Annabelle was done quickly. She went to play in the living room, which was still a disaster zone. She was content to play by herself.
Logan and I kept up light and easy chatter while we finished up spaghetti with meat sauce. He was so easy to talk to that I found myself opening up about my life in NYC. All my habits, all my friends, and all my business chatter were topics of conversation.
“You sound like you love it there.” Logan pushed his plate away.
“I don’t know if I love it. I just know that there are opportunities for me in New York that I wouldn’t have anywhere else. But the same goes for Indiana. I don’t know if I’d put a kid in public school in New York, and Carmel’s education system is good. It produced us anyway.”
“True.” Logan gave me a half grin. “Although in my case, that could be an argument against it.”
“You’re being silly.” I gave his shoulder a playful shove. “You’re a successful businessman with a schedule you control and a beautiful little girl who is bright and cheerful. You have it all.”
“I don’t have a wife.”
Chapter 14
The words hung there in the air.
“I know.” We were verging on having a conversation that was a hell of a lot harder to have than just telling him where my friends and I got our happy hour drinks.
“Do you ever think you’d move back here?”
“Honestly, if you’d asked me that a week ago, I would’ve told you hell no. But I like the pace of life in Indiana. It will feel good to see cornfields again on the way to church.” I shook my head a little. “It’s easy to get wrapped up in the busy, hectic lifestyle that I have right now. I hardly ever stop to smell the roses, but Indiana offers something that New York doesn’t. I feel like I have room to breathe here and a little less pollution. You know Hamilton County is often considered the best place to raise a family.”
“I do. It’s part of why I’m still here.”
“Annabelle has everything she needs: a dad, a yard, a house with room for her to play… she’s lucky to have you as a father.”
“Romi couldn’t settle here. She’s living in Miami now. She comes back for Christmas, but she treats Annabelle like a baby and not a toddler, if that makes sense.”
“It does. Annabelle is as cute as a button, but she is independent. I wonder where she gets that from.”
“Romi, of course.” Logan and I grinned at each other. The former captain of the basketball team had an independent streak a mile wide.
Annabelle wandered over, rubbing her eyes. “I’m tired, Daddy.” Logan checked his watch. “Oh man, that’s the time. I need to get Annabelle scrubbed up and in bed now, if you’ll excuse me.”
“No problem.” He picked up Annabelle and hustled her into her bathroom. I started to clear the plates and found some Tupperware to put the leftover meat sauce in. I wiped down the table, too. I could hear Annabelle’s giggles as she splashed in the bathtub. After washing the dishes and putting them into the drying rack, I washed my hands on one of his dish towels and looked at the kitchen. It was a dream kitchen. I could already imagine making cookies with Annabelle. Logan didn’t have a mixer, but if I were staying, I’d buy one. One of the great joys of childhood was eating raw cookie dough.
I didn’t have this kind of envy when it came to other people’s children. Maybe it was because Logan and I had been together before. I didn’t know why regret was washing over me like a wave at high tide. Logan had a cozy life full of laughter and love, even if he didn’t have a wife. What did I have left waiting for me? I had good friends, like Bianca, and I had my publishing business. But I only needed to go to in-person meetings a few times a month, and I could probably fly in for a few days each month.
I shook my head. Planning to move back to Indiana was extremely foreign to me. I loved my life in New York, even though I had pretty much the same routine every day and nobody to come back home to. New York was for the careerist in me. Indiana was for someone who liked the slow lane a little more. I understood that Logan had sacrificed greater growth for his business by staying in Indiana with Annabelle. He had deftly kept the conversation about me rather than anything about him.
I was tired after a full day with Annabelle. She was cute, but her energy levels were very high. Logan came out with Annabelle in pink dinosaur pajamas. “She wants you to read her bedtime story.”
“What will it be tonight?”
“Goodnight, Moon.” Annabelle put her cheek down on Logan’s shoulder. “I like it.”
I sat down in her bedroom and read her the chosen bedtime story. She nodded off by the end. Logan stood and turned off the light before we snuck out. “I’m exhausted,” I said to him quietly. “I should turn in.”
“Sure.” He gave me a swift kiss on the cheek. “Thanks for making a scarf for her. My mom doesn’t really do that kind of thing.”
I went into my bedroom and changed into a set of pajamas. It was nothing fancy, just a monkey set of pajamas. I sometimes slept in less, but I wouldn’t do that in someone else’s house.
When I woke up, I was sweaty and too warm. I opened my eyes, and I realized I was in Logan’s bed. Oh no. How did I get here?
I was a chronic sleepwalker, but Logan’s arm was over me. He was snuggled in with me. I had to extricate myself without waking him up. I must have forgotten to go to sleep with the door locked, which normally kept me inside my bedroom. I shifted forward. Logan woke up.
“Why are you here?” he whispered.
“I think I sleep-walked here. I’m sorry.” I moved to get off the bed, but he tightened his arm.
“Do you want to sleep with me?” I knew Logan was talking about figurative sleeping because I’d already literally slept with him.
I wavered for a moment. I had a life I was getting back to. He was a lonely single dad. We didn’t have a future together, but I also could not pass up the chance to feel his lips on mine again. I answered him with a single word, “Yes.” Then my mouth was on his and he was kissing my throat, my ear, my cleavage, and all the other points that he knew drove me wild.
He knew how to get my clothes off in a few tugs. Then my breasts were bare; he loved nuzzling them. He trailed kisses all over my chest as I arched my back. His hands found their way between my thighs, gently parting them so that he could dive between them. His tongue found my clit without hesitation. I was shivering beneath him as he coaxed me to my first orgasm. He always said, “Ladies first.” Then, while I was still coming down from the high, he slid into me. I could feel the burn from taking his thick cock and squeezed my muscles around him. They were fluttering like crazy.
“Gonna,” he grunted before he shot into me. I luxuriated in the warmth. He carefully slid out of me and went to the bathroom. He was always good at aftercare. He cleaned up everything so gently it almost made me cry. I hadn’t had much time for romance in a long time. I wondered now what I’d lost by being so focused. The way that he touched me, he might have slept with me only yesterday. We used to be kids, carefully exploring what passion could bring. Now we were adults. I couldn’t cry here, but he came up and put a hand on my thigh.