“You do?”
“Pres, I’m not gonna get upset if a memory pops in your head; just share them with me. I may not remember it, but I can envision myself saying that. I can picture a moment like this, and if it brings you happiness, then it makes me happy. There’s no reason you should feel bad about reliving stuff we went through.”
“Then, I’ll share all my memories with you.”
“I’d like that.”
“And for the record, we wouldn’t have gone far, your whimpers just now were already starting to get a little loud.”
I pop my head up in shock, “They were not!”
“Oh. But they were, and they were beautiful. I thoroughly enjoyed tasting them. One day it will happen for us, but for now, I think this is as good as it’s gonna get.”
He places a series of smacking kisses against my lips, and I soon slide off of him and nestle in against his side, falling asleep as he pulls a blanket over us.
“Good night, Robert.”
“Good night, princess.”
*****
I’m awoken by the chirping of my text message notification. Nothing important, just Trey letting me know they’re leaving and a reminder that we have the Alumni Baseball game coming up this week.
Presley’s body twitches against mine, our legs intertwined as I wonder what she’s dreaming about. I take a picture of the two of us and set it as my home screen. I don’t know if it was because my mind was clouded with Heather, or if I wasn’t ready to face the truth, but if Presley and I dated, and we were in fact as close as I was told, then I could read our entire relationship through our text messages. I knew I had to try to remember us for her. I didn’t want to be the reason she felt bad while remembering something good or funny between the two of us.
I scroll through my messages, find her name and start at the very beginning, the night she texted me a thank you for the ride home and for being her tutor. Page after page I watch us evolve, candid photos we took, what I’m sure are inside jokes, the first I love yous, plans for our future, words of encouragement and moments she was proud of me, and our last text message.
“I am so proud of the man you have become. I know you never planned on becoming a professional pitcher, and it’s gonna take some time, but I can't wait to see what’s in store for our future. Rain or shine, you’ll always be mine. You’re gonna do great tonight. I’ll see you afterward. All my love, xoxo”
I read and reread the message a dozen times. Each time becoming more and more choked up. She never left, even when she could have, she was patient throughout everything, just waiting on me to come to her.
I can see how bad I hurt her by spending time with Heather, and yet here she was, snuggled up next to me, holding me as if I were her world. Her last words to me before falling asleep were, “I love you.” Even through everything I put her through, she still loved me and she was still going to Arizona just to be close to me. She had no way of knowing when I would come to her, but she never stopped putting me first. I had to remember our time together, not for me, but for her.
-----
The next four weeks blew by in a cloud of dust. The baseball team went on to win state. Presley and Liv were at every game with Marcus, and it seemed as though their relationship was getting better.
Mom found a psychologist that specialized in experimental amnesia therapy, and I was slowly gaining a few of my memories back. I didn’t say anything to Presley because I didn’t want to get her hopes up, but some memories were beginning to stick out for me. My favorite at the moment was our first kiss, the day she found out that I was actually Robert. Once I had that memory back, the others slowly started filling in.
Presley had been busy working on her valedictorian speech for the last week; so it allowed Mom, Tina, and I a chance to finalize everything for her graduation surprise. She had given me so much the last few months I knew I wanted to do whatever I could to make sure her dad saw her walk across the stage for graduation.
Mom and Tina were on the phone every day, checking on his progress and pushing for an early release, Tina called last night saying she was on her way to pick Mr. D up from the airport. He was staying with us for the night, and she would pick him up on the way to the graduation ceremony while I picked Presley up for graduation.
Coach found out earlier in the week that I needed to be in Arizona the week after graduation. I had asked Presley multiple times to come with me, but she isn’t ready to make that commitment just yet.
When I pull up to the ranch, she’s waiting outside for me, notecards in hand as she reviews her speech over and over. It reminds me of her first test after I became her tutor; she spent the entire lunch period going over her flashcards, shuffling them this way and that until I gripped her knee and reassured her that everything would be okay.
I don’t even try to speak to her on the drive to graduation, she’s so focused on being perfect right now. I can't believe the amount of stress she puts herself through. I insert my hand in between her flashcards and intertwine our fingers, pulling her from her concentration as we pull up to the high school auditorium.
“You’re gonna do great, Presley. Give yourself a break and relax. Just remember, if you get nervous, look at me. I’ll help you.”
She gives a weary smile before her door is ripped open by Liv and she’s pulled out.
“Where have you been? We need to rehearse once more. I don’t know why I’m so nervous.”
Presley kisses my cheek and is then whisked away to a separate holding room.
*****
All the teachers are bustling around, getting everybody lined up alphabetically. I’m at the beginning of the line since I’m a D, and Robert is in the back since he’s a W. My heart begins to race; a lump settles in my throat. This is it, the last time the five of us will be in the same place at once, the final moments of our childhood quickly ticking to an end, once we step out the front doors we will be seen as adults, and we will be expected to act as such.
The graduation march plays over the loudspeakers, and I take one final look at Robert before I walk through the curtain. I make my way up on the stage and take my place next to the vice principal and the salutatorian. I skim the audience looking for my mom and Diane and see a figure I haven’t seen in almost eleven months.
The lump in my throat tightens as the first few tears roll down my cheeks; somehow, some way, my daddy is standing beside my mom, the biggest, proudest smile illuminating his face. I give a small wave before looking out to Robert, who mouths, “I love you,” and I signal him back.
Principal Stewart addresses the crowd and gives a short speech on the hard work that our graduating class is to be proud of. He notates the awards and recognitions of our senior class and the salutatorian gives his farewell speech; focusing on the important role the faculty and staff had in preparing us for the next step in our lives. Liv follows his speech with her UIL performance piece that tied in perfectly as a dedication to our teachers. As I look around the room, I notice that several of the teachers as well as parents seem to be touched by her performance.
Next, Vice Principal Herder gets up to give her farewell speech. Her voice lacks inflection and passion, and I end up counting the number of students nodding off just to keep my focus. Pretending to listen to her might have actually been the hardest thing I had ever done in my entire high school career. As she finishes her speech, I perform my UIL piece, barely making it through without choking up with tears.