“I never said that, Caleb. When I was young, I wanted to find myself and I did. I learned who I was and what I wanted and after coming home and spending time with you, I know you are what I want.”
He shook his head. “I’m in Kringle, Ava. Not Singapore. You have your dreams and I have mine and I won’t stand in your way.”
Tears misted his eyes, but he’d be danged if he’d let her see it. He tugged his Stetson down low over his forehead and turned his face from her. “I wish for you only the best the world has to offer, Ava.”
Then, while he still had his wits about him, Caleb jumped into his truck and drove away. He was halfway out of town before he realized he’d left his horse trailer behind.
Ava woke up Saturday morning with a heavy sense of dread sitting on her chest. It was ten minutes after six and still dark outside, but someone was banging on the shelter door and the dogs were going crazy. She’d barely slept last night, her mind in a turmoil over Caleb. She’d tossed and turned for hours, weighing her dilemma.
Quickly, she dressed in blue jeans, a Christmas sweater, work boots, and a hooded jacket and shuffled outside in the wan light of early dawn. She rounded the side of the house and headed for the shelter just a few feet away.
She stopped and gasped.
People were outside. Lots of people. Cars everywhere and more were pulling into the driveway.
Startled, she rushed up to the front porch of the shelter where an older man, holding one of her posters, stood banging on the door.
“The adoption event doesn’t start until seven,” she told him.
“I came early so I didn’t miss out,” he said, flapping the poster of Tiny the Great Dane in her face. “This is the dog I want.”
“We open at seven,” she reiterated, shivering in the cold bit of wind. The temperatures had plummeted since yesterday’s pleasant weather for the parade.
“Tell that them.” He jerked a thumb over his shoulder at the line of cars behind them. “It’s cold out. Might even snow today or tomorrow, so you can’t leave people running their engines.”
The older gentleman was right. Ava hadn’t expected this kind of response. She should have been more prepared. Feeling overwhelmed, she fumbled in her pocket for the front door key to the accompaniment of barking dogs.
Just as she was debating on how best to handle the early morning crush, Caleb, Phil, and Mort came driving through the pasture on three ATVs. The cavalry had appeared. Gratitude swamped her as she tensed at Caleb’s presence.
The three men parked their ATVs behind the shelter and strolled through the people collecting at the front door.
“How can we help?” Caleb asked, not a trace of emotion in his voice. He gave nothing away. She had no idea what he was feeling or why he’d shown up with his crew at the crack of dawn to rescue her.
Relief rushed through her hot and welcome. “You can get these folks settled in the outer office while I rouse Mom and Dad to pitch in.”
Caleb nodded. “We’re on it.”
To the bottom of her heart, Ava appreciated his help, and she also appreciated him not gloating. She hurried back to the house and quickly woke her parents and texted the volunteers to see if they could come in earlier.
“How great that they can’t wait to adopt,” her mother said past a yawn as she shuffled to the coffeemaker in her slippers. “Your dad and I will be right with you.”
Ava, too, was glad there were lots of interested people, but she’d never expected so many to show up all at once and so early. Now she knew why she’d been feeling dread since waking up. It wasn’t just unhappiness about her situation with Caleb. It also was a deep fear Home for the Holidays might end in total disaster.
“You know you’re an idiot, right?” Zach Delaney told Caleb after Caleb relayed what had happened between him and Ava the previous day. Caleb had been standing out in front of the shelter, still helping people form a straight line when Zach walked over.
“I’m not sure in what precise way I’m an idiot, but I figure you’re about to tell me.”
“You broke up with Ava, didn’t you?”
Caleb blew out his breath, disgusted at himself for clinging so hard to his love for Ava. Why was it so difficult for him to let go? “Sort of, but how did you know that? Ava and I just talked it over yesterday.”
Zach shrugged. “I could tell something was wrong the minute I showed up and saw that scowl on your face and you’ve been avoiding going inside.”
“Maybe I’m scowling because this is such a madhouse. The crowd has been like this all morning. A stream of cars started driving past my house before dawn and I knew immediately what had happened and that Ava was unprepared for this, so Phil, Mort, and I came right over on the ATVs. I’ve been here directing traffic ever since.”
“I don’t think your foul mood has anything to do with the shelter and everything to do with Ava. Wanna talk about it?”
“I do not.”
Caleb was glad his friend was here to help with the crowd, but his relationship with Ava was none of Zach’s business. The reason it upset him didn’t have to do with the shelter. Ava hadn’t prepared for the onslaught of people, just like he’d warned her. Truthfully, though, he took no satisfaction in being right, but this event showed why he was smart to let her go.
They would never mesh. She loved to be spontaneous, while spontaneity stressed him out.
“You need to let her do things her own way,” Zach said. “It might not be your way, but that’s okay.”
“This is advice comes from a man who has been engaged for less than twenty-four hours?”
“Maybe, but I’ve known for years that I loved Suzannah. Just took me some time to stop being an idiot and let her know. So take it from an ex-idiot, you need to be smart about this.”
Except Caleb had already told Ava he loved her. In fact, it was his love for her that tore them apart. He loved her too much to tie her down.
Two more cars were pulling in, and Caleb directed them to the overflow parking with an orange baton.
“You need to think about what you want,” Zach said.
“As if I haven’t?”
“Don’t always think about what’s the smart thing to do. Suzannah and I both got caught up in that spider’s web. Instead, think about what you really want.”
Thing is, he wanted two conflicting things. Ava and his ranch, but he could not have both. Nor could he tell her about her father’s cancer diagnosis and her parents’ plan to close the shelter and move to town. It wasn’t his place, and he’d promised Marjorie he’d keep quiet.
Last night, he’d known ending things with Ava was the right thing to do, but today he was miserable, and his feelings had nothing to do with the overcrowded shelter.
Truth was, Caleb had no idea how to fix it.
“Friend,” Zach said, resting his arm on Caleb’s shoulder. “I only know one thing. When you find a woman you love with all your heart and soul, you have to pull out all the stops to win her or you’ll regret it for the rest of your life.”
“Yes,” Caleb said. “That all sounds good, but what do you do when it seems impossible?”