“In San Francisco,” I answer carefully. “At a sushi restaurant.”
“Oh, do you live in San Francisco?” Tasha asks. “We were just there. We go every other year to spend Christmas with these Russian billionaire brothers, my husband’s like best friends with — it’s a super long story.”
“I love long stories,” I assure Tasha, hoping to distract her from her original question. I’m pretty sure telling Hayato’s sisters-in-law that I spend all but twelve days of my year in the North Pole — a pocket of space in between several multiverses — is definitely not on the list of “Things That Won’t Make Hayato Regret Bringing Me Here.”
“So do I,” Lilli answers. “But Hayato showing up out of the blue with a date automatically bumps your story to the front burner.”
Dread fizzles through me, but I can’t keep myself from asking, “So Hayato’s really never brought anybody else home?”
“Hayato has only ever come to our house one time, and he only stayed for a few minutes,” Lilli answers. Her voice is sister girl frank now that she’s got a glass of wine in her hand. “Seriously, I don’t think I’ve even ever seen him with the same woman more than once.”
“Probably because he only goes out with women with fees attached for showing up anyplace,” Tasha says, sucking her teeth as she rolls a chicken cutlet in some fine breadcrumbs.
“Right?!” Lilli agrees. “Which is crazy when you consider how hot he is!”
“But now he’s coming through for New Year’s Eve out of the blue,” Tasha says. “With you.”
Tasha and Lilli regard me with wide eyes. Like a magical being just showed up at their family celebration.
Which is technically true, but they obviously have no inkling that I’m an elf…or that Hayato is paying me to spend time with him just like he paid all his other dates. Actually, I have an uneasy feeling that they’d find it easier to believe I’m an elf than one of Hayato’s escorts.
“So you met him in San Francisco? When was this exactly?” Tasha asked.
“Um, almost a year ago?” I answer, an unsure note creeping into my voice. It feels like we’re treading into dangerous territory.
Both Lilli and Tasha gasp.
“Hayato’s been dating you for a year, and this is the first we’re hearing about it?” Tasha asks, her tone seriously offended.
Lilli shakes her head. “I mean, he’s always been closed off — really, he makes my husband look like the most expressive person ever. But why would he keep this from us? I mean, he has to know we’d be more than welcoming toward you.”
Oh dear… “Actually, we met and lost touch but then reconnected this year at a Christmas party. My cousin is married to someone who works for GoX. I was surprised to run into him again at um…that work party.”
To my relief, Lilli and Tasha look a bit mollified by my explanation.
But before they can grill me any further, I rush to say, “Look, I don’t want to offend you, but Hayato is a very private person. And I don’t think he wants me talking about our relationship. So I’m not going to do that with you.”
Tasha glares at me, and I brace myself to get cussed out. The mood is always happy and light in Santa’s workshop, but I’ve seen movies about real human families. From what I can tell, arguments are a central feature of all their holiday get-togethers.
But then a smile breaks out across Tasha’s face, and she raises her wine glass to me. “Looks like Hayato’s found himself a good one. Lilli, what you want to bet we’ll be seeing Miss Kristal again next year?”
“Nope, I’m not taking that bet,” Lilli answers with a laugh. “I’m cheap, and I don’t like to lose money.”
I let out a breath of relief, and the conversation flows much easier after that. We mostly talk about Lilli’s and Tasha’s fascinating backstories with Hayato’s brothers as Tasha makes katsudon and toshikoshi soba noodles from scratch.
Lilli’s many mentions of Norio, who she and Tasha both call No, makes me even more curious about Hayato’s missing brother. Was he emotionally unavailable like Hayato? Maybe he is the silent type like their half-brother, who I still haven’t heard utter a word though he’s come into the kitchen twice.
But much to Lilli’s disappointment, No’s helicopter isn’t cleared to fly before the sun sets. There’s also an uncomfortable moment when Tasha is pulling the katsudon out of the oven.
As it turns out, I know the mother-in-law of one of the Russian billionaires Tasha and her family always spend Christmas with. It’s none other than Marian. Or Grandma Claus as she’s called by us elves ever since she married Grandpa Claus, a.k.a. Kris Kringle, a.k.a. Santa Claus, a couple of Christmases ago.
“I swear she was even crazier than usual this year,” Tasha says as she slices up the deep fried pork and arranges the cutlets on a bed of rice. She told me earlier that katsudon isn’t a traditional Japanese new year’s dish. But she makes it every year for The Twins, who can’t tolerate eating noodles.
“Get this. She said Santa is getting ready to retire, and he’s trying to figure out who will take over for him. She even tried to convince Boris that he should take the job.”
“Oh, don’t worry, Kristal,” she says, mistaking the reason for my look of horror. “That’s another long story. You see, Marian got so delusional that our friend Boris and his wife decided to put her in what sounds like a really indulgent nursing home. And how’s this for a weird love story? After they put her in the home, she meets this guy who’s also delusional. Dude thinks he’s Santa Claus. So really, it’s a happily ever after. Because now Marian and her boo, Santa, can be delusional together.”
But I’m not horrified because I’m worried about Marian, who’s nowhere near as crazy as Tasha assumes. I’m horrified because this is the first I’m hearing of Santa wanting to retire. “But who could possibly replace Santa Claus?”
Tasha and Lilli stare at me for a shocked moment…then they burst out laughing as if I’ve just made the funniest joke ever.
“Right?!” Lilli exclaims. “Maybe Tim Allen!”
Then they laugh even harder when I ask, “Who’s Tim Allen?”
Other than that super disturbing tea about Santa retiring and No’s absence, New Year’s Eve with Hayato’s family goes perfectly. There’s no soba or katsudon at the North Pole, so I really appreciate the yummy dinner. After I’m done with the extra-long noodles, I scarf down some of the leftover katsudon Tasha made for The Twins along with a dark brown gravy rich in delicious umami flavoring.
“Oh, I like her,” Tasha declares after I ask for seconds, grinning at Hayato. “Thank you for deciding to date someone who knows how to eat.”
“We know how to eat!” Dallas and Montana chime together. Apparently, both boys are named after Dallas Montana, the guard that died trying to protect Lilli and Ruby from a home invasion. And if I’m not mistaken, that’s probably the ghost Hayato wants to help.
After dinner, Lilli escorts us to a room with a huge movie screen wall and stadium seating.
At first, I figure we’re going to watch a film together or something like that. But then Lilli calls out, “Who’s going first for karaoke?”