"Step four," he whispered. "Get them to expect it, want it. And then wait until they aren't."
That was a good reminder—he was doing this out of duty. My heart might have been doing the worm in my chest, but his wasn't. Recognizing that fact didn't have the same icy dousing effect it had the first time. Now that I knew what it felt like to have Nash's lips against mine, I didn't care about the reason. I didn't care if I had to pay him just as long as I got to feel him again.
I pushed off the couch, slamming our mouths together with much less finesse. If these kisses were limited, then I was going to squeeze each one out of him for as long as I could.
Nash let me take control of the kiss, holding me with his palms against my spine. My confidence faltered for a split second, but I rose to the occasion, literally. My dick pressed against my zipper, longing to be free and join in on the fun. I poked my tongue out, running it along the seam of his lips and making his mouth open.
I let out a silent whoop of joy as I thrust my tongue in, mentally smirking at the fact that I'd done to him the same thing I'd been glad he hadn't done to me. But Nash didn't seem to mind. Not at all. His tongue joined mine, the two muscles twining and dancing together until my head spun.
When our faces separated again, panic flared. He wouldn't owe me anything after this, and I'd have no excuse for remaining near. "I couldn't heal people until after the crash. The curse wasn't so bad at first. After I moved from my aunt's, though, that changed. People started getting hurt more and more, always directly around me. I'd heal them, but got to thinking, if I wasn't there, would they have been hurt? I always felt responsible, until the day I realized… I was. I don't know why or how, but the longer I stay in a place, the more people around me experience freak accidents."
Nash didn't move away, but he did look extremely confused. "Why are you telling me this now?" he asked, not unkindly.
My gaze fell, but Nash waited patiently while I worked up enough bravery to look at him again. "Because now, I've told you more, so you owe me more. That's the way this works, right?"
Nash smiled. It wasn't a smirk or a grin, but a full-on expression of happiness that made me forget how to breathe. "If that's how you want it," he replied.
I didn't know how I wanted it, just who. Nash.
"I want to talk about this curse more, though. What do you mean when you—"
I lunged forward, grabbing his shirt by the collar as I pressed our faces together. This time, Nash quickly took control, digging his fingers in my hair, holding my face in the exact position he wanted. He cupped my neck with his other hand, letting his thumb graze gently over my neck. I could only imagine how wildly my pulse beat against his hand. Could he feel what he did to my body? I had a hunch he could. When it came to Nash, he knew exactly what he was doing.
"Did I do step four right? Wait for when they don't expect it?"
His gaze dimmed. "Yeah, you did. That was perfect."
My stomach flipped at the compliment while I tried to think of something else I could tell him that would keep the kisses going but wouldn't make him despise me as a human.
His phone chimed in his pocket, and he pulled it out. "Sorry, I just need to check it really quick. Never know what the…" His words trailed off as he looked at what was on the screen. He knitted his eyebrows together, frowning at the screen.
"What is it?" I wasn't trying to be nosy, but his expression was too intense for me not to question it.
He angled the screen toward me. I frowned, unsure of what I was looking at for a second. There was a large metal cylinder sitting on a table. "Who's it from?"
"Aver. It's probably something meant for Branson. They're putting in an irrigation system out on the edge of Walkerton."
I smirked. "You got an unsolicited shaft pic."
He smiled and leaned back. "Normally I'm the one sending these."
That shocked me. "I thought you'd be too good for dick pics."
"And keep this beauty away from the world? No one puts baby in the corner." Nash darted his eyes my direction. "Can we both agree to forget that I just referred to my penis as baby?"
Laughter bubbled up in my throat. "Sure." As much as I wanted to kiss Nash forever, I was grateful to cut the tension. "Thanks for today. You really helped."
Nash's mouth pressed into a firm line. "We just kissed. There's more to being experienced."
I laughed nervously. "I think if we go any further, it turns into prostitution."
He didn't look at all perturbed by that idea.
"Have you…?"
Nash tilted his head, giving me the full force of his stare.
"Of course not. That was a silly question, I'm sorry."
"While no one should be pushed into doing something they don't want to, I also don't think sex should be such a big deal. It's simply another way people have of interacting. No one agonizes over a handshake."
I stuck my hand out. "Hi, I'm Phin. I agonize over everything."
He laughed. "Most people don't agonize over handshakes, then. Sex can be just as casual."
Maybe for him. After all, rain didn't mean the same thing to someone living in the desert as it did to someone living in a rain forest. When something came in abundance, it was easy to forget that, for others, it was a rarity. "So, your tip is to treat sex like it's something casual?"
"No," he barked, and I jerked back from the intensity. "That isn't what I'm saying," he continued at a lower level. "I'm saying it doesn't have to be a big deal that you panic over. Think of it more like a natural progression between two people who are attracted to each other."
Awesome. Bun was always saying how oblivious I was to the attentions of others. If sex depended on me recognizing interest coming from another person, I was in more trouble than I knew. Why couldn't this all be easier? I'd longed for mood detector skin ever since I was a confused child, unsure why my friends were acting the way they were. That was another reason why I preferred my friendships to be virtual—I was required to assume less and could investigate more before being required to answer. "Maybe I'm meant to be a solitary creature. I'm crap at reading people. And it isn't so bad. Sex with people is fun, but I've got enough skill and tools to have just as much fun on my own."
"Tools?" Nash asked, with a tone that was the verbal equivalent of perking up his ears.
Oh shit. "You know, just like the regular stuff."
"No, I don't know. What sort of tools?"
A man who had no problem getting someone else to touch his penis wouldn't waste time and money purchasing devices that mimicked the act of being touched. And my collection was… extensive. Why had I brought them up? He'd demand to see it all. And if I didn't show him, he'd just think I was way kinkier than I was.
I didn't own anything too crazy. A few plugs, my trusty dildo, and then some odds and ends that came as free gifts or had been on sale. There wasn't anything that I used with another person; it was all for personal, private use.
Nash got to his feet. "Where do you keep them?" He looked back in the kitchen like he was looking for a box marked Phin's Sex Toys.