“Stop it.”
I stared at her.
“Baine Landry, I know you better than I know anyone. You’ve always been hardest on yourself, judging yourself, convinced you can’t meet anyone else’s standards so why even try.”
I gulped, feeling far too vulnerable. “This week hasn’t been perfect, but we’re trying. There’s a reason I asked for a trial. Being a parent is hard work. I’ve had seven years and I still screw it up every single day.”
“I’m trying, O.”
She smiled. “You’re doing great.” She reached across the table and squeezed my hand. “Macie and I aren’t going anywhere. For better or worse, we’re here. Being the only bears in a pack of wolves isn’t going to be easy, but it’s so much better than I imagined it would be. We’re going to be okay, but I feel like you’re freaking out.”
“Maybe because I am. I don’t know if I can do this, O.”
She smiled and relaxed. “I know, but I also know you absolutely can. Routines are important for Macie. She does better with them. That’s a trial and error thing I learned early on. I may have been working a little too hard to find a new normal for us here these last few days. I can feel when you start to pull away. Even when you’re here, you’re not really here.”
“I’m so sorry.”
“No, I’m sorry. I know you and I know how you are. You thrive on skirting the rules, not following them.”
I snorted. She was right.
“I’m sorry I freaked out about the Jeep. I did some research on that roll cage you have installed and you were right. I should have trusted you on that. I promise I won’t mention selling it again.”
“Thank you.”
“But I also know this isn’t really about the Jeep, is it?”
I closed my eyes and thought about all the things I wanted to tell her and how to go about it without hurting her feelings.
“You know I love you. I’ve always loved you. Always will. I love that smartass little motormouth too. I can’t imagine my life without the two of you.”
“But…”
I took a deep breath. “But, I feel like I’m drowning already and it’s only been a few days.”
“We’re in a bit of shock with it all too, you know.”
“You are?”
“Yeah. I thought I was ready, but once we got here, I wasn’t exactly accepting of this place. I’ll admit, these Westin women make it super hard not to feel welcome though.”
I laughed. I knew she had freaked out when I explained about Kelsey. I also knew that she would grow to love the Pack Mother quickly.
Olivia rolled her eyes. “We haven’t had even a second of truly being alone since we got on that plane. You’ve been keeping things extremely PG at night and I was wondering why until I spoke with Resa.”
“Resa?”
“Yeah. She moved into the house. Needed to get away from Felix and I like knowing someone’s looking after the place. She found the dampener. You left it in my bedroom.”
I nodded.
Olivia reached down and took something out of a box on the floor next to her. She held up the dampener and I laughed.
“Had her overnight it. No more kid friendly afterhours, deal?”
“God yes!”
I wanted to throw her on the table and ravish her right there knowing Macie wasn’t home.
She held a hand up sensing the shift in my mood. “Baine, I need to be able to count on you to be here, not just your physical presence, but truly here and present.”
“I stopped by to see Cole on the way home. I was going to grab a couple of beers and check out for a bit. I’ve never particularly enjoyed being alone, but I’m also learning that I don’t particularly enjoy never having some alone time either.”
I expected her to be angry, but she just nodded. “We can work with that.”
“But I do want to be here. I don’t want to be an absent father the way mine was.”
“Baine, it doesn’t have to be one way or the other. Parenting is hard and you’re diving right in. Balancing that responsibility takes time. We’re going to stumble through it. We’ll probably fall more than once, but if we do this together, we can’t fail her. There’s nothing selfish about wanting a break or some time to yourself. There are times when I’m going to need that too.”
“You will?”
“Yes. I’m not perfect no matter how delusional you are to think it.”
“Blasphemy,” I whispered as I leaned in and kissed her.
“Stay on track and focus.”
“You’re naked. Trust me I’m focused.”
She laughed. “We haven’t finished talking.”
“We have the house to ourselves. I don’t want to talk.”
“We haven’t even eaten yet.”
My eyes darkened. “I’m definitely ready to eat.”
Olivia squealed when I lifted her from the chair and carried her back to the bedroom.
I plopped her down on the bed unceremoniously and quickly stripped out of my own clothes. She giggled when I started at her toes and kissed my way up her legs. She stopped me before I reached the apex though.
I frowned as I looked up into her eyes.
“Promise me when self-doubt trickles in from now on that you’ll talk to me.”
I hated that she knew me so well. It made me humble and I wasn’t a humble person by nature.
I sighed, feeling the change between us as she struck the chord that had been gnawing at me all day.
She cradled my face in her hands. “I know I can get a little particular when it comes to Macie and her safety. I can’t help it, that’s the mama bear in me. But you, Baine, you are the best man I know and so worthy of love. I need you to understand that Macie and I aren’t going anywhere. We’re here to stay. We may drive each other crazy at times, but I’m not going anywhere. I love you.”
Somehow Olivia seemed to know exactly what I needed, and my chest hurt, feeling like my heart would explode. I crawled up the bed to lay beside her. My hand fisted in her hair at the nape of her neck and I tugged lightly to ensure she looked up at me.
“Tell me I’m yours,” I growled. “Say it Olivia. I need to hear it.”
“I’ve always been yours.”
My breathing was heavy and I roared as my powerful jaws bit down on her collarbone. She screamed out my name and bit me back marking me as hers forever.
I didn’t know what to expect when this moment came. It wasn’t something dudes talked about in the locker room. The moment was too sacred to belittle in that way.
I was instantly consumed by a wholeness I’d never known. I had always been aware of Olivia, but this was on a whole new level. I could suddenly feel her, as if she were in my skin too. When she moved, I moved. We were in perfect synch. When her desire flared, it only enhanced mine until I had to take her, claim her in every way possible.
I couldn’t hear her, but I could feel her. I knew every move, every spot that pleased her. It was as easy as breathing.
She was close to the edge when she finally let go of her clasp on my neck to throw her head back and moan loudly. I thought the spell would be broken, but it remained. I eased back on my clamp on her and lightly kissed my mark that would adorn her body the rest of her life.