I didn’t know anything anymore.
“A brain tumor?” She paled. “Cameron, I’m so sorry.” Throwing her arms around me, Hailee pulled me into her embrace, and I went. I went so fucking easily I knew if anyone could see me they would think ‘what a pussy’. But I didn’t care. Ever since sitting opposite Mom and Dad five nights ago, as they tried to explain to me what was happening, I’d been walking around in a daze. Unable to process the truth, my new reality.
Mom wasn’t depressed, she had a tumor. For four years, we’d watch her lose herself to the mood swings, the highs and lows, and crippling lethargy. But it wasn’t her mind at all. It was some invader, a four-inch tumor compressing her frontal lobe.
Hailee’s hands rubbed my back as I clung to her, fighting the tears that had been stuck in my throat since Saturday. “Cameron,” her voice was quiet. “Look at me.” She gently pushed me away, holding me at arm’s length. “I’m here. Tell me what you need. Tell me what I can do.”
The relief was immediate, crashing over me like an unstoppable tidal wave. All week I’d wanted to talk to Hailee, to confide in her. To just be with her. It had been like wading through quicksand every day being pulled further and further under, threatening to be drowned in my anger and grief and confusion.
I shouldn’t have been at school and I definitely shouldn’t have been on that football field tonight. But Mom and Dad had made me promise I would carry on as normal.
Normal.
That was a fucking joke if I ever heard one.
They wanted me to be strong, to carry the burden and not crumple. But I wasn’t strong; I was breaking at the seams. Slowly coming undone. And wrapped in the arms of the girl who had owned my heart for longer than I cared to admit, I finally let myself fall apart.
“Be with me, Hailee,” I choked out the words from a throat that was raw from all the tears I’d cried. “Just be with me.”
“I can do that.” She gave me an uncertain smile, but it was enough.
In that moment, it was everything.
With no more words, I stood up, pulling Hailee with me and led her up to my room. Mom and Dad were on a rare night out. Doctor Kravis had arranged her surgery for next week, so Dad was insistent they spend some time together. Just in case.
Just in case.
Fuck.
“Cameron?” Hailee asked, as I froze up.
“Sorry, I’m—”
“Hey, it’s okay.” She squeezed my hand before moving ahead of me, pulling me gently toward my room. When we reached the door, Hailee didn’t hesitate to go inside. The air was thick around us, the events of the last couple of weeks weighing heavily on us both.
“Cameron,” she said releasing my hand and turning to me. “I—”
“Come here.” I snagged her hand, tugging her into me until I was staring down into her honey-brown eyes which glittered with nothing but compassion and understanding. “You have no idea what you being here means to me.”
“I went to the locker room,” she admitted. “Right after you left the field. I went to find you. But you’d already left.”
“I needed space. When that blocker tackled me, it was like everything slammed into me. Mom. This thing with you and Thatcher. Xander. It sounds dumb but my life flashed before my eyes and I...” I swallowed. It sounded crazy. But Hailee didn’t look freaked out.
Not even a little bit.
“It’s not dumb,” she said. “You were hurt and given the circumstances... it’s understandable, Cameron. You’re under a lot of pressure and—”
“But that’s just it.” I ran a brisk hand over my head. “I’m under pressure because of football, because of the team. Even with everything that’s going on, my mom and dad were so insistent I keep playing, that I go on like nothing has changed when, really, everything has changed. My mom needs surgery, she could...” Pain overwhelmed me and my eyes shuttered. Hailee’s fingers twisted into my polo shirt as she leaned closer.
“Die,” I forced out the word. “She could die, Hailee.” My head dropped to hers, the weight of the truth almost breaking me.
“I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry,” she repeated over and over, her face brushing mine as she gently kissed the corner of my mouth. She couldn’t fix this, no one could. We had to hand that responsibility over to the doctors at Rixon General and hope to God—pray—they could remove the tumor and give us back Mom in one piece.
I didn’t realize I was crying again until Hailee kissed my cheeks. Fuck, I didn’t cry. I was Cameron Chase, one of the best wide receivers in the state. I went up against some of the biggest, toughest defensive players in the country. But Hailee understood; on some level she got it. And I hadn’t realized how badly I needed someone until this moment.
“Ssh,” she whispered, her voice a gentle caress. “I’m here, Cameron. I’m right here.” Hailee traced my lips with her fingers, chasing them with her mouth until we were kissing. Small uncertain kisses. My hands slid into her hair so I could tilt her face, deepening the kiss, sliding my tongue against hers, needing to be closer.
Needing more.
She kissed me fiercely, demanding the same back, pulling me closer, fitting our bodies together until we were a tangle of kisses and limbs, sighs and touches. I still felt hollow, the agony of what was to come heavy in the pit of my stomach, but Hailee filled some of the void. Each stroke of her tongue a patch on the hole in my heart; each touch of her lips a band aid for my grief.
“Is this okay?” she murmured against my lips, her hands dipping under my t-shirt and running over my warm skin. I nodded, too worked up to talk. I needed this.
I needed her.
More than I would have ever thought possible.
Hailee painted lazy patterns over my skin, taking her time to trace my abs. It was like the first time touching her again; my head clouded with too many emotions, too many thoughts. My body wanted her, my dick straining painfully against my jeans, but she deserved me to be one hundred percent in the moment. “Hailee, wait...” I couldn’t believe I was saying the words.
She eased back, staring up at me, and her expression softened. “It’s okay.”
Taking my hand in hers, she tugged me over to the bed and shoved me down gently. I landed with a thud, falling back on my elbows. Hailee stripped slowly out of her clothes. Her sweater went first, revealing an expanse of creamy skin, followed by her jeans.
“Fuck, you’re beautiful,” I whispered, tracing my eyes over every inch of her. She dropped to her knees and reached for the button of my jeans, before tugging them down my legs, nudging me to lift my feet so she could remove them completely.
My eyes drank her in, the soft curve of her lips, the flush to her skin, as she realized I was commando.
“Do you have a condom?” she asked, and I nodded to the nightstand, my throat dry and my skin hot. Hailee got up and went over to the drawer, retrieving a foil packet, while I yanked off my t-shirt. Then she unhooked her bra and let it drop to the floor, before slipping her fingers into her panties and pushing them over her hips.
“Come here,” I said, unable to disguise the sheer lust in my voice. She came willingly, climbing over my legs so she was straddling me. With one hand pressed into the small of her back, I buried the other one deep in her hair, angling her face to mine as I captured her lips. Hot, wet, desperate kisses. Hailee moaned my name and my dick twitched. I wanted to worship her, to spend my time acquainting myself with every dip and curve of her amazing body. But I couldn’t wait. Not tonight. Not now.