Shook my head, rejecting the notion. Nope. Didn’t believe it. Wouldn’t I have sensed something if she was gone? The bastard was trying to pull a fast one.
“If she’s dead, where’s her body?” Kyle asked.
“Yeah.” I shoved the pastor’s chest. “Where’s her body?”
“We buried her last night, next to Chimney and Nicole’s boys.”
I got in his face. “Exactly where?”
“Close to the tree line, past the dock,” Deacon Morris spoke up. “I can show you.”
Brushed past him, heading outside.
“Mackenzie left you a farewell letter,” Pastor Bill called, stopping me dead in my tracks. I turned. He pulled an envelope out of his pocket and held it out to me. “I promised the dear child that I would give it to you personally.”
My hands shook as I snatched it from him. My hands never shake. The Ripper was an ice man, cold to the bone, imperturbable. So why were my fucking hands trembling as I opened the letter?
“RIPPER” was written in capital letters across the top of the page. “First things first. I love you. I wish I’d had the guts to tell you that before now, but I think I was afraid that the man who never lies to me would break my heart by saying that he didn’t love me back. And I was too chicken to risk that. Now that I have the flu, and my time is running out, I wish I’d been braver. I wish for a lot of things, but mostly for more time with you. I love you. See! The words come easily now that I’m staring down death. Maybe it’s not fair to tell you now. Maybe I’m being selfish to put the words out there when you can never respond, never tell me how you feel. If so, I’m sorry, but I need to speak my truth. Listen, even if you don’t love me back, it’s okay. Don’t feel bad. I’m grateful for our time together, for your kindness to me and Miles. For everything you taught me. For everything you did to keep me safe. For the best sex ever!!! Please try to be happy and make a good life. Stay connected to good people like Kyle and Sahdev. Crap, my head hurts and I have to stop writing. I love you. I couldn’t resist saying it one last time. I hope to see you on the other side. Take care of yourself and give Hector a pat from me. Yours, Mac.”
I hunched over, feeling like somebody had punched me in the gut. The words sounded like Mac, but maybe...maybe...I looked at Kyle, who’d known Mac longer than me. He’d stood at my side reading the letter, too. Kyle shook his head, his face tight, his eyes full of pain.
“I’m sorry, man. That’s Kenzie’s handwriting. She wrote that. She’s really dead.”
NINETEEN
Ripper
“After such a shocking loss, I’m sure you won’t want to linger in a place filled with so many painful memories,” Pastor Bill said. “The deacons will take over the hunt for the bomber. We’ll avenge Vince and poor Tyler.”
He dug in his pocket and held out a key dangling from a leather Harley-Davidson bar-and-shield keychain. I fixed my eyes on the leather fob, staring at the swaying key, only dimly aware of the pastor’s words.
Mac’s dead?
“Nicole asked me to give you this,” he continued. “She has no use for her late husband’s motorcycle, and since yours was damaged in the accident, you’re welcome to take Chimney’s.” He glanced at the sky. “There are still several hours of daylight left. You could leave now. Or perhaps spend the night here and rest up for the next stage of your journey, then depart in the morning. In any case, it’s time for your people and mine to part ways.”
He clapped me on the shoulder, a phony gesture of sympathy from a man I despised. Ordinarily, I’d shrug off any contact from such a man—or deck him—but the touch registered only in some remote part of my brain. He offered some platitudes to Kyle and Sahdev, then he and his deacon stepped off the porch.
“Excuse me, Pastor Bill?” Sahdev said.
“Yes?”
“Where’s Nicole? Why isn’t she here?”
“Oh, yes, Nicole. She’s helping my wife Rebecca with some chores. I imagine she’ll be staying with us for a few days. You know how women are.” He laughed. “Give them a chance to gossip and compare notes about cooking and housekeeping, and it would take the proverbial team of horses to tear them apart. I’m sure Nicole will be sad that she wasn’t able to say goodbye to you all, but I’ll give her your best wishes.”
“Please do so,” Sahdev said.
Their conversation was like a buzzing in my ears. I heard it. I understood the words, but they carried no weight. Instead, they floated around me like those soap bubbles kids like to blow. Insubstantial. Meaningless.
Mac was dead?
Couldn’t wrap my head around the idea. Death and I were old acquaintances. I’d lost many friends, many brothers, over the years. Their loss had cut deep, but no matter how much I’d raged against their fate, I’d never questioned whether or not they were really gone.
Why’d my mind balk at the notion that Mac was dead?
Tires crunched on the gravel. The sound of the car’s engine faded as Pastor Bill and Deacon Morris drove away.
“Did you hear what Pastor Bill said?” Sahdev asked.
Kyle had dropped down onto a step and buried his face in his arms. He lifted his head and looked at the doctor, a shell-shocked expression on his face.
“What?” Kyle asked.
“Did you hear what Pastor Bill said?” Sahdev repeated.
I swung my gaze toward him, then shrugged.
“When he told us that they’d take over the hunt for the bomber, he said that they’d avenge Vince and poor Tyler.”
“So?” Kyle mumbled.
“Tyler died yesterday. The only people who knew of his death were the three of us, and Deacon Gary. Think about it. The pastor was waiting here to talk to us. Gary hasn’t returned yet. So how did Pastor Bill know about Tyler’s death?”
I frowned while Sahdev’s words sunk in. Yeah. How the fuck did Pastor Bill know about Tyler’s death? Unless…
“Gary carried a two-way radio—one of those powerful ones that hunters use—and was reporting in to the pastor. When he wandered off to take a piss, or when he lagged behind us on the trail, he was talking to Bill. Probably gave him a heads-up that we were on our way back. That’s why the pastor was here waiting for us.”
“What does that mean?” Kyle asked.
“For one thing, it means that when Pastor Bill sent us on this mission his men were reporting back to him, and we had no idea,” Sahdev said. “Why would they keep their communication a secret?”
“Dunno.” A small seed of hope took root. “They don’t like us much, but it could be more than that. We know they reported on what we were doing and gave the pastor a warning when we were coming back. We show up. Bill and Morris are here. My old friend Nicole is absent. And Bill tells us that Mac is dead. Damned convenient if you ask me.”
Kyle shook his head. “You’re forgetting Kenzie’s goodbye letter. Her handwriting. Pastor Bill didn’t make that up.”
“No, if the letter is in Kenzie’s hand, he didn’t make it up,” Sahdev agreed. “But that’s not to say he didn’t manipulate events. Think about it. When we left, Kenzie was unconscious. If she started to regain consciousness, how would she feel?”