Just once.
“And Kinsey.”
I ground my teeth together. “She never wanted Kinsey. She wanted to get high, and Kinsey was the outcome of that. She couldn’t pay the hospital bill, and they knew she was pumped full of drugs so she ran out, leaving Kinsey there. I miss my little sister, but I don’t miss the lying, stealing con-artist version.”
She looked like she wanted to argue with me, but it was a conversation we’d had time and time again. As Ryn’s mother, she wanted to defend her and keep working at it. She even tried to make me feel bad for cutting her off. All I had to do was point to Kinsey, and she stopped.
Days after my twenty-seventh birthday I had taken a tiny, underweight baby into my arms and made a solemn swear to protect her.
Even from her own mother.
No matter what.
Sunday was a complete and total waste. Kinsey spent most of the night screaming, and I spent the night bargaining with the banshee in my arms who likely didn’t understand a word I said while trying to soothe her. Thankfully the old building had thick brick walls, but I knew her anguish leaked through the front door.
I just prayed it didn’t disturb the neighbors too much.
We both spent the day napping on the couch, and when the evening rolled around, happy Kinsey was back.
“I’m so glad you’re in such a good mood,” I said as I looked down at her playing on the floor. “But can you sleep tonight so I’m not dead tomorrow when I see Thane?”
It wasn’t until I said his name that I realized what I’d done. For so long, I’d simply called him Carthwright. It was formal, off-handed in a way, with no personal attachment.
But Thane… It was casual, friendly, and invited a different sense of propriety.
I liked him. A lot, to my surprise. And I’d upset him so much that I wasn’t sure he could go back to the way it was.
Kinsey crawled over to me and pulled herself up, standing at the edge of the couch.
“Well look at you, nugget!” I smiled at the tiny tot before lifting her up. “I’m gonna have to baby proof more of this place, aren’t I?”
“Mm-mama,” she said.
A tear slipped from my eye and I pulled her against my chest. “Yes, beautiful girl, I’m Mama.”
It wasn’t the first time, because she always made that sound. I was only realizing that she said it while trying to get my attention.
I’d tried to keep a small amount of arm’s length in my heart, not calling myself her mother, but the fact was clear—I was her mother. Maybe not genetically, but that didn’t matter. I’d cared for her all but the first few weeks of her life, and I would care for her all the following days.
It was a new day, and a new attitude. Seeing Ryn reminded me why I said no to Thane, and I vowed to tell him this week. I just had to get back into his better graces.
For once, I actually arrived before him, and a few minutes before eight. Just as I set my bag down, I caught sight of him out of the corner of my eye.
He didn’t glare at me when he saw me, but he didn’t smile either. It was a neutral glance and that gave me hope that the week would be better than the one before.
“Good morning, Thane,” I said as he passed me.
He stopped and turned toward me. “Roe?”
I tilted my head. “Hmm?”
“Say it again.”
A smile broke out on my face. “Good morning, Thane.”
He gave me a small, warm smile that was encouraging. “I like that. Keep it up.”
I blew out a breath, happy that something so small could make him smile at me again. I still wasn’t ready to tell him about Kinsey, but I also couldn’t stand for the wall of last week to be between us any longer.
An hour later I tried to stifle a yawn, the back of my hand covering my mouth as I let out a high-pitched sound.
“Those are contagious,” Thane said from behind me, his mouth opening wide, unable to stop a yawn from moving through him.
“Well, if you were at your desk where you’re supposed to be, you wouldn’t have even noticed.”
“Maybe, but I came with a request.”
“And that is?”
“I have a conference call in twenty minutes I need to get ready for, and I need something stronger than the piss water that comes from the break room. Can you please get me a cappuccino from downstairs?”
I stood and blinked at him. “Did you just say please?”
His brow furrowed. “I say it all the time.”
I shook my head. “Not to me.”
He pursed his lips. “Are you sure?”
“Oh, I’d know if that word ever came out of your mouth.”
He stepped closer. “Forgive me for that.”
I turned to him and drew in a shuddered breath. Spice, grapefruit, and musk invaded my senses whenever he was near, and it made me want to walk right into his arms. Every single day I was nearly taken out by his scent, even the week before when we barely interacted.
I was kidding myself. Every day I was nearly taken out by him. There was no one factor that beat out the others. No, he was the whole package.
“You’re forgiven,” I whispered.
He reached out, the back of his fingers brushing against my arm. Goose bumps rose on my skin, and a shiver rolled down my spine. The buzz of electricity that always hummed between us grew louder.
“Are you ever going to wear that blazer?” he asked, his deep voice almost a rumble in his chest.
“When you buy it.”
“I’m still keeping score,” he said as he stepped back, a twinkle in his eye.
“Score?”
He nodded. “You’re winning, by the way. Handily. I just can’t seem to keep up with your wit.”
I stared at him, a bit confused. “I wasn’t aware we were playing a game.”
“The best never do. Cappuccino, one sugar. Get one for yourself. You look like you need it.”
“Are you trying to say I don’t look my normal spunky self?” I asked, realizing my mistaken word choice with the charge in the air between us.
“You know you can’t say words like that to me. I’ll spin it in a completely unprofessional way,” he said with a wink before heading back into his office.
I rolled my eyes. “You avoided my question, perv.”
He turned back around, a grin on his face. “You look beautiful, as always. You yawned before I came over, remember?”
Oh.
Right.
I bit down on my bottom lip and nodded. “Cappuccino, one sugar. Got it.”
Our eyes locked for a moment, and I felt a calmness wash over me that I wasn’t used to around him. With a tap of his hand on the door frame, he retreated back into his office and I headed off to the lobby coffee shop.
Things were already better and I wasn’t quite sure why, but it seemed that somewhere between my time off and the weekend, the stick shoved up his butt had released. Which was good, because I wasn’t sure how much more of that Thane I could take.
This Thane, though, I could definitely appreciate more of.
The week continued with our banter and flirtation back in place, but something still wasn’t quite right. There was an invisible wall between us that fell from time to time, but never went away.