I spent the night there because I was exhausted. A sleepless night on a hospital bed after being told what I already knew, that she’d died, wasn’t exactly what I needed after everything. But a bottle of Mom’s finest whiskey, the weed I had stashed where I knew she’d never find it, and my own bed. That brought me some of what I needed, at least.
When I finally emerged the next morning, I packed a bag, pulled out the money I’d been saving from the shitty jobs I’ve done over the past couple of years, and I walked away, ensuring I locked the door on the way out.
I didn’t have a lot of money. I’d wanted to save at least double what I had before making the purchase I’d been dreaming of since I was a kid, but it was all I had.
I walked straight to the nearest lot and bought what I could afford. After telling my dad where to go and to shove his plane ticket up his ass, I climbed on my new bike and set off.
I knew I was going to have to come here eventually. As much as I might hate it, I knew realistically that I couldn’t end up anywhere else. He wouldn’t allow it, and I’d eventually be dragged back kicking and screaming.
Sucking in a deep breath, I push the handle and step into the hallway. Fresh air hits my nose instantly reminding me that my room already smells like a drug den after only a few hours of being here.
I walk straight to the window and stare out at the empty driveway—well, empty aside from my bike—and breathe a sigh of relief. The house really is empty, and they really have left me to it.
Turning for the kitchen, I find my steps faltering outside her room.
I’ve thought of her more than I want to admit even to myself since I walked away that night.
I was meant to stay here a week, but I barely made it a few days.
I remember all too well the look on Mom’s face when I walked back into our apartment, having got myself back to Seattle. She knew I was coming, Dad had warned her, but I’d never seen her so furious.
But still, her demands to know why I had run, what had happened had fallen on deaf ears because there was no way I was telling anyone about Ruby.
I could barely think about her without losing my mind, let alone allow anything about her past my lips.
My hand reaches out for her door handle without instruction from my brain and in seconds I’m standing in her open doorway.
Her room is exactly the same as it was before. Girly shit litters the countertops. There are a million photographs of her and her parents, my dad, along with her friends and her cheer squad.
Without any consideration, I step inside, my eyes running over each image before I stare into her eyes.
This is all your fault.
The reason I am standing here right now is because of you.
My eyes narrow as I move from image to image, the anger within me beginning to ignite once again.
If she didn’t call to me the way she did. If she were anyone fucking else, then Halloween wouldn’t have happened. I wouldn’t have spent the past three months with her inside my head, and none of this shit would have happened.
My fist clenches with my need to hurt someone, to destroy something, but I can’t unless I want her to know that the first thing I did this morning was rain hell down on her bedroom.
I spin around, looking at the rest of the room before walking over to her desk and lowering myself to the pink chair. Her calendar is sitting open and I can’t help but stare down at her plans.
Every single day has cheer practice scrolled across it but there’s one other entry that makes me pay attention.
Saturday night... Party at Ethan’s.
Looks like I’ll be partying this weekend. A small smile curls at my lips as I think about attending my second Rosewood party. The first one looked half decent, Halloween bullshit aside. I can only hope things get better from here on out.
I turn to leave, ensuring nothing is out of place. I might have ideas for my not-so-sweet little stepsister, but I’ve got time. Right now, I need coffee and food. But as I get to the door, my anger gets the better of me when my eyes land on a framed photo of her, Lisa, and my dad smiling and looking happy together. Looking at the glistening blue lake in the background, I’d guess that they’re on vacation. A vacation I’ve never been invited to go on while in Seattle struggling to scramble together enough money to ensure both of us could eat. Lifting it from the shelf, I slam it down hard enough to smash the glass and leave it downturned.
Maybe it is time to show Ruby just how I feel about her.
4
Ruby
I spend almost all night staring at the ceiling waiting for him to show his face. But after he closed his bedroom door only minutes after entering the house, he never emerged again. I didn’t even have to endure a night of his music.
I couldn’t decide if his avoidance of me was a good thing or not. Of course, I was glad that I didn’t have to look into his cold, evil eyes, but at the same time, I’ve still got our first meeting hanging over me.
Part of me wishes that he just stormed in here and had it out with me the second he arrived. Assuming he has anything to have out with me of course. While I’ve been here obsessing about our time together and unable to forget about him, he’s probably not thought of me twice. I was probably just another notch on his bedpost because I’d be stupid to think that I wasn’t just one easy girl in a line of many. He knew what he was doing that night. The way he touched me. There was no hesitation, no nerves. He knew my body almost better than I do myself. That isn’t the actions of a virgin, that’s for sure. He’s probably even a bigger manwhore than the guys on the team I’ve attempted to use since to get him the fuck out of my head.
Either that or I wanted him to blast that god-awful music so loud that I had no choice but to go in there and pull the fucking plug just to get some peace.
But as it was, the voices in my head were louder than anything he did, and I fucking hated him even more for it.
All night I wondered what he was doing, and more irritatingly if he was okay. I hated that I cared, but the guy had just lost his mom. I might want to rid him from my memory, but I’m not actually a horrible person and I can’t even begin to imagine what he’s going through right now.
By the time I did fall asleep, it was so late that when my alarm starts blaring, I can hardly pry my eyes open.
It’s still dark out when I finally do manage to rip them apart, just like it has been every other morning I’ve had to get up this early for practice.
Those people who think cheer is a joke of a sport, they damn well need to try this because right now, it’s anything but fun.
Everything aches as I push myself up to sit on the side of the bed. I’m fit, I work out and practice daily, but right now, Chelsea is pushing my limits, although I’m sure my lack of sleep probably doesn’t help in any way.
With my head still fuzzy from sleep, I throw myself into a cold shower to wake up.
My hair is still wet when I pull it into a braid down the back of my head and secure it with a Rosewood red band at the bottom. I drag on a pair of black leggings and a matching sports bra, followed by an oversized hoodie.
Everything else I might need for the day is shoved into my duffle.
I don’t bother turning the hallway light on as I step out of my room, despite my need to disturb him like he did so many times to me before, swelling inside.