“Everything okay?” Audrey asks beside me.
“Yeah,” I say, flipping the phone over. “My ex-boyfriend is texting me, though. Nobody let me drunk-text him later, okay?”
“I’ll hold that for you,” Zara says, taking my phone away. “Even better—we’ll give this to your roommate. Catch, Kieran.”
Oh shit. I watch, panicked, while my phone arcs through the air toward the men returning from the kitchen. I can’t afford to replace that if it breaks. But Kieran lifts his hand immediately and the phone lands neatly in his palm.
“Friends don’t let Roddy text his ex-boyfriend,” Zara says. “Keep that till morning.”
All the boys are studying me now, curiosity in their eyes.
Luckily, the hockey game comes back on. Zara sits up straighter and yells, “Power play!” Whatever that means. Kieran tucks my phone into his shirt pocket and looks toward the TV.
All eyes are glued to the hockey, so I get up to make myself a bowl of chili with all the fixings.
Vermont doesn’t quite feel like home yet. But I suppose it could get there one day. The men are hot and the food is good.
It will have to do.
Kieran
I almost never get drunk.
In the first place, it’s expensive. Also, I’m the guy who usually has the forty-minute commute home. But not tonight. Griff’s in the mood to drink, because his pregnant wife can drive him home, and so we’re playing some kind of stupid drinking game that involves getting me a little drunker every time the guys calling the game use the word “stick.”
“Kieran has to do my shot,” Kyle says. “I’m done drinking for the night.”
“You could crash at your brother’s place,” Griff says. “Is there a spare bed?”
“Nope!” I say sloppily. “There’s barely any furniture at all.”
“Are you going to show us your pad?” Griffin presses.
“Sure,” I say. “After the game.”
When the time comes, I rise unsteadily to my feet. The alcohol is swimming through my bloodstream, leaving me feeling pleasantly loose and carefree. It had been too long since I’d hung out with this crew, and it was nice to just watch TV and talk smack with my brother and cousin.
I thank Zara for having me over. “Is there anything I can help you with?” I ask, giving her what is probably a sloppy grin.
“No.” She laughs. “Go home. Your more sober roommate already scrubbed the chili pot for me. Besides—you helped me out with a little childcare earlier.”
“That was nothing.”
“Don’t say that or I’ll ask you again.”
“You can,” I insist.
She grabs my shoulders and points me toward home. “Drink some water before you go to sleep.”
“Good plan.”
When I step outside, Kyle is puffing on a cigarette. “Two seconds, okay? I need it to wake up.”
“Filthy habit,” I say. Although I’ve been known to smoke after a party. I consider asking my brother for one, but then change my mind. The truth is that I don’t want to sober up right away. It’s nice to feel loose and carefree, for once. Although the cold November air is bracing in a good way, and I feel my head start to clear, regardless.
“Let’s see this place,” Griffin says, exiting Zara’s kitchen door a couple minutes later.
Kyle crushes the cigarette under his boot. “Cool. Let’s do it.”
“Pick that up,” I insist. “Don’t litter in my hood.”
With an eye roll, Kyle bends over to retrieve his butt, and then follows me across the yard and up the front path.
“Nice house,” Griff says.
“I couldn’t afford it if I were paying the market rate,” I admit, unlocking the front door.
“You need chairs on this porch,” my brother says.
“It can wait. I need a hell of a lot more than that.”
When we step into the living room, they chuckle at its barrenness. “You’ve got the couch,” Griff says. “But no TV?”
“Later,” I grunt. It’s not like I ever have time to sit down.
I show them the kitchen, where I spend a lot of my time, anyway. I toss my keys and phone onto the counter. Then I realize I still have Roderick’s in my other pocket, so I set it down where he’ll find it later.
“Hey,” Kyle says. “You didn’t tell me your roommate was a queer dude. Isn’t that kind of weird for you?”
Everything inside me sort of freezes up.
“Jesus.” Griffin gives Kyle a non-serious slap to the side of the head. “Don’t be that guy. What does Kieran care?”
“I only meant that maybe if he brings guys home with him, Kieran would have to listen to ’em…”
“Oh, shut it!” I sputter, finally finding my voice. “Jesus.”
That’s when I hear Roderick’s door close softly, as if someone has just attempted to shut it noiselessly.
“Oops,” Kyle says, and I want to punch him.
“He’s probably heard worse,” Griffin whispers. “But you could apologize, maybe.”
Kyle’s gaze flicks toward the back of the house. I can’t imagine what my boneheaded brother might say for an apology. He might actually make it worse.
“No,” I grunt. “I’ll talk to him.”
“Show us your room,” Griff suggests.
“Nah,” I say, suddenly eager for them to get gone. “Nothing there but a bed and a desk. I don’t even have a dresser, yet.”
“I think Mom has an extra one,” Griff says. “Want me to ask?”
“Sure,” I say, just hoping they’ll leave. “Thanks.”
Griff squeezes my shoulder. “Good to see you, dude. You’re pressing cider with me tomorrow night, right?”
“Yeah, but I’ll be late,” I point out. “Somebody has to water the cows.”
“Ah,” he says. “Is your dad doing better?”
“Still kinda rough,” Kyle says. “Progress is slow.”
They make their way out, and I say my goodbyes while trying not to sound hasty.
When they’re finally gone, I head toward the one place in the house where I never go—Roderick’s room. The door is shut, but there’s a strip of light showing beneath it. I knock. “Hey man, can I come in?”
“Sure.”
I open the door and find him lying on his back on top of his sleeping bag, hands folded behind his head. “What’s up?”
“I’m really sorry about that.”
“About…?” He looks confused.
“My brother talking like a doofus. Maybe you didn’t hear him. But he was wondering whether…”
He holds up a hand to stop me. “I heard him fine. But—like your cousin said—I’ve heard worse. Kyle was just thinking out loud, displaying his discomfort with listening to two guys get it on. I hated it for you much more than for me.”
“Why?”
Roderick sits up and looks me right in the eye.
“Oh,” I say slowly. “Yeah.” Because I’m not as straight as Kyle thinks I am. And won’t that be a fun little chat someday? I can’t even imagine.