. “But why did ye name the one Lancelot instead of Arthur? That doesna seem very loyal.”
“Everyone kens that Lancelot was Guinevere’s true love, no’ Arthur,” he told her. “And Lancelot, just like me, was always loyal to the lady he loved.”
“But I think ye’re forgettin’ that Guinevere was married to Arthur.” She raised a brow and grinned.
He chuckled again. “Well, that doesna pertain to us then, does it? After all, ye are single and ye’ve just assured me that I’m the only man ye’ll ever marry. Therefore, we dinna have to concern ourselves with old legends.” He reached out and tapped her on the tip of her nose.
“Nay, of course no’.” Mari smiled, drinking in the sight of her betrothed, anxious for Hogmanay to arrive since that was the day they would be wed. “Thank ye, Duncan. I love them.”
“I’ve trained them just like the carrier pigeons,” he explained. “I ken how much ye will miss yer clan and faither once we’re married and ye are livin’ here. Therefore, they are trained to take messages directly to Clan Stewart. If ye ever miss yer faither, all ye need to do is to release one of them from the cage with a missive tied to its leg. It’ll take it right to him. As soon as I return from battle, I’ll send a dove to ye at Clan Stewart so ye will ken that I am home.”
“Thank ye, Duncan,” she told him, her heart breaking to know he was about to battle the English and that there was a good chance he might be killed. She bit her bottom lip and tried to keep from crying. She needed to be strong. Soon, she’d be the wife of a Highland warrior and that wasn’t going to be easy. It would require patience and understanding. She would have to make many hard decisions in trying times. Mari knew this from watching her parents through the years.
She looked back down to the doves in the cage that were mated for life. They cooed happily and stretched their necks as they looked around. Someday, that would be her and Duncan. Mates for life. “I will cherish the doves and I canna wait to see them every day when I am wed to ye and livin’ at MacLean Castle. But for now, I will return to my clan and anxiously watch for the dove to announce yer return.”