My hands curled into fists and I gritted my teeth together as I took a silent step backwards.
I coughed loudly then casually strolled through the door.
Anderson lowered his face, squeezing his eyes shut hard.
“Good morning,” I chirped, making sure to avoid his eyes until he had managed to take control of his emotions. “Oooh, breakfast.”
He stared at me with wide eyes when I perched myself on the edge of his bed and pulled the table towards me.
“Smells good.”
Taking the fork I stabbed at a small amount of egg and turned to Anderson with a large smile.
His brow was puckered in confusion as his eyes shot from my face to the fork and then back again.
I placed the egg in my mouth and smiled as I chewed. “Not bad. Not as nice as mine but it’s edible.”
Then repeating the action, I this time directed the fork to Anderson. He gulped, slightly rearing back.
“Try it,” I urged with a nod. “This is yours.”
Puzzlement cast his eyes to me again. “Mine.”
I nodded. “Yours.”
At last, he very slowly opened his mouth but he never took his gaze from me, watching me closely. Smiling, I slid the fork between his lips and nodded again, encouraging him to eat. He chewed quickly, swallowing with a loud noise. I wanted to giggle but took control of myself and offered him more. He became greedy, chewing rapidly and opening his mouth for more and more.
“Slow down.” I couldn’t help but laugh a little. He reminded me of a little bird. “There’s plenty more.”
The expression on his face when he took a piece of bacon will never leave me. It’ll be one of those life moments that replay when I die, the pleasure and surprise that portrayed every bit of his delight as he chewed even faster, desperate for more. His eyes lit up like it was the tastiest morsel of food he’d ever eaten. Sadness overtook me when I realised it really was the tastiest thing he’d ever eaten.
When he’d cleaned the plate I gave him a drink of his tea through the straw placed on the tray and listened to his deep slurp.
His eyes lifted back to mine when he’d finished. He worked his mouth again, opening and closing before he said, “Thank you.”
“My pleasure. I can’t wait until you try Ben and Jerry’s.” I chuckled as I stood up and pushed the table back down to the bottom of his bed, and then added quietly, “I’ll probably have an orgasm at the face you pull then.”
I froze when a low growl came from Anderson. Fuck, he had really good hearing!
“Right,” I declared a little too enthusiastically as I spun back round to face him, embarrassment glowing across my cheeks. Then I realised he wouldn’t even know what an orgasm was and relaxed.
However, his hot green eyes bore into me and I could feel the air struggle in my lungs as it tried to rush out in a single gush. Fuck, he also knew what orgasms were if the look on his face was anything to go by.
My eyes glanced at the clock and I wondered if 9am was too early for alcohol.
Brushing myself off, angry with my train of thought, I grinned a little too much. “Are you up to talking?”
He scowled. I guessed not then. Oh well.
Taking the chair that was in the corner of the room, I pulled it a little closer towards the bed and lowered myself down. Anderson watched every move I made, his eyes assessing me.
“I know it might be difficult and frustrating to start with but soon we’ll be able to take those cuffs off you.”
His eyes dropped to where his arms were tucked down by his sides, the strong leather bindings making sure I stayed safe until we learned to trust each other better.
“I would really like you to be able to move about, Anderson. But I can’t sanction that until you can manage to calm your temper.”
He lay still, staring at me. I knew he understood what I was saying, I could see the recognition in his eyes. Once again, he looked at the cuffs and frowned.
“I understand that you’re scared, angry and confused. All this has happened so quickly for you.”
He remained silent, listening and watching.
Blowing out a breath, I tried a different tactic. “What do you like, Anderson?”
His frown deepened.
“Tell me something you like. I have no idea what makes you feel, what makes your heart beat quicker.”
He blinked and lowered his face when a sadness seeped into eyes. “Tamsin.”
“Tamsin?”
The silence around us was deafening. I watched in horror when a tear rolled from Anderson’s eye and slid down his cheek. He tried to wipe it away with his shoulder and I quickly pulled a tissue from the box and gently reached to him. He pulled in a breath and cowered away but I persisted, going slowly as I gently wiped away the tear.
“Who’s Tamsin, Anderson?”
As I moved away he pushed his face closer to my hand, resting his cheek in my palm as his eyes climbed up my neck to my face and locked onto my eyes.
“Tamsin,” he whispered. His voice was choked and so full of sadness. “Dog.”
“Was Tamsin your friend?”
I didn’t want to move in case he closed up again so I sat on the bed, allowing him to rest his face in my hand.
He nodded. “She was my dog.” Those four words were the most I’d managed out of him and I had to clamp down my emotions.
“Did Tamsin live in the basement with you?”
He nodded. “Mary… she... Mary hit her.”
Oh shit.
“Mary? Mary who lived in the house with you?”
“Yes.”
I could feel him slipping away. I was stupid. I should have stopped. I should have shut my fucking mouth. But I didn’t.
“Did Mary hurt you too, Anderson?”
His eyes widened as panic rolled over him. His head started to shake from side to side as the most horrendous sound burst from him.
“It’s okay, it’s okay,” I urged as I held on to his arms to stop him from shaking. Years of training and I made the most foolish error. I thought we’d made a connection. I thought I’d made some progress. I thought he trusted me. I was so wrong.
My body flew backwards as a tremendous pain sliced through my head and I fell onto the floor, instinctively bringing my hands up to where Anderson had just head-butted me. Tears of pain poured from my eyes as I gritted my teeth against the agony.
“Shit!” I heard Betty shout before someone stormed into the room.
Anderson cried out and I tried to get to my feet to tell them not to, but by the time my vision cleared and I lifted onto all fours, the drugs forced into Anderson’s bloodstream by none other than Vince had already worked, his tranquil sleep pushing back his nightmares.
“Shit, Kloe!”
“My own fault,” I groaned as Betty helped me into the chair.
“What the hell are you doing? You should have a chaperone!”
“I know. I just thought…”
And as if my day couldn’t get worse, Dr Krum piped up from his position by the door, “You didn’t think! And your incompetence has just put my patient back to the fucking beginning!”
I dropped my head into my hands and sighed.
Stupid!
ANDERSON WAS STARING OUT OF the window when I went back four days later. It was a bright but cool morning and I saw the amazement in his face as he watched the branches of a nearby tree move slightly in the light breeze.