“Yet ye were thinking it,” he prompted. “So ye should say it.”
“Should I, though?” she wondered. “Is it appropriate?”
“I’m sure ’tis.” He couldn’t imagine her saying anything inappropriate.
“You may disagree.” She finally rallied her courage and looked at him. “Yet, I feel inclined to say it…ask it.”
“Then do so,” he encouraged, more than curious now. “Because ye dinnae hold back with me, remember?”
“That’s right.” She swallowed hard. “So, I will just ask you.”
As it happened, she did, and it was the very last thing he expected.
Chapter Fourteen
“Might you kiss me?” Greer blurted. “Here and now?”
While part of her was shocked she’d asked Teagan such, another part was relieved. Then a third, very insecure part, realized she’d just asked him to do something he might have no interest in doing.
“Of course, if you would rather not,” she stammered, “I completely understand for—”
That’s all she got out before he tilted her chin and kissed her gently. Tentatively. As though he didn’t want to scare her off, which at the moment would be quite impossible. Rather, she’d never wanted a man to stay close more. As close as possible.
Heat curled through her at the feel of his lips against hers. At the way his warm weapon-roughened hand felt when he cupped her cheek. His heat lingered on her lips and skin when he slowly pulled away.
“Thank you,” she whispered, unable to find her voice.
“Ye need not thank me, lass,” he replied hoarsely. “’Twas my pleasure…” He cleared his throat, his expression a little different. “’Twill always be.”
“You must think me horribly forward,” she murmured, only to be more forward still. But he made it so easy. “I just…want this to be different.”
“As you should,” Margery would have said. “And he should know. Honestly, I would hazard to say he would want to.”
When Teagan looked at her curiously, she went on, confessing more than she ever dared imagine. But he made it seem so normal. Effortless. As though it were the most natural thing in the world to be so forthright. To share things that weighed on her mind.
“I have never enjoyed the sorts of experiences with men other women have,” she explained. “Being admired, pursued, or even kissed.” Not to say she hadn’t been lusted after by her deceased husband and Bartholomew. It wasn’t the same, though. It felt filthy with them. As if she were an object. “So I suppose I hope perhaps this time, despite our union being one of necessity, that I could enjoy at least one of those things. That it would not trouble you overly much.”
“Trouble me?” Teagan cleared his throat again as though mayhap, as her fanciful mind would have it, still recovering from their kiss. “That is the verra last thing any of those would do.” He made her blush again with his bluntness. “Consider yerself verra much admired and, though aye, there is necessity in this, dowry or not, I would pursue ye.”
“Would you really?” she said softly.
“Aye,” he assured without hesitation. “As to the kissing, though I’m surprised ye wanted such, I will kiss ye as often as ye like.”
“Why are you surprised?”
“If I were to be perfectly honest, ’tis not something I’d think a pious lass would want before our vows have been exchanged.”
Ah, yes. Well, that made sense.
“Whilst devout, I’m not as pious as some might think,” she confessed. “Though I visit the chapel daily, and would regardless, before you arrived, ’twas more regularly than usual for the wrong reasons, I’m afraid.”
He eyed her for a moment before he seemed to understand. “’Twas a means to avoid Bartholomew, aye?”
“Yes,” she confirmed. “And I like to think God was all right with that. As it were, spending time with Him was much preferred.”
“No doubt ’twas, and I’m sure God understands.” He kept considering her. “Might I be equally frank, lass? About a few things now that we are on topic?”
“I wish you would be.”
“Setting aside kissing and my desire to pursue you, ’tis best we marry as soon as possible once we leave,” he revealed. “Along those lines, ’tis important ye understand that I dinnae expect consummation. Especially not if ye decide ye dinnae want to stay in the marriage.”
That truly did surprise her.
“I figured you would want to marry straight away.” She wondered just how blunt she should be. Shockingly enough, she opted for brazen honesty, indeed, saying precisely how she felt. “Whilst I appreciate your offer and still might take you up on it, I’m no longer a blushing bride, Teagan. Therefore, though some might argue otherwise, my virtue need no longer be held to such rigorous standards.”
“My goodness, that sounded quite suggestive,” Margery would exclaim. “Forget the dark and dangerous escape by night, you have decided you are off on a wicked and sinful adventure!”
It had sounded rather bold, hadn’t it? But the fact of the matter was, though being a pious widow of status made her chaste in the eyes of the church once more, she was no such thing. Rather, she felt somewhat seasoned. Her elderly husband might not have kissed her, but he lay with her often enough. So yes, no matter how unorthodox, she was no longer a virtuous young girl with high hopes when it came to men.
She was, however, having known Teagan mere days, curious in ways she’d never been before. What would it feel like to have his large, warm hands elsewhere on her body? How might he touch her? Or would he not? Perhaps, like her former husband, he would simply rut with her, expel his seed, then go, leaving nothing but pain betwixt her thighs.
She had never been touched and stroked like she’d heard women whisper about. Certainly never had a man kiss her in the areas of which they spoke. If all that weren’t enough, she’d never met a man she wanted to see more of. What did Teagan look like beneath his tunic? Breeches? Her cheeks heated, just envisioning it.
“Whether yer virtue is intact or not,” Teagan replied, drawing her attention back to the conversation, “’tis still yer choice, Greer, and I will treat ye accordingly.” He issued a devilish little smile. “The kissing, however, could and should happen often, though, aye?”
“It should,” she agreed, meeting his smile, glad he’d taken her blunt words in stride. “I would like that.”
Though she knew by the way his gaze lingered on her lips, he was tempted to kiss her again right then and there, they returned to chatting, mostly because it came so easily. Talking to him was as effortless as speaking with Ada or Margery. Just as entertaining, too. Therefore, she could safely say men and women could be friends because surely such blossomed between them.
In fact, for the first time in years, hours would go by without Margery saying a word. But then, when Greer was with Teagan, there wasn’t much time to get a word in edgewise. It was as if they had a great deal of catching up to do. What had her life been like? His? What did they want from their future together or not? And what of children?