“Feel right, or something is missing?”
He knew me too well.
“Bit of both,” I answered honestly.
Robbie sighed, lowering his eyes and taking a gulp of his beer. “You need to let it go, Anderson.”
I nodded, as I always did when he stated this fact. But I couldn’t ever let it go. Something inside me wouldn’t let it fucking go, as much as I tried. Every damn day. “I know. Not that easy though, not when there’s this constant fucking rage swirling around inside me, eager for vengeance.”
“She’s a woman! Just a fucking woman!”
“A fucking woman who took something from me that day, Rob. A fucking woman who left something with me. Something that refuses to go!”
“You need to get over this shit!”
Growling under my breath I just nodded, cutting off the conversation. It always ended up with me frustrated and Robbie rolling his eyes.
Knowing I’d locked it up inside again, Rob patted my shoulder and slid off the counter. Throwing his empty bottle into the bin, he stopped by the door and turned back to me. “Lock it down now. We need to concentrate on this job. I’ll be here at eleven tomorrow night.”
Nodding, I frowned. I hadn’t a clue what the job entailed, but Robbie would have it covered. He always did. For the first time in my life – well actually the second – I trusted someone. Knowing he wouldn’t let me down felt good. But it also scared the shit out of me because I had something to lose. Again.
HIS EYES WERE WIDE, THE echo of his raging heartbeat portrayed through his pleading stare. Tears streamed down his cheeks, some flicking off to the side as he shook his head desperately.
Blood leaked from a gaping wound on his temple, and his chin had disappeared under a river of blood from where Robbie had pulled six of his teeth out.
And now it was my turn.
My heartbeat was as aggressive as the man’s before me, the adrenaline running through me as powerful as what ran through my target’s, yet mine was due to excitement and his was from fear.
“Mr Garner.” I sighed as I bent to crouch in front of him. “I have a job to do. You’re not making that job easy.”
He surveyed me closely, his eyes narrow with hatred and his jaw trembling with terror. He had the darkest brown eyes I’d ever come across and for some reason I found them slightly hypnotic. The rush of blood through my veins calmed a little and I blew out a steady breath as I pressed the tip of the gun against his knee.
Those soothing eyes soon turned to stormy ones, his pupils widening and breaking me from the serene depths.
“Just give me the code and we can end this cleanly and quickly.”
“Fuck you!”
His scream made my ears pop when I shot his right kneecap, bits of his bone flying off to the side. Blood poured down his leg, and I sighed, bored out of my tiny mind.
“Just fucking finish him,” I told Rob who scowled at me. “He’s boring me. I have better things to do.”
Another bullet blasted a hole in his left kneecap. I didn’t know what it was about the sound of a gunshot but it always pacified the relentless noise in my head, like its shrill hum tuned into the same wavelength and spoke to the incessant pulse in my brain that never ceased.
I pressed the muzzle up against his crotch and Garner cried out. He tried to retreat into the chair but there was nowhere to go.
“Okay!” he shouted. “Okay.”
Smiling, I patted his cheek when he reeled off five numbers. “Much better.”
Robbie text the code to our client then dropped the burner phone to the floor and crushed it under foot. Then, putting a bullet through Garner’s forehead, we cleaned up and called it a night.
Red ran beside me, her tongue lolling to the side as she panted in sync with me. I pushed harder tonight, the muscles in my legs already screaming at me from the halfway mark. I liked to run at night; it was quieter, and cooler, the heavy summer heat making the vodka I’d consumed earlier in the evening pour from my pores.
We took a detour down by the canal, a change of surroundings needed to clear my head. My feet pounded the floor, the thud ricocheting through my skull and the heavy rhythm lulling the raging violence that twisted under my skin. My breathing levelled out, each exhale dispersing some of the fury that rattled my bones. Yet nothing could clear my thoughts, the image in my head of those striking blue eyes and that beautiful smile, the memory of her soft lips against mine, the touch of her breast under my palm. The sound of her gravelly voice played on repeat in my head. “I won’t leave you, I promise.”. “I won’t leave you, I promise.”
My hands twitched and my knuckles cracked when my fingers curled into hard fists.
Shaking my head, I forced her out, or rather I tried to. It had been four years. Why the fuck wouldn’t she stop haunting me?
I’d trusted her. She’d stepped into my life just when I’d needed someone to lean on. And she’d used that part of me to further her damn fucking career. I’d opened up to her and in return she’d left a hole within me that nothing would fill.
Red stopped sharply, her nose twitching when a particular scent in the air got her attention.
“What is it, girl?”
She looked at me, her unique blue and green eyes alerting me to her sensory overload as she gave me a short bark.
I gave her a nod and she ran off in front. I struggled to keep up with her after she barked again and disappeared into some undergrowth with just the tip of her tail revealing her location.
“Ah shit,” I mumbled when I found her nudging a dead dog with her nose. She whined, pushing at it harder.
Her eyes turned on me and there was a sadness in her gaze that asked for my help.
Turning on my phone’s flashlight so I could see in the darkness, I squatted beside the poor thing but I already knew it was too late before I felt for any sign of life.
“Good girl.” I stroked Red’s ears when she whined in sympathy.
Flipping over the tag on its collar I found a phone number. It wasn’t a great thing to have to do, but if someone had found Red dead in the bushes I hoped they would call me.
Red sat respectfully by the dog as I keyed in the number and waited for an answer.
Half praying that it didn’t connect and half hoping it would, I grimaced when someone answered after only one ring. “Hello?” There was a desperation in her voice that told me she was waiting for this call.
“Uhh, yeah. Hi.” For some strange reason my mouth dried and a cold sensation trickled through my veins. “I, uhh, found your dog.”
“Oh, thank God.” Relief flooded her previous anguish and my gut coiled. “Where is he?”
“He’s umm, down by the canal.” Something didn’t feel right but I couldn’t put my finger on what. The woman sounded genuine enough, yet there was something tapping on my brain.
“Really? Wow. I’ll be right there. Can you keep hold of him for me, please?”
The poor cow shouldn’t have to find her dog like this. It was going to be rough on her as it was. “I can bring him to you.”
She paused then answered quietly. “Really? You’d do that?”
“Sure.”
She gave me her address after another long pause.