Adrian’s brow furrowed. “And how is that relevant?”
“Well, that means we’ve already been halfway there.”
He wasn’t convinced, though his dark eyes sparked with curiosity.
“Clover, think about what you’re asking. Making a baby? You aren’t even in love with me.”
I was so hoping that wouldn’t be an issue.
I danced around that particular complication as best I could without tapping my way out of the idea altogether.
“Do we need to be in love?”
“Isn’t that why a couple has a baby?” he asked. “To share their love for each other?”
The world just didn’t make men like Adrian Alaric anymore.
“We do have love for each other…right?” I said.
“Of course. That’s why I’m not gonna fuck you.”
“Then it’ll be kinda hard to get pregnant.”
His attention darted to the locker room and the carried conversations echoing from the showers. Pretty sure the half-naked men getting ready for practice had heard far worse than our conversation.
“Answer me this…” Adrian held my gaze—a damned stare that wrung the honesty out of me like I was a damp washcloth. “When was the last time you went out with a guy?”
I buzzed my lips. “Jeeze. What’s that got to do with it?”
“When was the last time you got laid?”
Dangerous question with a thoroughly embarrassing answer.
“It’s…uh…” I glanced around the lounge. “Little public for this conversation.”
“It’s a little sudden for a baby.”
Touché. Fine. I’d give him something, anything to end the conversation before I revealed anything too humiliating.
“Let’s just say…a plane’s turbulence gives me plenty of bumps,” I said.
His voice lowered. “Sex with me is more than a bump.”
“Doesn’t matter if it’s a crash, thud, wallop, or jolt. As long as it gets me a baby, I’m yours all night.”
He wagged a chastising finger at me. “You know it’s more complicated than that.”
No, I really didn’t. But the internet made it look real easy.
“I’m not asking for much,” I said. “You can just…lay back and relax.”
“That’s not how I have sex.” His expression darkened. “I don’t just lay back.”
“Whatever sharpens your skates then.”
“You’re not listening…” He rubbed his face, delicately picking words to describe a decidedly indelicate activity. “Clover, let’s just say that there are a few things you don’t know about me and my…nighttime proclivities.”
My stomach dropped. “There are women in these proclivities, aren’t there?”
He pushed off the couch with a grunt. “Yes, fuck me. Jesus. I’m just saying…we’ve never discussed this sort of thing.”
“And we don’t need to.”
“You want to have sex.”
“Yeah—have it, not philosophize about it.” My eyebrows wagged. “So, you’re kinky. No big deal. Maybe I’ll like it?”
No dice. Adrian frowned, immediately ending the conversation with an irritated wave of his hand.
Figured. He was a gentleman—a solid rock composed of morals, decency, and honor. He’d never met a lady he couldn’t seduce, and yet his own damned respectability forbade him from acting upon any of those wild and unrepentant urges with me.
This made slipping into bed with him harder than I’d thought.
Just my luck. My best friend had to be the good guy.
“Look, I love you, you know that,” Adrian said. “That’s why I want to do this right. You keep talking about starting a new life, making babies, embracing a change.”
“Doesn’t it sound wonderful?”
“It does…” He hesitated. “Which is why you should take that leap with someone special.”
Leave it to Adrian Alaric to be kind enough to break my heart.
“You are that special,” I said. “In every way. We’ve already spent our lives together. It’d be easy to add another person to this friendly fairytale.”
“You may think that now.”
“I’ll think that always.”
“What happens when you meet someone?” he asked.
Hadn’t happened yet. Then again, wasn’t like I was looking too hard. What was the point in trying to find the perfect man when he was already my best friend? Better to spend my life doing all the fun stuff that didn’t require someone at my side—traveling the world, visiting exotic places, experiencing the last remaining wilds on this Earth.
For a long time, that had seemed more fun than sex and dating.
Then…things changed. The injury changed things.
“You know I won’t meet a man worth my while,” I said.
“You will, one day. And then this decision will complicate that. I won’t be the one who stands between you and your future happiness.”
He was sweet enough to flavor my coffee, but he remained a damned pain in my ass.
“I don’t need a relationship to be happy,” I said.
“Not now…but what about in a year or two or five?”
I’d never thought that far ahead before. Wasn’t about to start now.
“Why couldn’t you be that man?” I asked.
Another scowl. “That’s not what I’m talking about.”
Adrian finished his burrito and wrapped the foil into a tight ball. He attempted to make a basket in the trashcan across the room and missed.
“And this is why you play hockey,” I teased.
He grabbed a wayward stick left propped against the wall, and took aim. He wrist-shot the foil ball and cast it into the air, aiming it with a perfect arc to land dead center in the trash can.
“And that’s why they pay me the big bucks,” he said.
He was talented enough that I allowed the arrogance, but he didn’t have to rub it in.
I sighed. “Must be nice, having everything you’ve ever wanted, making money doing it, and going home each night feeling satisfied and rewarded.”
Adrian leaned against his stick. “Is that what you think?”
“I’d like to have something that makes me feel half as good as hockey does for you.”
“You want my honest opinion?”
“Depends…will it make me mad?”
“I think what you really need is…” He cleared his throat. “A good night of making the baby.”
I arched an eyebrow. “Is that so?”
“You haven’t gone out on a date in forever. Haven’t experienced any sort of thrills lately. What if you don’t need a baby…what if you just need a little…”
“What?”
“Intimacy?”
He wouldn’t be wrong, but that wasn’t my end goal.
I’d been perfectly fine without anything intimate in my life, especially since there wasn’t anyone out there waiting for me either. Didn’t matter if I drank all the Mai Tais in Maui or gazed over the glaciers in Greenland, I’d never find anyone even remotely like my best friend.