Caleb nodded. “Yep. Nothing around here has changed.”
Canting her head, she studied him. “That’s not true. You’ve changed.”
“You think? How’s that?”
Ava rubbed two fingers over her chin. “You’re more relaxed. More self-confident.”
“I haven’t changed,” he reiterated, leaning back in his chair. “The only thing that’s changed is your perception of me.”
Was that true? This time, her heart skipped two beats.
“No, really,” he said. “I’m serious. I’m the same guy I was when we were in high school. I still work the ranch all day. I still love where I live and have no desire to move. I still order the same thing at the Kringle Kafe no matter who’s with me.”
Ava laughed. He was right. He had ordered the same chicken fried steak he’d always ordered when they’d been dating in high school. “Okay, so maybe you haven’t changed all that much.”
With a nonchalant shrug, he added, “No reason to change if you’re happy with who you are.”
Sandy arrived to deposit their food in front of them. She told them to enjoy and wandered off again.
“I guess that’s where we’re different. I like trying new things and crave new experiences.”
“You always want something new and different. I get it. You like keeping your options open. Me? When I find what I like, I stick with it. I’m more closed-ended.”
Closed off is more like it.
He held her gaze for a powerful moment, and she felt that stare right down to her toes. He’d always had a startling effect on her, and it seemed the strength of it hadn’t dimmed over the years. She thought he might say something else, but he merely cleared his throat and glanced away.
Leaving Ava feeling bizarrely bereft.
He picked up his knife and fork and went after his chicken fried steak, so she turned her attention to her food too. She’d ordered the cashew chicken salad, but now, piercing at the wilted iceberg lettuce with the tines of her fork, she couldn’t help wishing she’d ordered the chili mac instead.
“You should have ordered the chili mac,” Caleb said, reading her mind.
She laughed softly. “You think you’re so smart. I wanted a salad.”
He shook his head. “I don’t think so. I think you wanted chili mac, but you ordered the cashew chicken salad because it’s new on the menu and you wanted to try something different, even though secretly you yearned for your old standby.”
“You’re wrong.” She took a bite, hoping to prove him incorrect, but she knew in her heart he was correct. She loved the chili mac at the Kringle Kafe. Nothing else compared.
“Admit it, chili mac is your first culinary crush.”
She met Caleb’s eyes. “We’re not talking about food anymore, are we?”
“It’s a metaphor.” He shrugged.
“Meaning you’re the chili mac and I keep chasing after cashew chicken salad?”
“Your words, not mine.” He cut into his chicken fried steak, stuck a bite in his mouth, and chewed. “Mmm.”
She mimicked him, taking a big bite of her salad, moaning “mmm” and patting her belly.
Caleb flagged down Sandy.
“What is it, dollface?” Sandy asked.
“Could you bring Ava a bowl of chili mac instead?” Caleb asked.
“On it.” Sandy saluted him. “That cashew chicken salad is on the menu for the tourists. Everyone in Kringle knows to order the chicken fried steak or chili mac when they walk through those doors. I figured Ava’s been gone so long, she forgot.”
Ava pushed her plate to one side. With the promise of chili mac, she was over the salad.
“Tell me about your travels,” Caleb invited after Sandy went to place the new order.
“Do you really want to know?”
“I want to know everything about the woman you’ve become,” he said. From the rapt way he gave her his attention, she believed he meant it.
“I’m not sure where to start. I know my parents have kept you updated on my travels.”
“Not as much as you might think. How many countries have you visited?” Caleb asked.
“Oh, wow, I’ve lost count.” She touched the tip of her tongue to her upper lip, then looked up and to the right as she ticked off countries on her fingers. “France, Spain, Italy, Germany, most of Europe really. I’ve been to the Netherlands and Norway, Slovenia and Croatia. The Czech Republic, Poland, Austria, Switzerland. Ack! Look, I’m out of fingers and I haven’t even gotten started with the South Pacific and Asia.”
“You’ve been a busy woman.”
“How about you? How many countries did you visit when your dad was in the military?”
“Not as many as you and I went to twelve different schools.”
“Don’t you ever miss it?” she asked. “Traveling around the world?”
“It was never like that for me,” he said. “Traveling isn’t something I did for fun. It was my dad’s job and I got dragged along. I’m not blaming my dad. That was his livelihood and for sure, I learned a lot. Mostly, that I’m the kind of guy who enjoys staying in one place.”
Here they were, back to the same old conflict. He craved certainty. It was a yolk around her neck.
At least it had been ten years ago.
Here? Now? With her last job ended and nothing new on the horizon, maybe she was tired of starting over every few months. Staying on the move might fill her life with adventure, but it stopped her from establishing the comforting rhythm of a steady routine.
“I remember when you got on that plane to Paris, on what was supposedly our wedding day, with nothing more than your five thousand dollars in your bank account and a place to stay.” Caleb shook his head. “I couldn’t believe how brave you were. Your pluck amazes me.”
“Really?” She laid her fork down on her plate and met his gaze. “You thought I was brave?”
He gave a slow, solemn nod. “So damn brave.”
“Why didn’t you ever tell me?”
“I was selfish.” He lifted a shoulder. “And feeling petty that Paris got you and not me.”
“Aww, Caleb.”
He raised a palm. “No pity. You did what you had to do, and I had to learn how to let you do it.”
“You know,” she said, “that’s one of the most understanding things you’ve ever said to me.”
“Hey, don’t canonize me. It took me ten years to get here.”
“Me as well.”
“What happened when you got to Paris with no job prospects? How did you plan to survive?”
“It’s probably braggy of me to say so, but I really didn’t worry. I knew I was a talented photographer and I didn’t mind scrimping to get by. I vowed to follow the river of life where it took me.”
He grimaced.
“Too New-Agey for Kringle?” She laughed.
“Not at all. I just couldn’t do something like that. It’s important to me to always have a plan.”
“I know.” Her smile gentled. “You crave certainty and I crave adventure.”
“Not a compatible combo, is it?”