The girls spoke over each other, trying to one-up the other as they showed off the toys they had brought with them. It took Kit a minute to get back to Frost’s comment. “I have no interest in a normal job, but thank you. Is Zep working?”
Frost led the way to his office and spoke over his shoulder. “Yeah. He’s about to leave, though. If you’re here in the next half hour, you’ll see him. He plans to stop by to get the girls on his way home.”
“Oh, okay.” He had done his friendship duty, so he felt like he should go. Frost was a good guy and Kit—reluctantly—liked him, but they weren’t as close as Kit was with Zep. “Well, I guess I should leave you to your work.”
Frost stopped him before he could get away. “Actually, if you don’t mind, can you hang out with these two for a couple of minutes while I run to the bathroom?”
“Sure.” Kit loved the twins. They were no chore. “Go. I’m good to hang out here.”
Frost didn’t hang around for Kit to his change his mind. Kit got it. He knew taking care of small kids was no easy feat. Frost probably never got to go to the bathroom.
Matthew appeared in the doorway. The girls squealed and ran to meet him. He dropped to his haunches and hugged them while patiently listening to all the same stories Kit had heard already this morning. Apparently, they were excited about these light-up fans their grammie had bought them. Kit couldn’t stop watching the interaction. Matthew genuinely cared what the girls had to say. It was obvious he cared about them. The moment struck Kit in a way he couldn’t articulate. He felt too much at one time. Kit could see the goodness in Matthew, and he was proud to know Matthew belonged to him. At the same time, he was completely terrified because Matthew was a great man and he had tied himself to Kit.
“You’re amazing with them.”
Matthew glanced up and smiled. “They’re kids. They haven’t learned to look for the worst in people yet. It’s refreshing.”
“Do you want kids?”
Something passed over Matthew’s features. It was gone before Kit could decipher Matthew’s thoughts. “No.” He went back to playing with the spinning fans with the girls.
Even though Kit was relieved Matthew didn’t want kids, since he didn’t either, there was still something bothering him. It was the way Matthew had said no. It was almost hard—like something dark drove his refusal. There were times when Kit felt like he didn’t know Matthew at all. In some ways, he didn’t. They never talked about their pasts, which was perfect as far as Kit was concerned. Still, living in the present wasn’t always simple. Kit wanted every side of Matthew, maybe most especially his secrets.
Frost reappeared. “Whew. Thank you. You have no idea how hard it is to get a bathroom break with two little girls.”
Kit forced a smile to his lips. “Matthew did all the entertaining, so no problem. I guess I should get back to my workout.”
Kit and Matthew spent several more minutes trying to leave while the girls fought to keep them there. By the time Kit closed Frost’s office door, he felt like he had already finished his workout.
“Whoa. I don’t know how they do it. That’s a lot of work.”
Matthew chuckled. “Just think. In a few months, they’ll have another one.”
Kit shook his head. He couldn’t fathom being tied down like that. Kit much preferred being selfish. He liked reading for hours and going wherever he wanted whenever he wanted to go. Being a parent wasn’t for him. Not to mention, Kit was completely fucked up and had no business being in charge of keeping another soul alive. He was so caught up in his thoughts that it took Kit a moment to realize how quiet Matthew was being.
“Are you okay?”
Matthew flashed him a bright smile. “Of course. I have you.”
The funny thing was, in spite of Matthew’s sudden disappearance inside himself, Kit still believed Matthew. He was completely fine because he had Kit. Kit linked fingers with him and skipped toward the yoga room, making Matthew laugh as he joined in. Everything was perfect. They had each other.
Everything was perfect. It was better than excellent. Matthew had never known so much happiness. There were still moments of blinding PTSD, but being with Kit made everything better. He hadn’t known life could be like this.
Kit helped him set up mats. Then they did a few stretching exercises before settling down to breathe. With his spine straight and the bottoms of his feet touching, Kit sat with his eyes closed. He looked peaceful. Matthew knew he should be focusing on taking mindful breaths. He couldn’t. His eyes refused to shut against Kit. Kit was perfect. His light brown hair was impeccably styled despite a morning of exercise. He had lips that begged to be savored. Even his long lashes fascinated Matthew. After Kit’s question about whether Matthew wanted kids, Matthew now realized they didn’t talk about the future. That was on Matthew. Talking about the future felt every bit as dangerous as talking about the past. Matthew didn’t know which way to go.
Matthew had been trying so hard to focus on the now that he hadn’t considered where they were headed. He was afraid to dream. Matthew had never seen a future for himself. He didn’t know how to plan for one with Kit. The thing was, though, Matthew wanted a permanent life with Kit. Kit had been living with him for two months now, and every day was immaculate.
While Kit focused on his breathing, Matthew silently shifted to his knees. His gaze never wavered from Kit. A half second before Matthew sprang, Kit's sexy brown eyes opened and latched on to him. Matthew tackled him to the floor. Peals of laughter bounced from the walls as Matthew playfully nuzzled Kit’s body, trying to tickle him.
“No. Stop. I don’t like to be tickled.”
Matthew went obnoxiously still on top of Kit, squashing him to the floor. “Okay. I won’t move.”
Kit halfheartedly shoved at Matthew’s chest. “You’re too heavy. You’ll flatten me.”
“You told me to stop.”
He could feel Kit’s laughter. “Fine. You win. I concede. You’re bigger and stronger.”
Matthew shifted his weight to his hands and knees. “I don’t believe it. You’re strong as hell. You could take me, if you wanted.”
Kit bit his bottom lip.
“Goddamn.” The whispered curse slipped from Matthew without thought. Looking at Kit always wowed him. He couldn’t believe Kit was here with him.
Kit pushed and twisted, flipping Matthew onto his back. A bright smile lit his face as he straddled Matthew’s body. Matthew blinked, trying to figure out how he ended up on his back. Kit never stopped amazing him. “Marry me.”
Kit threw his head back and roared with laughter.
Matthew didn’t back down. “I’m serious. Marry me.”
Kit dropped his chin. His eyes still swam with laughter. “You don’t want to be tied to my craziness forever.”
“Yes, I do. Marry me.”
The laughter in Kit’s expression slowly slipped away as the truth seemed to set in. “Oh. You really are serious.”
Matthew slipped his hands up Kit’s thighs. “I am. I knew when I met you last year that you were one of a kind. Every day since, that feeling has grown. There’s no one else for me.” Kit had no idea how true that last bit was. Matthew couldn’t and wouldn’t share his life with anyone else.