Fuck.
After some time passed, she pulled back and smiled at me.
“Are you okay?” I asked, wanting to be sure she was in a good place mentally, especially after how distraught she had been on the phone last night.
“I’m much better now,” she assured me. “I’m so excited, Ryker. I mean, I’m nervous, but I’m excited.”
This was going to be harder than I thought.
Doing my best to keep my face and the tone of my voice impassive, I suggested, “Let’s sit down and talk for a minute.”
“Right,” she declared. “We need a plan.”
A moment later, we were sitting down. I was struggling to get the words out.
Scarlet didn’t seem to have any problems speaking and asked, “Okay, so, do you have any ideas?”
My eyes searched her face, memorizing every single curve and feature. When I thought I’d committed each of them to memory, my gaze drifted down over her neck. I recalled how I’d kissed her there many times before. Torturing myself even more, I continued the silent assessment of her.
And when I finally brought my eyes back to hers, I saw not an ounce of trepidation. She had no clue.
There was no doubt in my mind. This was going to break her.
Taking a deep breath, I finally said, “Scarlet, I think we need to end things here.”
Her body visibly rocked back as though she’d been punched in the face. “What?” she whispered.
“I can’t let you do this,” I told her.
“Ryker—”
“Listen,” I demanded, cutting her off because I knew if I allowed her to say something before I said what I needed to, she’d convince me to change my mind. “You can’t give this up for me, Scarlet.”
“Ryker, I can’t give you up for this,” she retorted.
Those words pierced my heart. She was willing to give up her entire future just to be with me.
I shook my head, knowing I needed to stick to the plan. I couldn’t allow that to happen. “You need to,” I insisted. “You need to finish school.”
“I don’t want this,” Scarlet rasped. “I want to be with you.”
“I love that. I love that you feel that way for me. But if I stand by and watch you do this, if I go along with this, I’ll never forgive myself,” I told her.
Tears rolled down her cheeks, and my fingers itched to wipe them away. For some reason, I didn’t. And it killed me not to comfort her.
“I hate them,” she hissed, referring to her parents.
“They want what’s best for you,” I offered, even though I knew it wouldn’t bring her any comfort.
“No, they want to control me,” she argued. “What’s best for me would be allowing me to make my own choices. What’s best for me is being happy with you. Forcing me to choose between you or my education is just cruel and hateful. And I made my choice, Ryker. I choose you.”
“I can’t let you do that,” I told her.
She stared at me silently for a brief moment before she murmured, “So, you don’t love me anymore?”
“Scarlet, I’ll love you for the rest of my life,” I promised.
Shooting up off the couch, she shouted, “Then prove it. Prove how much you love me, and don’t walk away from me.”
I was caught off guard by her sudden change in demeanor. Scarlet never shouted. She would laugh loud if she were happy or excited. But she never shouted in anger. Shocked by her reaction, I took too long to respond.
“Prove it,” she demanded, her voice even louder.
I stood up, reached out to hold her wrist in my hand, and urged, “Sweetheart, calm down. Listen to me.”
“I’m listening,” she advised impatiently.
“I’m not going anywhere,” I started. “You’re my girl forever. I can promise you that. But I need you to listen to me.”
Tears continued to pool in her eyes and roll down her cheeks. My heart was breaking more with each one that fell.
“Finish school,” I instructed gently. “And when you’re done, I’ll be waiting for you.”
Scarlet’s eyes darted back and forth. That alone was enough of an indication that she was on the brink of completely losing it. But if I hadn’t realized it then, I would have when she shrieked, “That’s seven years away!”
“It’s only seven years,” I countered. “And I’d wait forever for you if I had to, Scarlet.”
Shaking her head, sadness washing over her, she was clearly on the verge of breaking down. “Don’t do this,” she pleaded softly. “Please, Ryker, don’t do this.”
I didn’t respond.
That’s when she lost it.
She reached down, picked up the candy dish, and hurled it across the room. The glass shattered against the wall, and candy scattered all over the floor.
My body remained frozen, seeing this reaction from her. This was far worse than I thought.
“No!” she shouted, reaching to the end table to grab the picture frame. “No, Ryker! No! I don’t accept your stupid idea!”
The frame went sailing past my head to the wall behind me.
Before she destroyed her apartment or injured herself, I snapped myself out of it. I moved to her and tried to wrap my arms around her.
She pressed her palms to my chest and pushed me away. “No!” she yelled, moving to pick up the drinking glass on the table. “What about my feelings? What about my choice?”
Half a second later, the glass crashed and shattered against the wall.
“Scarlet,” I called, moving to her again.
She pounded her fists into my chest. “Don’t do this, Ryker,” she begged.
“We’re going to be okay,” I promised her, holding her close.
She continued to struggle in my arms, finally breaking down into full-fledged sobs. “Don’t take it away from me,” she rasped. “Don’t take my happy ending away.”
God, she was killing me.
“I’m not, sweetheart. It’s just for a little while,” I insisted.
“I don’t want… I don’t want this,” she cried, her knees buckling. “Please, Ryker, I don’t want this. Just take me with you. I’ll do anything for you to take me with you.”
“I can’t do that,” I said, breaking her heart and my own at the same time.
The heaviness of our grief was so crushing; it pulled us both to the ground like a lead weight.
“Please take me with you,” she begged, her body cradled against mine. She continued to sob violently in my arms.
I didn’t know how much more I could take.
“If you love me, you won’t leave me,” she wept.
“Don’t say that. I’m doing this because I love you, Scarlet,” I insisted.
Her face was pressed so tight to my chest, yet I could still feel her trying to shake it in disagreement. “Love doesn’t hurt like this,” she murmured. “You’re leaving me with nothing.”
My arms tightened around her. “I’m leaving you with a promise that I’ll be there waiting for you as soon as you finish,” I offered gently.
“It’s not enough. I can’t just exist for the next seven years, Ryker,” she started. “That’s all I did until my sixteenth birthday. I can’t go back to that existence. And I can’t bear to think it was a mistake to fall in love with you.”