“Magnus—”
“I don’t want to hear your apology ever again. It’s meaningless. You made your decision—and you have to live with it.” I wanted to storm out, but I didn’t because there was no way to know if she would be safe. My anger didn’t combat my obligation. I would stay until she was ready to walk away. “I will be here until you’re well again. But that’s only because you saved my life—and now I owe you.” I moved back to the chair and sat down so she couldn’t look at me. I stared at one of the screens, not interested in looking at her face again.
She was quiet for a long time, the monitors beeping and filling the tense air with their obnoxious sounds. Her blood pressure cuff tightened until it beeped and released the air. The new reading appeared on the screen.
She broke the silence with a weak voice. “I did it because I care about you…because I’d die for you.”
I closed my eyes and clenched my jaw, refusing to feel anything again. I refused to get caught up in that bullshit again. I refused to feel empathy, compassion, kindness. I only felt bitterness and spite.
“I understand why you feel betrayed, but you know I did the right thing.”
“The right thing?” I got back to my feet and looked down at her, getting angry. “You’re back to where you started. Literally.”
She didn’t match my emotion because she was too weak. Her eyes watched mine for a while. “But I freed those girls—”
“And they were replaced by a new batch. Nice work.”
She shifted her gaze away, like that knowledge truly pained her.
“This place will never go away. Girls will die and be replaced by new ones. It’ll be here after you’re gone, after I’m gone. You can burn the place to the ground, but it will just be replaced. This is bigger than you, bigger than me, and it wasn’t worth your life to challenge it. Your sister belongs to the man I saved her from, and you’re back in the same captivity. Fucking stupid.”
“If I had to do it all over again, I would.”
I clenched my jaw in irritation.
She shifted her gaze back to me. “You know I did the right thing, Magnus. You know you respect me for trying. You know that the reason this is here…is because I have a heart, and so do you.”
I held her gaze and felt my heart sink to my stomach.
“I had to do the right thing, even if that meant betraying you. And I know this is difficult to believe…but I’m still loyal to you. I will do anything for you, not because you saved me, but because…you deserve to have someone look out for you too. Liberating this camp took precedence over you because it’s bigger than either of us. But I will take a knife to the stomach over and over, as many times as necessary, to keep you alive.”
I looked away, refusing to acknowledge the sincerity of her gaze.
She moved her hand to mine.
I pulled it free. “You have no idea what your betrayal has cost me.” I looked at the monitor and felt my body shake in anger. “You have no idea the humiliation I’ve suffered because of you. The one fucking time I allow myself to feel something, it bites me in the fucking ass. I will never make that mistake again.”
“Why don’t you just leave?”
“I can’t.”
“Why—”
“Because I can’t.” I stepped back from the table. “Don’t speak to me again. When you’ve recovered, I will be indifferent to you once again. The guards can do whatever they want—and I will let it happen.”
Eight
Sucked Back In
After a few days of rest, Daniel discharged her from the infirmary.
She was young and healthy and bounced back from the injury fairly quickly. The wound closed, there was no infection, and she was able to walk out and return to her cabin. The second Daniel said she was ready to return to her normal duties, I walked out without looking back.
I hadn’t gotten my tasks done like I was supposed to, so I was behind. I had to work my ass off to catch up and hope Fender didn’t notice.
After I asked Raven not to speak to me, she didn’t.
So, we never spoke again.
I didn’t owe her a goddamn thing. I’d saved her life so many fucking times—so she was still in my debt.
I’d warned Alix that I would kill him if he made another attempt.
Now I had to make good on my word.
I went to the communal cabin that night with my blade in my pocket. If he was sitting there and playing poker with the guys, I’d hold him down and slit his throat. The mess would remain behind until someone else cleaned up because I certainly wouldn’t.
When I walked in, that exact scene was in front of me.
Alix sat on the other side, holding the cards in his hand.
I shut the door behind me and pulled out my knife.
Alix immediately got to his feet. “Truce.”
“Truce?” I actually laughed because it was fucking ridiculous. “I asked for a truce twice—and you ignored it. I may only have one ball left, but you’re the pussy who couldn’t kill me three fucking times. You’re gonna sit in that chair, and I’m going to slit your fucking throat. Anyone who resists me will get the same fate.”
None of the guys moved. Word had spread that I was outnumbered four to one, and I still prevailed.
Alix held up his hand. “Magnus, come on—”
“Come on?” I snapped.
“We’ll forget what you did if you forget this. That’s fucking fair.”
I wanted life in the camp to return to normal, when all the guards didn’t despise me. If I killed Alix, they would still hate me. But if I let him live…I wouldn’t have to sleep with one eye open. I sheathed my blade and returned it to my pocket.
Alix immediately looked relieved. “You want in?” He sat down and grabbed his cards again.
The guys looked at him then looked at me.
It was hard for me to pretend nothing happened, that they hadn’t turned against me so ruthlessly for the past month. But the quickest way to leave it behind was to move forward. I opened the fridge, grabbed a beer, and took a seat. “Deal me in.”
My routine became normal once again.
The guards stopped ostracizing me. They spoke to me like nothing had happened at all, like the camp hadn’t burned to the ground because of my stupidity. Whenever I worked, they would step in and help me like before.
It made my life a lot easier.
Raven went back to work on the line, but I never directly looked at her to see if she was struggling.
I returned to my indifference—as I promised.
In a couple weeks, I would return to Paris, which I’d been looking forward to. The repetitiveness of the camp could be mentally exhausting at times. The food was always the same, there were no eligible women around, and you couldn’t get a good glass of wine. Now that I had earned the forgiveness of the camp, I knew Fender’s full pardon would follow soon afterward.
I joined the guys for a round of poker that night. Chips were in the center, cards on the table, and the empty bottles of beer continued to cover the surface. Some of the guys smoked cigars, but I’d never been a fan of the taste it left in my mouth.