“Are you sleepy?” he asks.
“No.” But that doesn’t mean I want this quiet moment to end.
“What time are we supposed to go to your aunt Ruth’s?”
“We’re due at three,” I say, which is hours from now. Feeling tender toward him, I roll onto his body and kiss him again. I love the feel of his hard body under mine. And I love the way he gazes up at me, smiling. “Did you get enough breakfast?” I seem to remember he didn’t eat much of it.
“Yeah, but I didn’t get enough coffee.” He runs a hand through my hair. “I made a pot and then forgot to drink it when—”
His gaze flicks to the side. He startles and his eyes get wide.
I crane my neck to follow his gaze. But by the time I do that, my cousin Griffin is already turning away from my bedroom door. A beat later, his feet pound down the stairs.
“Oh, shit,” Roddy breathes. “Oh my God. Where did he come from?”
That did not just happen. That did not just happen.
I leap out of bed, as if that makes any sense at all. As if I could undo the scene that Griff just stumbled upon. I duck into the bathroom and turn on the shower. Not waiting for the water to heat, I step under the cold spray and rinse the sex from my body. It’s only fitting that my whole body is covered with goosebumps.
Griffin saw me in bed with Roderick. Holy shit.
I cannot imagine what Griff is thinking right now. I didn’t see the look on his face. Was it disgust? I shiver, and I don’t even know if it’s the cold water or the situation.
Less than two minutes later I step out of the shower to find Roderick standing there, fully dressed. He hands me a towel. “Baby, he’s still out there,” he says quietly. “I can see his truck from the bedroom window. I think he’s waiting for you.”
“Shit.” I have no idea what I’m going to say.
“I’m really sorry,” he whispers.
“Not your fault,” I grunt.
“I know but…” He groans. “Christmas dinner.”
“Yeah.” That only makes the whole thing about a hundred times worse. In a couple hours I’m supposed to look my entire extended family in the eye.
And Griff got an eyeful of me naked on top of Roderick. My day went from terrific to horrific in the space of five minutes.
Cursing, I stumble into my jeans and yank on a shirt. I walk downstairs like a man headed for the gallows. When I step into my shoes and open the front door, Griff is sitting at the top of the porch steps, his back to me.
He doesn’t turn around, and a little bolt of fear runs down my spine. Besides Kyle, Griff is the person I’m closest to. I can’t stand the idea of him turning his back on me.
Then he moves over a bit, making room for me to sit beside him, and I feel just a millimeter better.
I sit down and wait, while Griff studies his hands. Eventually he clears his throat. “Talk,” he says. “Is this a new thing?”
That’s surprisingly hard to answer. “Yes and no? I don’t know. I never dated anyone before now. But, well…” I’m so uncomfortable right now that I wish I could just disappear from this Earth. “I guess it’s been a long time coming.”
“I had no idea,” he says to his shoes. “None. You never said a word.”
“No kidding.”
“Why?” The word is surprisingly harsh. “My sister is bisexual. You know we don’t care.”
“But it’s weirder among guys,” I say quietly. It sounds like a cop-out.
“Is it? If Dylan was gay, I wouldn’t feel differently about him…” Griff puts his head in his hands. “Shit. I’m not trying to make this about me. Never mind. I’m just surprised, that’s all. That you’d carry that around and not tell anybody. Is this why you moved out of your house?”
Yes. “Partly. I was just so stuck in a rut at home. Dad and I fight. Kyle doesn’t step up, even though he’s supposed to run the place with Dad.”
Griffin lifts his head and looks me in the eye for the first time. “Does Kyle know about you and the baker? He doesn’t, does he?”
I shake my head.
“That one time he was shooting off his mouth about you living with a gay guy. Jesus. You must have wanted to strangle Kyle.”
“A little,” I admit. “But Kyle isn’t the big problem, okay?”
“Who is? Your dad?”
“Yeah. It’s like…” There’s no way I can make Griffin understand, because he doesn’t know my other secrets. “I’m not ready to come clean about Roderick, because it’s one more thing for Dad to comment on. I don’t want to discuss my personal life.”
My cousin listens quietly. “Okay. I get it. Sort of. I won’t say anything when I go home. Or later today.”
“Ugh.” Fucking holiday. “Why did you, uh, end up in my bedroom anyway?”
Griffin laughs. “I brought you a dresser. Remember I said I’d ask my mom?”
“Oh. And she just had a dresser lying around?”
“Yeah. Anyway, I loaded it into the truck and also took six pies to the church for their Christmas supper.” He points at the church, just across the green. “Two birds, one stone, right? You didn’t answer your door, but it was open, and I heard music. Your kitchen has breakfast all over the counters—thanks for that strip of bacon, by the way—and since nobody answered when I called your name, I went upstairs.”
It all makes perfect sense. And now my face is burning up again.
“You can bet I won’t make that mistake again.”
I let out a groan.
“Looking you both in the eye this afternoon will be a little tricky, since I’ll be trying not to laugh.” He lets out a snicker. “Roderick is coming over, right?”
“Yeah,” I say in a low voice. “He has nowhere else to go.”
“Oh right—Mom said something about his parents being dicks.”
“Aunt Ruth did not use the word dick.”
“I’m paraphrasing.” He grins.
That’s the moment I know that Griff and I will be okay. Kyle wouldn’t understand, and Dad might treat me like a freak show, but Griffin and I will be fine.
“So let’s unload this fucker, okay?” Griff stands up and walks down toward his truck. “If I don’t get home soon, Audrey is going to ask what took so long. And I’m going to have to make up some shit about an alien abduction or something so as not to let the world in on your big secret, if you’re not willing to tell.”
“I am not willing to tell.” I follow him down to the truck, and he lets down the tailgate.
Griff hops up on the truck and slides the furniture toward me. “Ready?”
“Let’s do this. But, uh…” We lift at the same time and I ease the dresser back slowly, giving Griffin a chance to join me on the ground again. “We can’t carry this into my room right now.”
“Why not?”
“Can’t walk in there with you yet. Maybe not ever.” The bed is right there. I’m still embarrassed.
“It’s okay—I’m stopping on the way home for eye bleach,” he says.