He shakes his head. “Oh, I’m sorry. I’m sworn to secrecy.”
“Have…have we met before?” I ask, suddenly remembering the dried rose in my stash. Maybe it’s from this flower shop. Maybe this is not a secret haven but a spot I’ve been to before.
The man laughs. “I really am sworn to secrecy.” Then he pretends to lock his lips and throw away the key.
I sigh. “Okay…well, thank you…have a good night,” I say.
I turn to leave, and it’s only when I’m halfway out the door that I realize a piece of paper is wrapped around the flower. I carefully peel it off the stem until I hold it out in my gloved hand.
It’s another paper heart, with watercolor on both sides.
My hands begin to tremble as I read the message.
Dear Ella,
Call this a puzzle, a scavenger hunt, whatever you want. You’ll be receiving 11 paper hearts total so you can take back the weeks you’ve lost. I’m going to take you to all the places you went to before Valentine’s Day last year that you can’t remember. All you need to do is follow these paper hearts to lead you back to your own.
Love,
Your Admirer
I stand there trying to process everything, but my body feels numb and I know it’s not just from the cold. The paper heart. The rose. My apparent admirer. I feel a mixture of emotions. I’m flattered, excited, and confused all at once. What is happening? my brain screams.
I flip over the paper heart and there’s more writing on the back.
Your favorite place to get lost.
F 823.7 AUS
I blink at the piece of paper until my eyeballs feel like they’re about to freeze. Where have I seen that number before? Then suddenly the second part of the letter plows into me: F 823.7 AUS. All the books I ever get from the library have numbers like that on their spines.
That must be where I need to go next.
Chapter 6
I don’t tell Steve or my sister about the paper heart when I get back to the car. The only thing I tell them is the new plan: I will not be going to the game after all.
“Just take me to the library,” I continue as we’re driving again. “Once you’re done at the diner, or wherever you’re actually going, come get me.”
Steve smirks at the second part, so I know I must be right.
“But the library closes in like twenty minutes,” Ashley argues. “And you know I can’t go to the diner without you.”
“I won’t tell Mom I’m not going. Only if you take me to the library. Once it closes, I’ll go read at the café next door. They’re open late.”
I feel my phone buzzing and I know it’s my friends again. I’ve already told Pete I was going, and he’ll read my text after the game. But I can’t go—not now.
Could I be crazy? Yes. Even so, I was only going to the diner in the first place for answers….Now I might actually be able to find them. I just have this feeling that the things in my room have to do with this too. I feel the paper heart tucked into my coat pocket.
Your admirer, I think over and over again, like a song on repeat.
I have no idea who it could be, but it seems like it could be whoever gave me the rose and Polaroid photo. Maybe they will reveal themselves in the end.
Or maybe it’s Carmen. She’s always the one trying to push me out of my comfort zone. Maybe she got so tired of me living like a shell of myself that she’s taking matters into her own hands. But that still wouldn’t explain the things in my room.
Whoever my admirer is, this urgent feeling comes back to me like it’s now or never. Ashley must see it in my eyes, because she sighs. “Fine. But you have to text me if you want us to come get you earlier.”
Steve shoots her a look like he hasn’t agreed to that.
“I’ll be fine,” I say.
“I know you’ll be fine,” Ashley says. “But you’re my sister. I have to look out for you.”
“She’s going to the library,” Steve mutters under his breath. He opens his mouth like he’s going to say something else, but he looks over at Ashley, who has her arms crossed. He catches one glimpse of her glaring at him and closes his mouth.
We sit in silence, the tension thick. I try to look at my sister in the rearview mirror. Her mouth is turned upside down. A lot of times when people frown their face looks nothing like a frowning emoji. But not my sister. Her lips form the distinct shape of a rainbow. As we pull into the parking lot, she brushes her eye, and I can’t tell if she just wiped away a tear.
“Thanks for the ride,” I say as Steve comes to a stop in front of the entrance.
“Don’t mention it,” he says. Ashley turns to me and gives me a small smile. There are no tears in her eyes. Maybe I imagined them.
I slide out of the car, ignoring the fact that my phone is still blowing up, and head straight to the library, because nothing else matters right now aside from this paper heart.
Until I see a boy through the window.
Chapter 7
Carmen would say he looks nerdy, but I think he’s cute. He’s tall and lean and wearing headphones, jeans, and a zip-up hoodie that I’d love to steal. His hair is in the middle of messy and neat. He’s mouthing the words to a song as he scans the books on the front desk, like Rosemary normally does. She’s the librarian who has been giving me book recommendations for years. Who is this Library Boy?
He looks about my age, but I don’t recognize him. That doesn’t mean he doesn’t go to my high school, though. I didn’t recognize half of the names of people who sent me flowers and letters in the hospital. That’s what happens when you think you know everyone, but in reality you only know the people your friends want to associate with. Maybe I should know who this guy is. But what is he doing scanning bar codes on a Friday night? Doesn’t he have something better to do?
That last thought is a little judgmental, I realize. After all, I’m at the library too.
You have a mission, though, I remind myself.
I push open the door, and he doesn’t hear me walk in. He continues scanning the books and putting them into a pile on a cart in front of him, probably for reshelving before they close. I immediately see why he’s listening to music: nobody is here but the two of us. Libraries are always quiet, but there’s usually at least one person shuffling around or dropping something. The only sound now is the faint music coming from this boy’s headphones that gets louder as I approach him.