He shook his head as he rubbed his hands together. “And I already told you why we can’t do that. If I could, don’t you think I would’ve already?”
“We can. I give you my word.”
He clenched his jaw and shook his head.
“I’m not gonna let this go, Fender. You can banish me from the camp, but I’m going to get back in here just the way I got into your cabin.”
His eyes narrowed. “Are you threatening me?”
“I’m warning you.”
“Sounds like the same thing to me.”
“Trust me, you would know if I was threatening you.”
He shook his head. “Don’t make me do it when I don’t want to do it.”
“But you do want to stop killing the girls.”
“No, I’m not talking about that.” Both of his hands tightened into fists. “I’m talking about you. If you keep opposing me, you leave me no choice. Don’t put me in that position.”
This had just taken a dark turn.
“Take the girl and go live your life. Don’t interfere with mine.”
“Fender, why won’t you even try?”
He shook his head. “Because I don’t want to take the risk. I’ll never forget how it felt to be powerless, to dig in a garbage can for food, to be at the mercy of someone bigger and stronger than me. I hate what we do to those girls as much as you do. But there is no other way. I care a lot more about my power than their lives. Yes, that means I’ll be damned, but we both know I was damned a long time ago.” He rose to his feet and left the sitting area. “I’m not having this conversation anymore. I made my choice, and you’ve clearly made yours. Come back to the camp, and I’ll do what I have to do…and I guess you’ll do what you have to do too.”
Thirty-Three
Loyalty
Fender left before sunrise.
I didn’t even know he was gone until I went to his cabin and found it vacated. Our conversation didn’t do anything other than solidify the breakdown of our relationship. Doing the right thing cost me my brother, but it wouldn’t have had to cost me anything if he’d just left the darkness and stepped into the light.
I should be angry.
But I wasn’t.
I was disappointed. Really disappointed.
I put him in a position he didn’t want to be in, but he did the exact same thing to me. He wouldn’t give any ground, when I wouldn’t stop pursuing that same ground.
I didn’t speak to Raven much because I was in such a sour mood. I felt the weight of the world on my shoulders, protecting strangers in the camp when I was about to lose access to it. I also had to protect my brother, because when I came back to put an end to the torture, I couldn’t just kill him. There would be no hesitation to kill the other guards, but with him, I just couldn’t do it.
Raven knew I didn’t want to talk, so she didn’t try to open me up. It was another reason why I knew she was the right woman for me. She understood exactly who I was and didn’t try to change me. If I didn’t want to talk, she let it be.
We were together almost every moment of the day, so we didn’t always have something to say. We found this comfortable silence, unspoken camaraderie, and it made me feel less alone despite the loneliness in my heart. Ever since I became an adult, it’d always been Fender and me. Without him, I wasn’t even sure who I was.
But having Raven made that a little easier.
She reminded me who I was. She reminded me what I was capable of. She reminded me what kind of man I wanted to be.
I lay in bed beside her with the moonlight coming in through the curtains over the window. Her hand was on my stomach, her cheek against my shoulder.
Without looking at me, she asked, “Are you okay?” She knew I was awake without seeing my face. She could tell just by the way I breathed.
We were supposed to leave in two days. Normally, I couldn’t wait to get out of this place, but this time, I was afraid. What would happen when I wasn’t there? People would die. Once I was free, I had to form a plan quickly because the longer I waited, the more victims would be hung on that noose. A plan had never felt impossible when Fender was my partner.
But now it was just me.
When I didn’t answer, she propped herself up on her elbow and looked down at me, her hair all over my chest and shoulder. It was so long now, getting longer and longer with every month that passed.
“My life would be so much easier if Fender would just see reason.”
She rubbed my chest then pressed a few kisses to my neck. “Maybe he will…before the end.”
“I don’t know…”
“You stood up to him and spared those three women, publicly taking away his power. He could’ve done something then, but he didn’t. I think you’re right. He’s not evil as I thought he was. So, there’s still hope…I think.”
It was our final day at the camp. At sunrise, we would leave for the last time. I knew Raven would never return because I wouldn’t bring her with me when I challenged my brother. It was too dangerous. There was too much at stake for me to risk the one thing I cared about the most.
I went to the clearing to retrieve Raven at the end of the workday, acting as her guard as if we were still in the midst of winter.
The sun was starting to fade over the horizon, tucking behind the tall trees, the clearing becoming shaded. There were long shadows across the ground, and the heat was starting to dissipate. Wordlessly, she left the table and joined me, her skin damp and shiny from the sweat. Not once did she complain about the tiring work she had to do. She did it every day just so she could sleep with me every night.
But as I turned to look at her, something happened.
One of the guards shouted. “A crew is headed this way!”
Raven’s eyebrows rose as she stopped in her tracks.
I did the same and looked over my shoulder. “A crew? What does that mean?” I turned around the other way and jogged to the front gates.
Raven was right behind me.
Eric picked up a large board and dropped it into the slot across the gate, an extra measure to keep it closed.
“What the fuck is happening?” I shouted to Nathan, who was at the top of the ladder, looking over the edge.
“There’s thirty guys on horses,” he reported. “All dressed in black. All riding this way. They’ve got guns too.”
There was no possibility it was any of our guys coming with the wagons or with a shipment. I didn’t need to look over the edge to see for myself. “Keep them out as long as you can. We’ll get the guns.” Just as I turned away, I heard guns start to fire off and bullets pierce the wooden perimeter.
Nathan jumped off the ladder and landed hard on the ground. “Oh Jesus…”
Fear struck me like an ax to the chest. It was about survival, not just for the camp, but for our souls. I turned to Alix and gave an order. “Get all the guns out of the vault. Hand them out. Now.” Alix took off at a dead run.
Another round of bullets struck the wooden fence around the camp. The only reason why I’d built it was to keep the girls in, not the enemies out. But now, I was glad I built that wall with my own hands.