Kano was being nice. He had even apologized, and he hadn’t once threatened to kill me for setting foot inside Clan territory.
I knew he was stressed about his dad and no matter how many times I tried to tell myself I hated the man, I just didn’t, I couldn’t.
My parents had died when I was fourteen. I was left an orphan. The Clan became my family as happens with orphaned cubs, but more than that, the Murphys had taken me in and made me feel like I was a part of their family.
Pike had been a better dad to me than my own had been. Not that there was anything wrong with my dad, he was just always too busy for me. I came second to his job. I came second to my mom. I even came second to his car. My dad had loved to work on cars. Unfortunately, he wasn’t very good at it, as proven by the fact the brakes went out and he and my mom had gone over a cliff and into a ravine coming back from the city for a business party. It was pretty ironic actually. He had all the things he loved the most, and being an afterthought, I’d been left safely at home.
The Alpha had moved me in and raised me as one of his own cubs. At least that’s how it had felt until I faced the disappointment in his eyes confirming what I’d always told myself. I wasn’t good enough for Olivia Murphy.
Losing the love of my life had nearly destroyed me, but it was more than that because I’d lost my family and my best friend too.
My feet pounded the pavement as I ran letting the memories in but only enough to save me from myself. Being home and having Kano’s approval to be here would only make it all the harder to leave again. I needed the reminder of that pain. I had to remember why I had never tried to come back and beg to be let back in. That heartache would help me survive this trip down memory lane, compliments of Silas Granger, asshole.
No matter how many times I told myself I wouldn’t do it, I found my feet leading me right downtown and past the salon next door to the old barber shop. I knew she wouldn’t be there, but I had seen her there with my own eyes. She was still just as beautiful as ever.
I couldn’t remember the first time I laid eyes on Olivia. She’d always been there. When she was little, she was a bit of a spoiled brat, but I had contributed to that as much, maybe even more than anyone. She and Tori always followed me and Killian around. When you’re eight you don’t want your little four-year-old sister tagging along with you. It wasn’t supposed to be cool.
I loved having Olivia as my shadow and tried to make it cool.
She followed me everywhere. She always had. I don’t think there was ever a defining moment when I knew I loved her. I just always had. I did remember the first time I noticed her though. She had blossomed into her curves at a young age. The summer I turned sixteen she suddenly sprouted boobs. Trust me, I noticed. She had only been twelve at the time and I didn’t say or do anything inappropriate, but I noticed, and I stopped looking at her like a little sister.
Kano always told me and Killian it was our job to look after Olivia. We both took that responsibility very seriously, but when she came to me asking for a kiss on her sixteenth birthday, I couldn’t say no. I knew it was wrong. I understood that her brothers would be pissed if they ever found out, but I couldn’t deny her or myself that moment.
She was too young, and I should have waited, not that she’d have let me.
After that, it became easier to justify my feelings for her especially when I knew they weren’t one sided. I was still too old for her. I should have put the brakes on things before it went too far, but I was young and blindly in love. I honestly thought that our love would conquer everything, that her family would be happy for us once they knew.
They hadn’t been happy at all and I’d lost everything.
I stopped in front of the salon and noticed the name of the place. Olive’s. Her father had always called her that. Olivia didn’t just work here. I realized now she probably owned the place. She was doing alright for herself then. That made me happy. I wanted her to have a great life, one I couldn’t give her.
Still the thought of her with someone else was too much to consider. It made me angry just thinking about it.
I heard footsteps approaching behind me. My entire body went on full alert as I whipped around ready for a fight. Years of training had done that to me.
“Woah. Hold up there Rocky,” Felix said.
“Felix? Sorry man. I’m just a bit on edge. Wasn’t expecting to see anyone out this late.”
“Couldn’t sleep. You?”
“Same.”
“I see you found Olivia’s place.”
“So she does own it?”
He nodded.
“I saw her working here today. I suspected by the name.”
“It certainly hasn’t been easy on her, but she’s done well for herself.”
“I’m glad,” I said sadly. “So, what’s got you up running this late.”
“You.”
Felix always was an honest guy. I had never been as close to him as I was Killian, but we had been friends, good friends, at least I thought so. After the blow up I was prone to questioning all of my relationships.
“I’m not here to cause any trouble. Trust me, I didn’t want to come at all.”
“I’ve heard plenty of rumors today, but why are you really here?”
“We believe Pike has been kidnapped by a group of humans that we consider our enemy. They’re called the Raglan. We didn’t know Pike was missing, but we do have proof that the Raglan have been watching the Clan closely.”
“You really think Uncle Pike is alive?”
“I do, and my team’s going to do everything we can to get him back safely.”
“Even after everything he did to you, you’re still going to help him?”
“It’s not personal, Felix. It’s the right thing to do. I’d do it for any shifter. It shouldn’t matter who he is.”
“But it matters to you.”
“I’d be lying if I said no. I’ve gotten very good at staying emotionally disconnected. I’ll get through this and we’ll get him back to you guys.”
“After that?”
“I’ll go home, and it’ll be like I was never here.”
“You’re like a ghost, Baine. You’re not here, but you are.”
I nodded. It made me sad to hear it.
“I lied, you know. You aren’t really the reason I can’t sleep, only a catalyst for it. Olivia didn’t know. No one ever told her.”
“Told her what?”
“That you were excommunicated from the Clan.”
I sucked in a sharp breath. “Bloody hell. What does she think happened, Felix?” This was a scenario I’d never even considered.
He shrugged. “She just knows you left without saying goodbye. She changed a lot after that. She’s never really been the same. She was questioning why Killian wasn’t happier about your return and things started spilling out. She still doesn’t know why, just that you were banished.”
“And you? Do you know why?”
He nodded. “For what it’s worth, I’m sorry. They were wrong to do that to you. Both of you.”
It would take me some time to process everything he’d just confessed.
“Want some company for the rest of your run?” I asked.