“You would never know that she’s been through such an ordeal just looking at her,” I comment while placing my palm on top of Lucy’s thigh and giving it a squeeze, my way of telling her I know and that I’m a little pissed she didn’t say anything to me about her fucking battle with cancer. She’s so incredibly strong and resilient after everything she’s been through, it makes me love her even more.
Goddammit! I’ve got to quit saying that shit, even in my own head.
When Lucy’s thighs clench together under the table, tightening around my pinkie that’s wedged between them, I start to feel a whole different way about her.
Who am I fucking kidding? There’s no way I can make it another night in bed with Lucy without getting inside of her. It’s as inevitable as the sun rising tomorrow. I’m an asshole for wanting her even knowing what the future holds, or how much it will hurt her when I’m locked up and she’s filled with regret. But I need her in a way I’ve never needed anyone before. Not even Ellie.
Speaking of the bride, all of the table conversations come to a sudden halt when Butterball Barry stands up and taps his fork to his champagne glass.
“Can I have everyone’s attention for a moment?” he asks. “Ellie and I just wanted to thank you all for making the trip for our special weekend. I also want to take a few moments to tell you about the incredible woman who is about to become my wife. I didn’t believe in love at first sight, not until the day I laid eyes on Ellie.”
Beside me, Lucy flinches. I feel it under my hand and see it from the corner of my eyes, telling me how much the asshole’s comments hurt her since Lucy was still obviously with Barry when he first saw Ellie. How could the dickhead be so insensitive?
Then, as if they hadn’t hurt Lucy enough, Ellie exclaims, “Oh my gosh!” grabbing everyone’s attention because apparently, she hasn’t had enough as the bride.
“What is it?” Barry asks, kneeling beside her frantically in concern, so wrapped around her finger it’s pathetic. “What’s wrong?”
“The baby kicks so hard when he hears you talk,” she says, taking his hand and placing it on her stomach. “Feel him?”
“Wow. That never gets old,” Barry says to the crowd before giving Ellie a kiss on the cheek. “I may have to keep you knocked up all the time,” he adds, making everyone chuckle. Well, everyone except for me and Lucy. The girl hasn’t moved or breathed in so long, I lean over and ask, “Are you okay?”
She shakes her head before pushing her chair back and muttering, “Excuse me,” to the table like anyone is paying attention to her, and then she makes a run for the door.
“Lucy, wait up!” I call out, but she doesn’t slow down as I jump to my feet to follow her.
It’s a good thing she’s short. My long legs catch up quick enough to see a streak of red head out the resort’s back-patio doors and into the night.
When I slip out, I find her standing against the furthest wall overlooking the harbor, with her face buried in her arms that are resting on top of the bricks, her shoulders shaking as she cries.
“Fuck, baby,” I say softly at the sight of her in pain.
When I come to stop beside of her, rubbing my hand over her bare shoulders and upper back, I hear her say through her sobs, “I hate them! I hate that they have everything…everything I wanted!”
Lifting her head, she spins around to face me. My heart breaks at seeing the tears shining on her cheeks. “This whole time I’ve been blaming Ellie, but really, Barry is the one I’m angry with. He told me he loved me for years. Then, tonight, he talks about how it was love at first sight with her, while we were still together! Was he lying to me, or was it never real? I don’t know what happened, and it’s so infuriating! It’s like I was only good enough until someone better came along.”
“He’s a dick,” I tell her, reaching up to wipe away her tears with my thumb, unable to look at them a second longer. “And Ellie is not better than you. Her beauty is only skin deep, and it will fade over time. Yours is the kind that lasts a lifetime.”
My words meant to console have Lucy crying into her hands.
Wrapping my arms around her, I pull her close, resting my chin on top of her head as I hold her. “Can’t you see how fucking fake they are?” I ask. “None of that back there is genuine. It’s an act. A performance. Deep down, they know that and are miserable. That’s all they’ll ever be,” I assure her. “But you and me? That’s real. We are as authentic as it gets. You’re a firecracker. More hyper than a pixie on speed sometimes. And sneaky as shit with your secrets and hacker magic. But you’re also unbelievably sweet, smart as hell, and so fucking strong and beautiful that I can’t stop myself from falling for you no matter how hard I try.”
Lucy
* * *
Just when I thought nothing could make the ache that’s bone deep inside of me stop hurting, Nash had to come along and hold me, saying all the right things, making me desperate to keep him even though I know I can’t.
He’s right. We may be real, but we’re also just temporary.
No matter how difficult it will be to lose him, I want him. I just wish he could open up to me and tell me the truth about everything that’s going on.
Still, when his hand on my back reaches up and grips the back of my neck in a tight grip, holding me in place, I welcome his mouth when it crashes down on mine. Like our very first kiss, this one isn’t gentle. It’s brutal, forceful even as Nash’s tongue demands entry. I eagerly open for him, wanting more.
If I didn’t believe before that Nash had been celibate for the past three years, I do now as he attacks me ravenously with no intentions of stopping until he gets what he needs. Within seconds of our kiss, he’s reaching for my bottom and pulling me up his body so that my legs are around his waist, a move that instantly hikes my dress up around my hips. It’s a natural instinct to press down on his lap, searching for his hard length that I quickly find and grind against. Nash swallows my moan while I inhale his deep, throaty groan as he lengthens and hardens even more against my core.
His hands cup both of my ass cheeks, squeezing hard before his fingers on his right hand relax enough to stroke my flesh since I’m not wearing any panties. They tease me until they find my folds and prod my wet entrance.
Nash’s lips finally leave mine when I whimper at the intrusion.
“Fuck, Lucy,” he grunts as his lips and tongue move down my throat to the tops of my breasts while his finger pumps in and out of me. “Let me have you, just once. Please, baby,” he whispers against my collar bone.
“J-just once?” I repeat disappointedly, because I already want more and we’ve barely gotten started. All I’ve had is his mouth on me, but I want all of him inside me, over and over again.
“Just once. I need to be inside of you so fucking bad it hurts.”
That’s such a relief to hear that my body physically relaxes, letting Nash’s two fingers easily slide deeper before I clench around them again, making him curse.
“Just tonight,” I counter as I reach down between our bodies to squeeze his shaft through his pants before I get to work unzipping them to pull his steely length free and put it where I need it. I don’t care where we are or who may see. I need this. I need him.