She sniffled and wiped at her face again.
Blast it all. He hated seeing her in so much pain. He hesitated a moment and then reached for her, slipping his arms around her waist, drawing her backward, and embracing her from behind.
She grew rigid.
He stilled. Had he made a mistake in trying to ease her misery? An instant later, when her body softened and melded against him, he allowed himself to relax. And when her hands came up and folded over his where he held her, he released a slow breath.
She sniffed, this time louder.
He wanted to offer her encouragement of some kind, but he couldn’t formulate any words. He tugged her closer and prayed she sensed that he cared.
She leaned her head against his shoulder, her hair brushing his chin. And for several heartbeats, she let him hold her, resting against him as if that’s where she wanted to be.
But then she wiggled, trying to free herself. “I’m sorry, Wyatt. I want to stay strong so I don’t bother you.”
“Hold on now. You’re not bothering me—”
“You’ve got enough to take care of with the beef, and instead you spent your entire day searching for Astrid.” She reached for a spatula and the pan, but he stopped her by turning her around so she was facing him.
“Listen to me.” His tone was stern but soft, and he held her upper arms so she couldn’t escape. “Nothin’, and I do mean nothin’, is more important than finding Astrid, ya hear?”
Biting her bottom lip, she refused to meet his gaze.
“The beef’ll be fine. And even if it ain’t, we’ll figure out how to get by.”
Her beautiful eyes welled with tears. “I hate that I’m causing you so much trouble.”
It was nearly the same thing she’d said to him that afternoon in the barn before Brawley’s visit. “You’re not causing trouble.”
“That’s not true. Since you brought us here, Astrid and I have only made your life more complicated and worrisome.”
“You’ve made my life better and more bearable.”
She shook her head, and tears spilled over and down her cheeks. “You’re too nice, Wyatt. But I know how much of a hassle we are, especially with Astrid being sick.”
“Ah, darlin’.” The word of endearment slipped out before he could censure it. And with it said, he threw the rest of his caution away, wound his arms around her, and pulled her close.
She pressed her face into him, her tears dampening his shirt.
How would he convince her she wasn’t a hassle? “I’m mighty glad I was there in town at the right time to get you. I’m the lucky one.”
He meant every word he said, and he hoped to reassure her. But a sob escaped, and she buried her face deeper into his chest, muffling more sobs.
For crying-in-the-rain. He brushed his hand over her back. “I’m sorry, darlin’. I don’t want to hurt you, but it seems that’s all I’m good for.”
She pulled back then and half laughed through her tears. “Oh, Wyatt. I like you.”
“Then you’ll forgive me for using you to get the cattle deal?”
“Yes, but only if you’ll forgive me for using you to have a safe place for Astrid.”
“There ain’t nothin’ to forgive. You were desperate.”
“So were you.” Her cheeks were splotchy and her eyes red, but she’d never looked more beautiful as she peered up at him, her lashes still wet but her eyes filled with—love?
Was it possible she loved him? Not just liked?
His heartbeat stuttered forward, picking up its pace. Now wasn’t the time or place for making a declaration of his own love for her. But he needed her to understand that he didn’t want her to leave.
Maybe if he reassured her he was serious. “I’m gonna tell Steele to call off the cattle bargain and let him know we’re not having a babe—”
“No.” She grabbed his shirt. “You can’t do that, Wyatt. You need the cattle now more than ever.”
He straightened and stood taller. He’d already made up his mind and wasn’t about to let her sway him. “I need to be a man of truth more than anything.”
Her fists tightened in the fabric. Her lips pursed as though she wanted to protest but was holding herself back.
“Come what may, I gotta set things right. I’ve been deceiving Steele, and I need to come clean with him. And this way, you won’t ever wonder if I’m saying or doing something because of the deal. You’ll know you can trust me.”
Finally she nodded. “I understand. And I respect you all the more for what you need to do.”
He let himself relax, and for the first time since holding her, he took notice of the softness of her body pressing into him, along with her warmth and nearness. The way she clung to his shirt and the intensity of her gaze sent a surge of heat through him. Doggone, he needed to kiss her.
His attention dropped to her lips. Would she welcome him? Somehow the thought of kissing and holding her seemed right, another way to offer comfort and support in the difficulties of life . . . during this difficulty of Astrid being gone.
As if coming to the same conclusion, her fingers released his shirt and glided up his torso to his shoulders. The caress sent more heat through him and slung his self-control out the window. If he kissed her tonight, he was only asking for trouble. He’d end up sweeping her into his arms, carrying her to the bed, and lying down next to her.
Although every muscle in his body tightened with his desire, tonight wasn’t the right night. Before he could change his mind, he took a step back and broke their connection.
She dropped her hands, her expression chagrined.
He had another urge, almost overwhelming, to pick up her hands and kiss each of her fingers. “I’m going now,” he whispered, “before I do something I might regret come morning.”
“Regret?” Her eyes rounded with confusion.
“Yep. I’m aiming to talk to Steele and call off the deal before I kiss you again.”
“You don’t have to.” As soon as her words were out, her cheeks turned pink.
With a suppressed moan, he forced himself back another step. “Yep, I have to. ’Cause next time I kiss you, I ain’t gonna stop.”
She dropped her attention to the floor, her pretty lips turning up into a shy smile.
He forced himself to turn and walk to the door. For tonight he had to be satisfied with her smile and the realization that when he did get around to kissing her again, she’d be good and ready. He’d see to that.
Chapter 24
Astrid had been gone for two full days and two full nights. And with every passing day and night, the chances that something dire had happened to her increased. Greta didn’t want to think about all the scenarios, but her mind flashed with scenes of Astrid lying injured at the bottom of a ravine or lost somewhere in the mountains.
Unfortunately, Judd brought back only bad news from his trip to town. Neither of the other search parties had located a trace of Astrid anywhere, and no one in any of the mining communities had seen her.
Judd had borrowed a horse from Mr. Steele, and with his mount weighed down with more beef to sell, he left to ride up to Tarryall, looking for Astrid along the way.