“My tummy smells bacon.” Kiely’s tiny voice breaks us apart, making us both chuckle.
“Let’s feed the tummy monster.” Jace lifts Kiely off the ground and plops her onto one of the kitchen chairs.
“It’s breakfast?” Kiely squeaks out with a curious look. “I love breakfast.” She claps her hands with a smile.
“Me too.” I smile back at her.
“Daddy’s arms have big muscles,” Kiely blurts out before shoveling some eggs into her mouth.
I take a sip of my water after choking on my toast. “They do?”
She nods with a serious expression on her face. “Gaston has big muscles, but he’s a meanie. Daddy’s not a meanie like Gaston, though. Are you a meanie like Gaston?” She blinks at me with big brown eyes.
“Uh…I don’t know who that is, but I assure you I am not a meanie.” I look over at Jace, failing to hide his grin.
“Uncle Sammy says Gaston is an A-hole, but I’m not allowed to say that in front of Daddy.”
My eyes widen with amusement. “Oh…well…I’m definitely not an A-hole.”
“Eat your bacon, silly girl.” Jace smirks at me. “After this, it’s bath time.”
“Can you read me a story?”
“Of course.”
“Will Charlotte come back tomorrow?”
“We’ll see.”
“I don’t know about tomorrow…but I would defiantly love to come back and visit you. Maybe we’ll check out the park I drove past. If it’s okay with your dad.”
“Can we, Daddy?”
“Sure. As soon as you’re feeling better.”
Being here, watching these two is dangerous. My resolve is melting away. I can’t let myself get too attached, more than I already am. My brain is telling me to leave and let them finish breakfast for dinner. But I stay because the heart wants what it wants.
After we finish eating, Kiely asks to play in her room with her toys. I help Jace place an order with the local supermarket that will be delivered in the morning. I start clearing the table and rinsing the dishes.
“Leave it.” Jace stands alongside me at the sink. “We should talk.” Uh oh.
“Sure.” I have a feeling this is going to hurt, I think, as Jace snags my hand and walks us over to the couch.
Jace removes the pillow and places the iPad on the small wood coffee table next to the couch so we can sit. “I’m sorry.” Jace stretches his arm over the back of the sofa, not touching me. “It was cowardly, the way I left. I should have talked to you and told you everything.”
“You hurt me, Jace.” I hold his gaze.
“It wasn’t my intention.”
“One minute you're saying you want me in your life. Then you vanish without another word. What was I, Jace?” I search around to make sure little ears are not in the room. “Another casual fuck?”
He winces. “You were never that to me.”
He reaches for my hand and I quickly pull it away. “Yet, you didn’t trust me enough to tell me you had a child.”
“I was going to tell you…I swear.”
“Fine…whatever. I should go.”
“Wait. Don’t leave angry. I hurt you. I’m sorry. I just…” He blows out a breath. “I’ve never done any of this before. A relationship…be a father. I need some time. I’m trying to figure things out as I go. I’m trying to give Kiely a stable life.”
“And where does it leave us?”
“I don’t know.” His shoulders sag. “Things are messy. I’m not sure it’s a good idea to get involved right now. You have racing and I need to be here.” His daughter is his priority. I guess that’s the way it should be.
“I understand.” I just don’t like it. The man has bulldozed his way into my heart and crushed it to smithereens. “I’m gonna go.” I stand, not willing to bear any more rejection.
“Charlotte…” He stands in front of me, blocking my path to the door. “…I really am sorry.” Yeah…you already said that.
“Goodbye, Jace.” Have a nice life. I will my feet to push past him toward the door.
“Tell me why you dropped security,” he says with a growl in his voice, snatching my arm. “I heard what went down with Mason. Stay away from him.”
I stretch my neck up to look at him. “It’s none of your concern anymore…so stand down, soldier.”
“That damn mouth of yours.” He glares at me like I’m a snack. I want him, and he wants me. His dark eyes are blazing with fire. But we both have our reasons for holding back. I need to go because if I stay he’s going to drive me crazy. “You’re so damn beautiful.”
My heart melts at his words. I can guess what he’s thinking when his eyes drift down to my lips. He’s going to kiss me. With his lustful eyes fixed on me, my nipples harden on command.
The man is so fucking confusing.
I want him to put his hand on my throat and push me up against the door. I want him to tell me to stay the night, and when Kiely goes to bed, we’ll fuck until the dawn.
He makes me want things I never wanted before in my life. Ever.
A big part of me wishes I could do this every day with them. Which is a crazy thought, right? When I was with Zach, it was always about racing and how we were going to be the best. We never talked about having a family. I’m sure it would have come eventually. For the first time in my life, I crave something more than racing.
“No, Jace.” I hold my palm up.
“My control goes to shit when I’m around you.” Yeah…pot meet kettle.
“I have to go.” If I let him kiss me, nothing more can come from this. I need to go home and try to scrub the memory of us from my brain.
“See you around, Jace.” It’s the last words I mutter as I head out the door and out of his life. For good.
Chapter Seventeen
Jace
“Daddy! Daddy! Uncle Sammy’s here.”
“Jesus.” Throwing on a dirty pair of basketball shorts from the laundry bin, I rush from the bedroom shirtless. My hair is still dripping wet from the shower. My junk is swinging like a palm tree in the breeze because I didn’t have time to put on underwear. I think I was less on edge walking through the mine fields back in Kabul than taking a five-minute shower, wondering what kind of trouble my daughter’s getting into.
“I told you not to answer the door, Kiely,” I say sternly, as she swings the door wide to let him in.
“But…but…it was Uncle.” She stares at me with those big round chocolate eyes, her little nose scrunched up like she’s about to cry.
“Okay, okay. We’ll talk about it later. Go clean up your toys, and let me speak to Uncle Sammy for a minute.”
“Uncle Sammy, can you watch the race with us?”
“What race, buttercup?” My brother plays dumb; shooting me a knowing grin that tells me he knows precisely which race we’re watching.
“Daddy’s friend Charlotte. Daddy says she’s not in this one because she’s gonna be in the biggest race ever. The man with the TV calls her Charlie, but she told me her real name is Charlotte. She made me breakfast for dinner. Daddy says one day he will take me to a race.”