Grabbing him, I held onto him so tightly. His arms held me back just as strongly, and what we had failed to do in the whole of our marriage, we managed to do in that single fierce embrace.
Tears slid down my cheeks when we pulled apart and he wiped them away, his handsome face smiling at me through the blur. “You will have to come and meet Jenny. She’d love to meet you.”
Jenny. Strangely, her name didn’t hurt me as much as I had expected it to. And I was pleased about that.
“I will.”
He smiled. We both knew that I lied, that this would be the very last time we would ever see each other. Deep down I would always love Ben; he’d been my first love and that love always lives in a part of you forever. But I also knew I was in love with Anderson. Whereas Ben was my first love, I knew within my heart that Anderson would be my everlasting love, the man who would forever hold the shattered pieces of my soul and carry them for me. As toxic as our love was, it was also medicine that soothed the agony that lived with me, and even though he had used me and hurt me, finally surrendering to that love crumbled away something inside me and for the first time in many years I took a full breath.
“You gonna be okay?” he asked as his sad eyes held me for the last time.
“Yeah,” I whispered as I reached up and kissed his cheek. “Yeah.”
And somehow, deep down, with or without Anderson, I knew I would be.
I’d sat in the car outside Anderson’s for over two hours. I didn’t have the code for his gates and he wasn’t answering my calls or the intercom.
What I hadn’t expected was Robbie pulling up to the gates. He frowned, his face squinting at me from the dark interior of his car before he waved me through after him.
“He’s not here,” he said as soon as we both climbed from our cars.
“Right.” I sighed disappointedly. “I wasn’t sure if he was just ignoring me.”
Robbie looked uncomfortable, his eyes diverting from mine. “He’s at a fight.”
“I need to see him. It’s important.”
“Kloe…”
“This… this isn’t about me and him. But I have to talk to him. Please, Robbie.”
He looked to the floor, sighing. “I know I’m gonna regret this. But I like you, and even though Anderson can be a pain in the ass, I care about him and I want to see him happy. Somehow, I know that’s only gonna be your job.”
I wasn’t as sure as he was but I blew out a relieved breath. “Thank you.”
A look of concern crossed his face and he grimaced. “Are you sure you wanna do this? These fights aren’t like they are on the telly, Kloe. It’s dark shit.”
“I’ll be fine,” I lied. I needed to see Anderson so it would have to be something I sucked up. “Also, I need another favour.”
Quirking an eyebrow, he nodded for me to go on.
“I need a gun.”
Robbie held my hand so tightly I thought he was going to break my fingers as he led me through the upper level of the club. It appeared to be much like any other club with a bar and a dancefloor. However, Robbie didn’t stop at the bar, or to ask me for a dance. He guided me through the throng of people and through a door at the rear that indicated to the toilets. The toilets passed us on the right and we pushed through a door on the left marked ‘staff only’.
I tensed when Robbie continued down the corridor and came to a stop in front of a huge bulk of a man. He wore an earpiece and stood menacingly, his huge arms crossed across his massive chest.
“Robbie,” he greeted with a smile.
“Good to see you, Sherbet.”
Sherbet? He didn’t look at all sweet.
Sherbet’s eyes slid over to me and he grinned wider. “Sugar.” His greeting came with a polite nod of his head. “Enjoy the fight.” He pushed open the door behind him and signalled for us to go through.
As soon as I stepped foot inside the next corridor, the atmosphere shifted dramatically. The air stank of sweat, blood and anticipation. Excited murmuring floated from where we headed. My gut bubbled with nerves and sensing the shift in my mood, Robbie stopped and turned to me.
“Are you sure you want to do this?”
“I don’t have a choice.”
“You always have a choice, Kloe.”
Shaking my head, I straightened my shoulders. “Yeah, and this time I need to make the right one.”
Shrugging and holding out his hands, he blew out a breath and then led me through the last door.
The area was huge, the high ceilings and tall walls somehow making me think of Mary Poppins’ bag, the hidden space beneath the club feeling illusory. Masses of people stood around a large square cage in the centre of the room and a few sat in seats adjacent to the four sides. VIP balconies overlooking the fight ring were suspended on steel poles. But it was the atmosphere in the large space that made my throat dry. An anticipation of death lingered in the air, excitement for bloodshed and slaughter heavy in the whispers of the crowd.
“Do they fight to the death?”
Robbie halted when he caught my question. Turning to me, a glint of fear trickled into his eyes. “Yes.”
Pain slithered into me and I had to catch my breath with the agony in my chest. “Why does he do this?”
He gave me a soft smile and squeezed my hand. “Because he has to, Kloe. Don’t try to understand him because you’ll forever fail.”
“And what happens if he fails?”
Unable to answer my question he shook his head and headed towards the back of the room. Just before we pushed through a door, the crowd around us roared and electricity sizzled in the atmosphere.
“Shit!” Robbie growled. “We’re too late. We’ll have to wait!”
“What?” Panic sliced through my heartbeat, sending it crazy when Robbie turned us back around and guided us into a quiet corner spot away from the throng of chanting people.
Music blared out through some speakers, deafening me before a voice cut in to introduce ‘Killstreak’. A huge man jogged into the room from one of the doorways, his hands high in the air and his smile as vicious as his eyes. Women went crazy around him, fighting to get just one touch of him, their hands tearing at his gold robe.
‘Killstreak’ grabbed hold of his groin and roared into the crowd of women. Nausea curdled my stomach as they all went crazy and I rolled my eyes.
Climbing into the cage, he jumped up and down, enticing the audience and bigging himself up.
The volume of screams and shouts amplified and for a moment I wondered why. It was then that I saw Anderson enter the cage and the majority of the women screamed louder when the compere introduced ‘Anderson Cain’ to the cage. Anderson’s attitude was the total opposite of Killstreak’s. Not once did he address the crowd or even look out. He was entirely in his own zone, his eyes down to the floor as he took plentiful deep breaths. He was so concentrated on himself that I wasn’t sure he even knew anyone else was there – apart from Killstreak.
“I don’t think I can do this.”
Robbie didn’t hear me over the noise in the room. Fighting with the vomit that was climbing for freedom, I closed my eyes, held on to Robbie and prayed. I prayed for the first time in my life. I prayed for a man I had reluctantly found myself in love with. I prayed for my heart to still be in one piece after this horrific, reckless act was over.