He cringed at my candidness.
“Macie’s your kid, Baine.”
“I know. Trust me I know, when I thought she was yours I asked who in their right mind thought you’d be a dad, but honestly, who the hell actually believes I can be a decent father. I mean I had such great role models. One prioritized everything ahead of me and the other literally turned his back on me and kicked me out of the Clan. I don’t know shit about being a dad and we both know it.”
I didn’t know what possessed me to unload on Killian. I was supposed to hate him, wasn’t I? Something about seeing him humbled made me remember the man was once like a brother to me. I hadn’t meant to get all nostalgic and start pouring out my feelings. I didn’t do that shit, ever.
Instead of gloating over admission, he gave me a sympathetic look and then smiled. “I can’t believe I’m saying this, but you’re already prioritizing Macie above everything else, even a carnal need to bond with your mate. I guess maybe there’s hope for you after all, because that’s the sign of a great father.”
He clapped me on my back and walked away as I turned to walk into the Inn. My head was swimming from the interaction.
When I got inside, I realized everyone was waiting on me, but I felt no hostility or urgency. The guys smiles fell from their faces.
“You didn’t seal it?” Tarron blurted out.
“Uh, not yet,” I admitted.
Painter rolled his eyes.
Ben laughed.
Grant shook his head. “What are you waiting on?”
“I don’t know. Last night was more just us catching up.” There was no doubt in my mind they knew what I was talking about but hell if I was going to go into details.
“What are you waiting on?” Taylor asked.
I gave her a deadpan look. “Like any of you did any better while mating. I’m fine.”
“Uh oh. Baine’s never actually fine when he says that,” Tarron told the guy next to him. I was certain I’d never seen him before.
I lifted my chin to him. “I’m Baine. Who the hell are you?”
He offered me his hand. “Jake.”
“Should I know who he is?” I asked Silas.
He just frowned and shook his head. “Jake is Ben’s guy. We’re briefing him before we send him in.
“Oh. Yeah, well, welcome. Thanks for doing this, man.”
“Looking forward to it. Ben’s brought me up to speed enough to know I’m going to look forward to taking these assholes down.”
I liked the kid already.
“We like to joke Jake’s real animal spirit is the chameleon. Kid can blend in anywhere. No offense, T, but he’s the best I’ve ever seen.”
“I’m feeling challenged. Perhaps we’ll get a chance to work undercover together sometime.”
“I’d love that. Whatever you guys need. I’m in,” Jake said.
Silas groaned. “He had a lot of questions so we’ve already been filtering them while you took your sweet time getting here.”
“Sorry about that. Ran into Killian on the way over.”
Silas stiffened and grunted. That was never a good sign.
“It’s cool. Really.” I was quick to reassure him. “He even apologized for everything that happened and not just yesterday.”
“That’s great, Baine. I’m glad to hear it,” Tarron said. He looked a little anxious, fidgety, which was out of character for him.
“What’s the bet?”
“What do you mean?”
“Don’t give me that shit. I can tell you’re nervous. That means you’re about to lose a big one. What’s the call and what are we up to?”
Jake laughed and I turned my glare on him. “Bet’s over whether you’re staying or going home with the team when the time comes.”
I had an uneasy feeling. Would I stay? I couldn’t imagine leaving the Force. They were every bit as much family to me as Olivia and Macie. But if my girls refused to leave, then what? As the male, my bear was more dominate and could force the issue. No one would begrudge me that. It was commonplace for the male to take his female back to his Clan, but I knew that would upset Olivia. Plus, we had to think about Macie.
Olivia had been a single mother the last seven years. If I were being honest, I didn’t feel like I deserved a say in the matter. I knew what I wanted, but that self-deprecating side of me kept reminding me I didn’t deserve to be happy. I didn’t deserve them.
“No comeback?” Tarron asked. His face blanched and I think he knew it was a possibility, though I appreciated him voting in my favor.
“Enough games, boys. Let’s get this briefing over so we can get out of here for a while,” Silas said calling the team back to order and taking the pressure off of me.
“Wait, we’re going somewhere?”
“Yeah, just back down to drop off Jake. We’ll be running surveillance for a few days, and with any luck we’ll get our chance to break Pike out and get him home too,” Tarron filled me in.
“All of us?” I asked Silas.
He nodded. “Afraid so. Hoped you’d have sealed that thing by now to make it a little easier at least.” He gave me a sympathetic look, as if he had any clue what I was going through.
“When?” I asked dryly.
“We need to be on the road by five. I’ve already pushed it back as far as I can for you. We need you on this just in case things go south.”
I clenched my jaw and nodded. “How long is this going to take?”
“We’ve got this. I just wanted to tell you in person. Get back to your girl, but five sharp we leave with or without you.”
I knew what that meant. He didn’t even have to say it. If I wasn’t in that car at five, he was going to make the decision to stay or return home with the team for me. I looked down at my watch.
“Thanks. Appreciate it.”
“Five,” Tarron said.
I could tell that my reluctance to reassure them that my mating wasn’t going to affect my place on the team was unsettling for him. I felt bad for my friend, but I couldn’t give him false pretense when I didn’t know what was going to happen. I couldn’t predict the future or what I would agree to in order to keep my family. I’d never had anyone but these guys counting on me before but I couldn’t let Olivia and Macie down.
Knowing I only had a short time, I turned to leave. My hand stilled on the door as I looked back at my unit. It pained me to say it, but I knew I had to. It wasn’t safe for any of us to have them worrying about me. “I’ll be there.”
I didn’t know what would happen in the days, weeks, months, or even years to come, but today wasn’t going to be the day I let them down.
I didn’t go back to the house, instead, I walked straight to the school. I knew Macie had already missed too much school with me here, but I only had a few hours and didn’t want to waste any time.
Olivia
Chapter 18
My phone rang just as I was stepping into the shower. I sighed when I saw it was the school.
“Hello?”
“Olivia? It’s Carolyn.”