When I ask her about a toilet, she answers, "You can shower before lunch if you want to, but you don't have to use the toilet in the workshop."
And I realize it's true. The familiar urge to relieve myself in the morning is nowhere to be found. No wonder I was able to linger with her so long in bed.
It is all rather strange but somehow unsurprising.
Knowing what I do of Kristal and her kind, of course, she lives somewhere with plants growing from the walls and a forest floor underneath her feet instead of wood or tile. No doubt, she would house her extensive collection of comic books and graphic novels in a thicket of branches covering the entirety of one wall. And certainly, there should be what looks like a fairy rain shower embedded inside a tree in one corner with a large mushroom for a showerhead instead of the usual slab of metal with holes. I would expect nothing less.
After I'm done with my shower, she somehow presents me with a beautiful stew for lunch. And cookies. Both are technically delicious. But the food tastes like dust in my mouth.
"Sorry," she says when I set my utensils down after a few minutes, the bowl of stew barely touched, and one cookie only nibbled.
We both know she is not talking about the food.
Above us, Krista's chipper voice comes on the workshop's loudspeaker. "Just one more hour until the twelve happy ending ceremony. Also known as the absolute best day of the year—no offense Santa. Be there...or be so, so square!"
After that announcement, "just the two of us" starts playing at maximum volume.
"Do all elves recover from giving birth this fast?" I shout-ask Kristal over the blasting music.
"No, just Krista," Kristal answers. She winces. "And unfortunately, I had to draw Bill Withers's sketch for her as soon as I showed up on her doorstep. He’s going to die in March, and like I said, she really loves him. Like, really, really loves him. And I'm pretty sure this is her version of grief. So in a way, this all my fault too."
Guilt and regret flash across her open face as she tells me this. Kristal truly hates her gift. And another year in a workshop means she won't have to sketch a soon-to-be-departed one until Christmas. Perhaps that is the ultimate benefit she was speaking of earlier. I should be happy for her. I try to be happy for her.
But I can't be happy for either of us.
With the soon to be departed Bill Withers singing above us, I lead her back to bed.
47
Wonderwall
The twelve happy ending ceremony that evening is even grander than it sounds. It takes place outside of the workshop on the stage with full lights. And if that doesn't make it feel like enough of the concert, twelve famous drummers from twelve different rock bands play as Krista oversees the ceremony with a newborn baby tucked in a sling across her chest.
She calls each couple she has match-made over the twelve days of Christmas, backward from day twelve. Nurses, doctors, and even a couple of senior vice presidents from GoX who I didn't know were together now…or gay. Each couple comes up on the stage after of huge drum roll from their favorite rock 'n' roll drummer.
I don't recognize the older man at the end of the row of twelve drummers until Krista says that he used to play for Jefferson Airplane and ask for a round of applause.
Everyone cheers as the last drummer starts playing the soft intro to "White Rabbit."
"This year, we unfortunately only had one elf who matched for true love," Krista tells the crowd.
Her announcement is met with boos, which she laughs off. "I know a lot of you were disappointed about that, but let's find some elf spirit and give our biggest round of applause yet to Kristal and Hayato!"
I jolt at her announcement. Somehow I had forgotten about our crazy exchange when she insisted that Kristal and I were a True Love match. Christmas feels like that long ago.
"We don't have to go up there," Kristal whispers beside me. "People decline all the time. This is actually one of the only Happy Ending ceremony’s where I’ve seen all twelve couples show up."
But this is something she wants. I sense it like I sense my own heartbeat.
So I take her by the hand and lead her through the crowd.
Despite the boos from earlier, Kristal's fellow elves cheer louder for us than anyone else.
Then even louder when we get up on stage. And louder still when we give in to their demands to "Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!"
After we draw apart, Hugh jumps up on stage and takes the microphone from his surprised wife.
"One year ago today, I made a choice to believe in magic…to believe in true love," he calls out to the crowd. "And it was the best decision I have ever made."
This time, the crowd cheers so loudly, Hugh has to yell, "Pipe down, Kringles! Pipe down now!" before he can speak again.
"Three days ago, this woman made me the happiest man on earth. And I know she already said yes to my marriage proposal, but I wanted to give her another grand gesture. This time with our baby in her arms," he tells the mostly elf audience. "So I'm going to sing rather badly, and I would appreciate it if you dance along. It might make me sound better."
There's a chuckle from the audience. But we all come together and start swaying side to side as Hugh sings "Wonderwall" in honor of his wife and newborn baby.
"Thank you for doing this," Kristal says as I hold her close and sway. "I always wanted to take part in the Twelve Happy Endings ceremony. You made my dream come true tonight."
For a moment, I don't answer. I can't answer. I have never in my life felt so powerless.
But then I find myself asking, "What is your name? What is your real name?"
She reacts with a start. "You know about that?"
I nod. "Hugh told me. But, you don't have to tell me. I understand if you don't —
"It's Dorinda. Dorinda Green," she says before I can finish letting her off the hook. "But most people called me Dorie when I was a kid. I wanted to tell you. I wanted to tell you on New Year's Eve. But it didn't feel fair since I knew I had to leave. I figured it would only make it harder."
I asked the question, but my heart cracks at the answer.
Kristal… Dorie… she's right. Knowing her real name does make it harder.
I don't realize the stoic mask I've been wearing all day has fallen until Kristal begins to cry. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make it harder. I was so afraid of getting hurt, but now look at what I've done to you. To us. This is all my fault. And I'm so, so sorry…"
I pull her close, holding her tight to me while I still can. "Don't be sorry. You made this great sacrifice because you are kind and noble. From the beginning, you've only wanted the best for everyone. Even your one-night stand. This is what makes you, you. And this is the reason I will miss you while we are apart."
My words only make her cry that much harder.
But we continue dancing. Long after Hugh's song is done.
We dance and dance until she says, "Only twenty more minutes until the workshop blinks away from this dimension. Walk me home?"
My only option is to wait.
I walk her home, back inside the workshop.
And we’re not a J-Drama. But I feel like one of the more tragic ones when I pull her into my arms, hugging her tight. She's no longer crying, but she clings to me like she is.