“That’s not an answer.”
“Yes, it is.” I reached for her, brushing her hair behind her ear. The softness delighted me. She delighted me. “Doesn’t matter if we have sex every goddamned night. I’m not letting you go.”
“You’re willing to make that sacrifice?”
“Absolutely,” I said. “Because I need you.”
This amused her. “For what?”
“For everything. For myself. For my sanity.”
“And here I thought I was the pest who dragged you out of bed and across the country too many times to count?”
“Oh, you are.” And I had kept a count. The number hovered around twenty, depending if I regretted losing our hotel reservation during Mardi Gras when we’d wandered the French Quarter for two days with no sleep and only a dozen beignets to keep us fueled. “But you’re the only one who can help me get through this fucking mess with the Forge.”
Clover edged closer. “This team’s disfunction isn’t your fault.”
“I know.”
“Or your responsibility.”
I took issue with that. “Of course it is. I’m the captain. These guys are supposed to respect me, to follow my example. How the fuck am I supposed to do that now?”
She was a woman of action, always egging me to jump headfirst from the precipice just to see the problem from another angle.
“Nothing’s changed. You work hard. You earn their trust.” She paused. “You could be honest with them.”
“Telling the team that the Forge expects them to make a spectacle of the franchise won’t fix this problem.” I frowned. “Nothing will…not until the men get coordinated. They’ve gotta resolve their conflicts with each other and keep their issues of the ice.”
“It’s like that with all teams,” she said. “But they’re all professionals. They’ll put in the work.”
I wished I had her optimism. “I’ve been around the league long enough to know when something is wrong. We’ve got so many damned playmakers on this team, but each one’s got an ego bigger than the last. I can’t unite men who don’t want to play as a unit. And I can’t make a winning team if the management wants us to eat each other alive.”
“But you can be a great captain. They’ll recognize the man you are, and they’ll play for you, not just with you.”
The woman was too damned good for me. Did Clover even realize what she meant to me? She was my flashlight in a power outage, and the jumper cables in my trunk. Wasn’t sure what I did to have such a woman wearing my jersey and snuggled in my bed, but I’d sure as hell do all I could to keep her there.
“Maybe one day they’ll trust me the way you do.” I relaxed onto the bed, wishing I could knock my head against something harder than the pillow. “I wouldn’t have made it this far without you.”
She batted me with her pillow. “That’s a lie.”
“You’re the one who pushed me into the junior leagues. Let me copy your homework so I could do more practices and late-night games. Never got upset when I had to do drills and private lessons instead of seeing a movie or going to the mall.”
“Well, you let me tag along.”
“You hate hockey.”
Clover got a little too defensive with her squeal. “I’ve never admitted that. The arenas are just…cold. That’s all. And…smelly.”
“But you still came to all the games you could. And you stuck around after to entertain me. Kept me grounded after spending so many hours on the ice.”
“Well, I am more than happy to take credit for how a great of a man you turned out to be.” She nibbled her bottom lip. “Gives me hope.”
“Hope for what?”
“That if we have a boy…he can take after you.”
A boy.
The room spun.
Jesus.
I hadn’t thought of anything beyond making the baby. Not a gender. Not any names. Not the expectations.
My only goal had been to get the deed done.
…And not to worry that our first attempt had failed.
Clover tilted her head. “Uh-oh. You’ve gone tense again.”
“If I choke on my tongue, roll me over.”
“It’s just sex.”
I swallowed. “It’s not though. It’s more than that. It’s a chance to prove…”
I stopped talking, but Clover never tolerated silences.
“Prove what?”
I wasn’t going to say it. And I sure as hell wasn’t going to admit to it.
The fear was unfounded. Ridiculous.
If Clover wanted a baby, I’d give her a baby.
“Prove that I’m not as hockey obsessed as you think I am,” I said. It wasn’t a lie. Just wasn’t what I meant to say.
She gestured over the room. The house was big. Plenty of extra bedroom and spaces to fill, walls for pictures.
Too bad I had no decorations.
Other guys had photos of friends and family. Childhood mementoes. Family heirlooms.
Maybe I could frame some jerseys. Grab an official game photo and blow it up. But beyond that? I didn’t have much else. Only a beautiful girl in my bed, offering me everything I never thought I wanted.
“Are you finally looking for something beyond the rink?” she asked.
No. But she expected it of me. “Didn’t know I needed anything else.”
“Not even a baby?”
“It’s a major decision. Are you sure you’re ready for one?”
No hesitation. Just a sweet smile.
“I’m ready,” she said. “Ready to settle down and experience a part of life that I’ve ignored so far. Does that scare you?”
“A baby doesn’t scare me.”
“What does?”
Unreturned calls to my urologist’s office.
Scheduled tests. Return visits. Conversations.
Doctor Stone made it seem like it’d be no big deal, just something routine.
But I was smarter than that.
And that’s why I’d refused to make the call.
Nothing was wrong with me. I’d recovered fully. I’d prove it by giving Clover a baby.
And it would happen tonight.
Because if it didn’t…if I couldn’t be the one to give her that gift…
She’d look elsewhere for the family she desperately wanted.
It would destroy me.
Destroy us.
“The only thing that scares me is disappointing you.” Honest enough. “That’s why I wanted to make tonight perfect. So you’d realize that I’m not some sex-crazed beast determined to pin you down and ravage you all night. You’re giving me a precious gift…and because of it, I’ll take care of you. Always. No matter what.”
Clover shifted closer, lifting onto her knees so she could pull me into her embrace. Our foreheads touched.
“You don’t need to convince me to sleep with you, Adrian Alaric.” Her kiss was a gentle caress that broke me with tenderness. “The only man I want in my bed, in my arms, inside me…is you.”
14
Clover