Where are they when I need them?
Where’s my father?
Don’t I matter? Shouldn’t I be a fucking priority?
You’d think!
But maybe he’s right... Maybe I truly am no one and they’re not even looking…
Maybe I’m going to die right here.
Just like Lindsey.
“Hey, man. Hey! Cut that shit out! You leave any marks on her and it’s your ass!” someone yells.
The rifle crushes against my windpipe as the man pushes even harder
“You’re just a stupid bitch,” he growls. “A stupid cheap piece of ass being offered to the highest bidder.”
With a look of contempt and a sound of disgust, he yanks the rifle away.
Falling to my knees, I grab at my aching throat as I gasp in great big mouthfuls of air.
Looking down at me like I’m shit he just stepped in, the man makes a loud, throaty noise and then something wet splatters against my thighs.
“You’re not even worth my fucking time or breath.”
Tears fill my eyes as I watch him turn his back to me, obviously not the least bit worried I’ll try to fight back again.
I won’t.
I won’t try to fight back again.
Because he’s right.
Here, in their world, I am nothing.
I’m just a stupid bitch who thought for a split second that she could change things or make a difference.
I have no power to stop this or him.
I’m completely, utterly, pathetically…
Weak and helpless.
But I still want to live.
With the sting of my own death still burning in my nose and tingling on my lips, I shakily force myself to get to my feet. Afraid that if I stay like I am for too long the man will turn his attention back to me and finish what he started.
As I rise, the red-haired woman to my right purposely avoids meeting my eyes and shies away from me like she’s afraid to be too close to me.
It shouldn’t hurt. I don’t know her, and I shouldn’t care what she thinks of me.
But it does.
What hurts even more though is when I look to Amanda and see her doing the same thing.
Shying away from me like she doesn’t want to be associated with me.
Fighting back more tears, I wrap my arms around myself and shuffle back until I’m against the wall.
Surrounded on both sides by women just like me, naked, afraid, and just wanting to survive, I’ve never felt more alone.
Beth is gone. I don’t know where they’ve taken her.
I was so focused on Amanda when the men came to our cell, I didn’t realize until it was too late that they were separating us from Beth.
They split the three of us into the back of two semi-trucks, and I haven’t seen her since.
Amanda might as well be gone.
Eventually the man with the rifle turns back to me to give me a contemptuous smirk. Then he walks down the line to mess with some other poor girl who isn’t against the wall to his liking.
When she starts sobbing from his verbal abuse, I don’t try to speak up for her. I don’t try to rescue her like I did for Amanda.
I just wrap my arms tighter around myself, tuck my chin down, and pray for this nightmare to end.
The man with the rifle spews the same hateful words at the other girl he spewed at me. Reminding her that she’s nothing. That we’re all nothing.
Until a new voice cuts in.
“Yo!” a man calls out from across the room and I peek up to see him standing in front of an open door that was closed a moment ago. “Bag and gag number seven, she’s rollin’ out!”
The other two men in the room who have blended into the background up until now give each other confused looks.
One even chuckles.
“Are you sure you’ve got the right number?” the chuckling man asks. “Usually it’s the virgins that roll out first…”
“I’m sure,” the man standing in the doorway confirms impatiently, and I notice he’s not dressed in fatigues like the other men who are so alike they’re nearly identical. No, his dark hair is longer than a buzzcut, slicked back, and he’s dressed in an expensive looking black suit.
“Special order,” the man in the suit emphasizes. “Now get her fucking bagged and gagged so we can get her the hell out of here.”
He slams the door shut behind him and the other men stand quietly for a moment.
“Special order, huh?” the man who chuckled repeats with a shake of his head then he and his identical buddy start to walk in my direction.
“I bet it’s Mr. Zaroff,” the man with the rifle snickers as he walks back up the line to join the other two.
“Mr. Zaroff?” the third man scoffs as the three of them stop in front of me. “Fuckin’ doubt it. He likes ‘em spunky and this one’s already broken.”
“Yeah, gag her quick,” Chuckles says. “I still have a headache from all the bitching and moaning she did earlier.”
The man with the rifle shifts his grip and lifts it, pointing it directly at me. His cold eyes lock on mine and the quirk of his lips dares me to try something.
To give him a reason to end my existence.
The third man dressed in fatigues reaches back and pulls a long strip of fabric from his pocket at the same time the man who chuckled pulls what appears to be a black hood from his utility belt.
I suck in a small breath and hold it, waiting for them to pounce on me.
I won’t fight. I can’t fight, I remind myself while all the muscles in my body tense and every little instinct screams for me to get away, to do something to save myself.
The man with the hood and the man with the gag share a look. Then the man with the hood suddenly moves forward and grabs Amanda.
“No!” Amanda wails, fighting against the man as he yanks her out of the line and restrains her arms behind her back while the man with the strip of fabric moves in.
As soon as the man with the fabric reaches out and touches her, Amanda goes limp. It’s almost like she fainted, but her eyes are still open.
Working quickly, the man with the fabric stuffs it in Amanda’s mouth and ties it around the back of her head.
Then the man with the hood pushes her forward and drops the black hood over her head.
My stomach rolls and I want to puke all over the floor as I watch them each grab an arm and drag her to the door.
I should do something…
But what do I do?
Oh god, what do I do?
“That was easier than expected,” the man who chuckled earlier says before he bangs loudly on the door. “Number seven is ready to roll!”
The door opens almost instantly, as if the man in the suit was standing on the other side, waiting.
“Good,” the man in the suit says. He eyes Amanda for a moment then nods. “Bag and gag number six as well.”
The man in the suit moves to the side and two new goons step around him to take Amanda. As soon as she’s handed off, the door slams shut.
And just like that, Amanda is gone.
Gone.
And I did nothing to stop it.
I don’t know where they’re taking her, and I don’t know if I’ll ever see her again.
I didn’t even say goodbye…
I should have at least said goodbye.
The two men that took Amanda to the door suddenly appear in front of me out of nowhere, their bulky, black-clad bodies filling the whole of my vision.