“Before we move forward I would like to ask one thing. So far, I know your concerns regarding our age difference. Apart from that, is there anything that you would like to share?”
“Like…?” I am puzzled.
“Like…if you are in a relationship and doing this to make your parents happy?” he asks. “Don’t take me wrong. I am only asking because I wouldn’t intentionally stand between you and your choices.”
Oh… My heart melts. Raag is so caring. Do they still make men like him? How can one be so thoughtful and considerate of a stranger whom he has just talked with for not even fifteen minutes?
I like him.
“Mayuri? Are you still there?” His voice is gloomy. Impatient even.
“Yes. Have you seen my father?” I ask a question instead of answering his.
“No.” Raag sounds puzzled.
“He will kill me if I tell him that I have boys in my friend group,” I say, making my annoyance obvious.
“I haven’t met your father. However, I would like to see him now that I am aware of his skills.” He chuckles.
Did I not notice any other guy’s chuckles before? I sure notice his, and for the first time in my life, I hear my own heartbeats.
“I’m not saying that I don’t have boys in my college group,” I confess, and he chuckles. Relationships should have no secrets.
I hear a voice from within. I thought you wanted to reject him—now you’re talking about relationships. Wow. Where are we going with this? Honestly, I wish I had an answer.
“So, do you have a girlfriend and are calling me to make your mother happy?” I ask in an attempt to sound smart.
And you want his answer to be no.
“To be frank, I’m doing this to make my maa happy.”
Raag doesn’t hesitate even the slightest, and my heart sinks. So much excitement—pumping heartbeats, goosebumps, and the gush—for so little.
I shouldn’t have let myself get carried away, I realize. I was a sane and realistic person before this call, but that’s all changed.
Although our conversation is short, the depths of it are otherworldly. My heart has sensed a connection with somebody who genuinely cares, somebody who understands, and somebody who is ready to make things easier for me, to be there for me.
CHAPTER 2
Upside Down
Looking at the saptarishi in the cold dark sky, inwardly I sigh. Maybe Raag is already in a relationship. Perhaps he has a girlfriend. That thought makes me uncomfortable. Why? Though I know it’s absurd; it’s a new feeling. Why would Raag talk to me just to make his mother happy anyway?
“But I don’t have a girlfriend,” Raag continues in his husky tone.
A quiver of relief runs through my core, and I take a deep breath. I wave a fist in the air like a sports player after winning a victory point. Yes! I feel like a high school girl discovering that her favorite movie star is not married. I can’t believe I am grinning and notice Uncle Chaddha staring at me, resting his elbows on the railing of his balcony. I frown. God! I strut away in the opposite direction.
Raag breaks my chain of thoughts. “I thought you would figure it out by now. We wouldn’t be having this conversation if I had one. That would’ve been unfair to you.”
He has a point. I frown, looking up at the saptarishi.
“Um…maybe I should have known,” I murmur. Of course, as I slowly grasp Raag’s high thinking, I should have figured that based on the kind of idealistic character he is showing, he wouldn’t do such a thing.
“Well, why did you ask me if I had a boyfriend?” I ask. “Do you think a girl would talk to you just to make her parents happy?”
“Well, as a society, as much as we like to think of ourselves as progressive and forward-thinking, we are still a little behind when it comes to freedom for women,” Raag explains. “My mother and I wouldn’t know if a girl’s family forced her into an arranged marriage even if she had a boyfriend.” He breathes. “Then, there is also a possibility that a girl wouldn’t have disclosed such a thing to the family simply by being afraid of the consequences.” Raag’s voice is subtle, and his thoughts are clear.
What he said is the sheer truth, and it happens quite frequently around us more than we think.
“That is very considerate and thoughtful. I haven’t met anyone quite like you before,” I murmur.
“You haven’t met me either!” Raag corrects, making me smile. “I would like to meet you someday, though.”
His statement makes me swoon in sheer delight.
“Um…same here.”
There is silence on the line for a moment or two. I think we both are wondering about meeting each other, someday, some time.
Then Raag breaks the silence. “To answer your earlier question, the reason I am doing this is that my maa wants me to get married. She started looking for suitable girls for me, and if I got married, that would make her very happy. She thinks it’s the right age. I partially agree with her.”
“Partially?” I ask.
As I walk back, reaching the other end of the balcony, I see the black ghost, Uncle Chaddha, staring at me. Frightening. God, please give him some sleep!
“I think a few more years wouldn’t hurt,” Raag says. “But Maa for some reason thinks that I’m alone. That I should have someone with me.”
“So, you are at least interested in marriage,” I remark. “Maybe after a few years.”
“Ha! You caught that!” he says, and I smile. I realize that he has a bit of an accent and I sort of like that.
“I think your mother is not wrong. It must get lonely to have no family around in a foreign country,” I muse, looking at the blinking stars.
Though the stars appear as groups into the galaxies, and myriad in quantity, individually, they are still solo, far away from each other. Never getting too close. Don’t they ever get lonely?
“It does get lonely, sometimes,” Raag says as if answering my unspoken questions for the stars. He sounds lost in thought.
“Hmm…” I reply, and silence stretches between us. I feel the need to fill it, and so I ask, “Are you talking with other girls?” Now, that was the question to regret. That’s super inquisitive.
I turn to find Uncle Chaddha still staring. I tap my knuckle on my forehead in disappointment. Nosy!
“I did talk to a couple of girls before this call. Last month,” Raag replies.
However, that answer doesn’t please me either. Maybe I’m a little agitated. Raag for sure had and has every right to talk to any girl he wants. It’s not like you own him because you blessed everyone by agreeing to speak with him.
“Did you like any of them?” I try to sound as indifferent as I can and again tap my knuckle on my forehead in embarrassment.
Why do I have to ask such stupid questions? Oh, God! Please stop me.
“Not so far.” Raag is straightforward in his answer. His unambiguous attitude is impressive. “Mayuri, what are your plans after graduation?” he asks.
I am happy that he puts an end to my series of ridiculous questions. It’s a different thing that I don’t have any plans. I try to answer by sharing an unspoken, undiscussed thought. “I want to try an MBA—Master of Business Administration.” This would make my parents very, very angry. It’s still not the right time to disclose my plans for changing my career choice with my parents, for my father might suffer a coronary, and my mother might suffer a stroke. Bad idea.