It was certainly a first, and it had me more on edge than ever.
Mom sagged against the counter, releasing a heavy sigh. “He doesn’t make it easy, does he?” Sadness washed over her features and I hated him a little bit more for making her feel bad.
“He’s… Jason.” I sipped my juice.
“I know, I know. He’s under a lot of pressure with the team and college. But I thought… I hoped maybe with the wedding and it being senior year and all, he would—”
“Mom.” Placing my glass on the counter, I went to her, taking her hands in mine. “Don’t let him get to you.”
“He’s just different when Kent is around.”
Yeah, because Kent was a buffer, absorbing some of his son’s hostility toward me and Mom. And he always had an excuse for Jason’s unwillingness to attend family meals or trips. ‘He needs to focus on football’, Kent would say, ‘He’s under a lot of pressure’. But Mom wasn’t an idiot. Jason hated her almost as much as he hated me.
There had been a time when I’d wondered if Jason hated me because of her. I’d thought perhaps he was just an angry twelve-year-old, pissed his dad was trying to replace his mom. But we weren’t kids anymore and Jason never did warm to Mom. And he’d only grown colder with me. Besides, from what I’d heard, Mr. and Mrs. Ford’s relationship broke down long before Mom and I ever came on the scene. Mom had been a struggling single parent and Kent had been picking up the pieces of his life when they met, and while I hadn’t been excited about the prospect of getting a new family, after what Dad did to us—to Mom—I only wanted her to be happy.
Even if she’d chosen an ex-college football player who coached junior high football, with a son who breathed football like it was air. But at least Kent didn’t play anymore. That would have been too much to bear.
We hugged it out, and Mom pasted on her best smile. “Maybe he just needs some time to get used to it?”
“Maybe.” I doubted it, he’d had years to get used to them being together before the wedding, but I didn’t want to burst her bubble. “I have to go, Flick’s waiting.”
“Have a good day, baby.” She kissed my head, and I grabbed my bag, before slipping into the hall, my stomach knotting tighter with every step.
Once she found a parking spot, Flick cut the engine and turned to me. “Okay,” she inhaled deeply. “You can do this.”
“Do what?”
“Go in there with your head held high, of course.”
“Right,” I replied, confused. “Was there another option?”
“Well, I was prepared to add another thing to my list.”
“You were?”
“Yeah.” Mischief sparkled in her eyes. “I don’t want to end up in the pen, but I’d do it, for you.”
“In the pen?” I smothered the laughter building in my chest.
“Ride or die, baby.” Flick waggled her brows. “I’m serious though, if you want to get payback, I’m in. So in. What Cameron did was—”
“I don’t want payback,” I said, my voice trailing off.
My best friend jerked back, eyes wide with surprise. “I’m sorry, I think I heard you wrong because it sounded a lot like you said, you don’t want payback.”
Shrugging, I said, “I don’t. I’m done.”
“Did something else happen?” She frowned. “Something you didn’t—”
“You were right. It’s gone too far and if I don’t walk away, I’ll be the one who ends up hurt. I can’t play their games anymore. I’m done.”
Something had changed when Cameron kissed me, not that I’d ever admit it to anyone. For a split-second, I’d actually thought he wanted me. His kiss was too intense. His touch too desperate. And I’d almost fallen for it; hook, line, and sinker.
But now, I realized it was all part of the game.
A game that, until the moment his lips fixed against mine, I’d always been more than willing to play. I’d even considered myself a worthy opponent. The girl who refused to let the Raiders trample all over her. But something was different this semester.
Cameron had gone after the one thing I’d always protected.
My emotions.
He’d made me feel something. Things I didn’t want to feel. The rules had changed, and deep down, I knew if I kept playing the game, my reputation and sanity wouldn’t be the only thing on the line.
“Wow, Hailee Raine, could it be that you’ve finally matured?”
“Piss off.” I swatted her arm. “I just have more important things to focus on.”
“You mean like helping me with my list?” She looked so smug, and I muttered indignantly under my breath. “You owe me, remember?” Flick added, giving me her best puppy-dog eyes.
As we climbed out of her Beetle, and made our way into school, I couldn’t help but think I’d traded one form of torture for another.
“It’s like you’re invisible,” Flick whispered on Thursday as we sat in our usual place in the cafeteria.
“Good,” I mumbled around a mouthful of taco.
“Yeah, but I mean, it’s weird, right?” Her eyes flicked over my shoulder and I knew she was watching the football table. “After last Friday I kind of expected you to get some backlash.”
“Paul Rankle asked me if I do three-ways, and Finley Palmer asked me if I wanted to ride his dick in gym. I think that’s backlash enough.” There had been other things throughout the week: notes in English, and a couple of ‘offers’ at lunch, and every time I walked into class the room fell into hushed silence. But on the whole, no one said anything about Friday. I knew it didn’t mean people weren’t talking about it behind closed doors; they just didn’t want to risk pissing off their beloved football captain.
“I guess,” she said. “And I saw some stuff in the girls’ bathroom—”
“You did?” My eyes widened. “Of course, you did.” I let out an exasperated breath. Everyone knew girls were a cut above when it came to tearing into one of their own. Guys might have been the ones breaking hearts around here, but girls were the ones ruining reputations.
“It was probably Khloe and her bitch squad. You know she doesn’t like the idea anyone else is ‘riding Raiders for fun’.” She air quoted the last words and I chuckled.
“Khloe is welcome to them.” I discreetly glanced over my shoulder. Jenna Jarvis was draped over Jason like a bad rash while the rest of the gym team sat in amongst the team. My gaze ran straight over Cameron and the brunette cuddled up to him, and back to my friend. “Although it looks like the cheer squad is out and the gym team is in.”
“Well, those girls are extra bendy.” Flick mocked, and my face screwed up.
“There’s a visual I don’t need while I’m eating lunch.”
“So, about the game tomorrow—”
“Not this again, Flick. I already told you, I’m not going.” Attending a pep rally was one thing, but a football game? After last Friday, I couldn’t think of anything worse.