“You’re such an ass,” Baseball Cap replied wearily, sounding like he’d like nothing better than to escape out that window he’d been staring out of.
Not sure why, but I felt a mysterious pang shoot through me when Baseball Cap didn’t even give me a cursory glance. To my absolute horror, tears started smearing my eyesight as I headed back to the galley. I absolutely must get this under control before I returned to the battlefield. Could not let my enemies see me cry. Show no weakness. Daddy’s motto played in a continuous loop in my mind as I plowed into the ice with their cups.
Norma came bustling around the corner then, always surprising me by moving so quickly for such a large woman. “Katie, what in Sam hell is takin’ so long with their order?” She stopped to size up my face. Tears trickled down my cheeks, traitors in my war against losing control. “Oh, honey! What’s the matter?” she instantly cooed.
I knew I didn’t deserve her sympathy, and the knowledge that I let her down made me cry. While she burped me over her shoulder, I choked out a mini version of the story.
“Hmmmph! We’ll just see what those two . . . two . . . high-falootin’ boys have to say for themselves!” With that, she snatched the drinks from my hands and marched to their booth.
I couldn’t help but peek around the corner to see what would transpire. Both guys sat up in anticipation of the freight train headed their way. Loaded glances were exchanged as she set their drinks down purposefully before confronting them. Oh man. What had I got Ms. Norma into? They would surely make mincemeat out of her. I could practically hear the jokes before they were told, and closed my eyes against the slaughter I was about to witness.
Before I could step from behind my lookout post to rescue her, I saw Ms. Norma’s chins wobbling with the force of her words. Maybe she can hold her own better than me? I felt irritated because I couldn’t hear what was going on. Baseball Cap and Ranger seemed to be murmuring politely back to Ms. Norma and turning the full force of their abundant male charms on her.
Ugh. I could see she was going to buy whatever they were selling her by the way she leaned over, offering up a view of her mountainous peaks. Oh brother.
“Why thank you, boys!” Her coarse voice suddenly went up a few obvious octaves. She patted Baseball Cap on the arm matronly before rubbing it like a fine cashmere sweater she longed to buy.
Felt like throwing up in my mouth.
Then she turned her attention back to Ranger and declared the drinks were on her. He smiled broadly, all brilliant teeth and charm, and thanked her for her southern hospitality. My eyes blinked at the sudden transformation. A real life Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde was sitting in that booth. And just like magic, he’d hoodwinked her into a free dinner.
Are you kiddin’ me? I felt totally betrayed, by both parties really. Them, for not being the arrogant asses they were two minutes ago, and her for not seeing through their little act. Although I had to admit, they were very convincing. Maybe they really are movie stars?
That’s just like life, I thought bitterly. The rich just kept on gettin’ richer.
Ms. Norma was heading back all pink-cheeked and perky now that she’d basked in the glow of the royal highn-asses. I ducked back around the corner and began wiping down clean counters.
“Katie!” I braced for it. “Now I just talked to those two nice young men out there.”
Oh, so now it’s “two nice young men.”
“And I want you to know the type of behavior you displayed today is completely unacceptable.”
That’s what I call a one-eighty.
“Those two gentlemen informed me they nicely explained their dietary restrictions to both you girls. That Beatrice . . .”—she arched one penciled-in eyebrow—“was more willin’ to accommodate them than you were! And the one with dark hair said you were just plain rude when they requested that you remake their drinks to their satisfaction.”
“B-but that’s not—”
“But nothin’. Now I don’t care that you felt ruffled cause you messed up their drinks. That’s your problem.” I tried protesting again, but she sealed my lips with a bedazzled fingertip and leaned in so close I could smell the stale cigarette and peppermint gum on her breath. “What I do care about, however, is the way you treated them. They’re payin’ customers. If they weren’t just passin’ through, I would likely fire you!”
She wilted me with a look. “That is never, ever gonna happen again. Do you understand?”
I ducked my head in defeat. “Yes, ma’am.”
“Now get back out there and show those two hunky visitors the kind of hospitality that Norma’s is known for!” And she said the words without one iota of irony, too.
My stomach felt queasy at the thought of facing them again. To tell you the truth, I’d rather wait on a couple of rattlesnakes. If she likes them so much, why doesn’t she do the honors?
As if reading my mind, she said, “And the dark one, with killer-blue eyes, specifically asked for you to be given a second chance. Pretty damn big of ‘im, if you ask me.”
Dark. Killer. Big. I wondered how inadvertently perceptive her Ranger adjectives were, and my feet stood in protest.
She double-fisted her wide hips. “You’re testin’ my patience, Katie.”
After a booty-scoot from Ms. Norma, I slunk back out there, dreading it like a soldier returning to the battlefield. Maybe I just need thicker skin? They’re just a couple of regular customers hassling me and nothing more, I tried convincing myself. I dared a quick peek at them. Yeah right—Batman and Superman couldn’t be more conspicuous sitting in that booth.
Okay, fine. So they weren’t exactly regular customers, but maybe they’d just ignore me now that they’d accomplished getting me into trouble and received a free meal to boot. No such luck. For as soon as I approached their table, they both vied for my attention. It was weird and confusing, kind of like trying to focus on a split screen TV.
Ranger was definitely gloating now, twirling his fingers and smirking. Baseball Cap gave me an apologetic smile, sympathy softening his dark eyes before he returned them to his phone, leaving me nowhere to face but enemy number one. Gah! . . . Baseball Cap was dangerously good-looking. I had to remind myself he was dining with the enemy.
“Good to see you back again, Glasses!” Ranger greeted me gleefully. “Hope we didn’t get you in too much trouble.” His tone indicated the opposite.
I shrugged through the place where words should’ve been. Ranger was extremely good-looking, too, I had to concede. And dangerous. It positively oozed from his pores. I would have to tread carefully and turn the other cheek—no matter what.
“I was afraid we’d be stuck with good ole Norma,” Ranger continued, aiming his sarcasm at Baseball Cap now. “Kind of like going from bad to worse, if you know what I mean. And I definitely don’t like getting the short straw. Or in this case—the fat one.” He paused to grimace. “Looking at all those rolls would’ve probably killed my appetite. And we can’t have that, right, Glasses?” He swung back my way. “. . . Seeing as how dinner’s on the house.”
I looked blankly at him, waiting for him to finish.
“Oh, geez. I see I’ve confused you now. I don’t literally mean dinner is on the house. What I mean is, thanks to you, it’s gratis.”