A poster of Ariana Grande is tacked to the wall, and beside her, a picture of Britney Spears, but from her earlier years as a popstar.
Turning to Luke with a lifted brow, I rest my hands on my hips and watch as he climbs into his closet.
He actually climbs in, to get past the mess.
“Fan of teenybopper pop music?”
Luke’s movements barely slow as he turns his head to make sense of my words. He starts with a “Huh?” only to then catch sight of the posters. His lips notch up into a wicked smirk. “Yeah, their music turned sixteen-year-old me the fuck on.” He goes back to whatever he’s doing. “Me and Britney spent a lot of time together over the years.”
“So Rob was into Ariana?”
“Rob likes to keep his sexual proclivities to himself, for the most part. Ariana was mine too. And beside her, there used to be a poster of Katy Perry, but then she and Taylor Swift had a falling out, and I didn’t much enjoy either of them after that. I don’t like girl fights and cattiness. So I peaced out of that threesome and went back to Britney.”
“Noble of you,” I drawl. “So you spent a lot of time alone in this room with your fantasy girlfriends?” I turn a slow circle in an effort to take everything in before we’re banished again. Trophies, workout gear, boxing gloves, and something else that kind of resembles a boxing bag, but smaller, and a little more rectangular. “You pleasured yourself a lot?”
Luke chokes at my brazen question. “Stop analyzing me. I told you to quit that shit forever ago.”
“But you give me so much reason to analyze you.”
“There once was this mom!” Casey shouts from downstairs. I guess our twenty seconds is up. “Who bought enough Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups to supply an entire town for Halloween.”
“Mom!” Luke shouts back. “I’m trying to find something in my closet. Cool your crazy for a damn second.”
“But the weather was still warm, so when that mom tossed her bag of loot into the back seat and forgot about them while she worked, those poor suckers melted.”
“Mom!” Luke works faster and tosses things out of his closet in his rush. A football helmet crashes to the floor by my feet, and a second after that, a dirty pair of cleats I’m certain wouldn’t even come close to fitting him now.
“But that mom doesn’t waste chocolate. Ever!” Casey turns louder. Louder.
“Mom!”
“Sunshine!” Luke’s dad snaps. “Don’t you dare.”
“Where is it, where is it?” Luke’s smile is gone, and now he chants and frantically searches for whatever he’s searching for.
“So when that mom and dad got home from the gym, and their grown-ass sons were not at the house, Mom took that bag of chocolate to the kitchen to see what she could save.”
“Mom! Stop it.”
“Sunshine!”
“Tink!” Kit cackles with a belly-bouncing giggle that almost makes me smile.
Almost.
“So Mom and Dad were in the house, alllllll alone with a bunch of melted chocolate. And you know moms don’t waste such delicacies, so she started peeling those packages open, slowly, tenderly.”
“Mom!”
“Sunshine!”
“Tink.” Kit snort-laughs. “Stop!”
“The melted chocolate was all over her fingers. Naturally, she placed one finger in her mouth and licked that sugary delight off.”
“Oh god.” Luke starts gagging in his closet. Chest heaving, chin trembling, and arms shaking as he makes a colossal mess and throws things to the floor. “I’m gonna spew.”
“Luke, honey?” Casey’s voice is singsong and perfect. “Wanna know what happened next?”
“No! Found it.” He grabs a small gift bag from somewhere deep in his closet, lobs it so it slaps against my chest, and snags a black hoodie from one of the few remaining hangers. “Mom! I found it. Stop telling your fuckin’ story. Come on.” He scrambles out of the mess and grabs my hand.
Dragging me out of his room and closing the door as though to lock away the filth, his chest heaves from exertion, and his eyes close, like her words were a visual torment. “Mom! I hate you.”
“She got down on her knees—”
“Mom!” Luke tears me along the hall and to the very top of the stairs to find Casey standing exactly where we left her. “Jesus, I wasn’t going in there to have sex! Fuck.”
“I know you weren’t. Pretty hard to have sex when you’re thinking about your mother in such provocative ways.” Her eyes come to mine as she grins. “Not in my house, sweetpea.”
“You need help!” Luke drags me down the stairs and takes a wide berth around his mother. “You need psychiatric intervention.”
I bring my hand up and press a finger to the tip of my nose. “Not it.”
Kit bursts out laughing.
“I hate you all. I got what I came here for, and now I’m going home to pour bleach into my fucking ears.”
“You cuss a lot, baby.” Casey snags Luke’s arm as we try to pass on the way to the front door. “How would Grandma feel about that if she heard you?”
“Grandma would whoop my ass and feed me to the cats. But you’re not her, and you don’t scare me.”
“I don’t?”
“No! You gross me out.” Luke makes us stop at the front door, replaces his scowl with a kind smile, and leans in to press a kiss to Casey’s cheek. “I love you, Momma. Even when you annoy the shit out of me.”
“Funny.” She steps in and wraps her arms around his torso for a hug. “I’ve said the same thing about you and your brother since you were born. I love the crap out of you, even though you annoy me. Be safe tonight, okay?” She pulls away but keeps one hand on his arm for a moment longer. “Don’t get caught stealing.”
“We’re actually anti-stealing. We’re returning.”
“Don’t get caught doing that either. Get your ass in, then out, then go home and be a good boy.”
“No explosives,” Jon steps up behind his wife and grumbles. “Everyone will know it was you as soon as they see the scorch marks.”
“I don’t appreciate the slander that goes on in this town,” Luke grumbles. “It’s unfair, and ripe for a lawsuit.”
“It’s not slander if it’s true,” Kit inserts and smiles for me when I glance her way. “Have fun, do something crazy, but don’t leave evidence.”
“Um… okay.” I hug the small gift bag to my chest and try to remain standing under the stare of these three people. “It was nice to meet you all.”
“You’re Sonia’s family.” Casey steps forward and gently takes my hand. She squeezes, when I was certain she might try to punch me in the face. “That automatically gives you a step up from any other woman my son has tried to introduce us to.”
“Oh… uh… wow, okay. Thank you.”
“If you’re gonna come back around here with him, then you’ll learn to laugh, deflect, or toss it back. And if you can’t do one of those three, then your time here will be miserable. How all this works out is up to you, but I’d like to think, being Sonia’s blood, you’ll do just fine.”