Caught off guard, Pete froze, eyes going wide with surprise tinged with something else that should’ve frightened me. All this happened in a nanosecond before he closed the shutters to his soul. “Old enough to know better,” he said.
After this pearl of wisdom and a sigh, he remained facing me, eyes closed, lips parted. I took this as a green light to do the thing I’d been wanting to do for a long, long time. The most natural thing in the world—pressing my lips against his to test their firm fullness.
“Kate . . .” He gently tugged me backwards. “You’re not in your right mind.”
I sighed and resigned my head back to the cold pillow. “’m never in my right mind when I’m ‘round you.”
He chuckled, put his mouth to my ear. “I know the feeling.” His warm breath tingled all the way to the base of my spine. I squirmed closer, slung an arm around his back, and pressed into him. Mmmm. Nice. “You’re testing my self-control,” he said, but he didn’t move.
“Good.” I pecked him on the lips. “You have too much of it already.” My fingers began to explore the planes of his face, and were just moving to trace the sharp angle of his jaw, when he snorted and took my hand.
“Not where you’re concerned,” he said.
“Coulda fooled me.” I ran my free hand through his hair, feeling the texture that waved its way through the softness. I took a breath. “I guess I’m plain terrible at this seducin’ stuff—not really sure how,” I admitted lamely, dropping my hand with a voluminous sigh.
“Coulda fooled me,” he whispered, then gave in to run one hand along the curving shape of my body, pausing on the hill to grasp the jut of my hip.
My breath hitched. Our eyes locked. I tugged at his shoulder, my lips already parting. But Pete closed his eyes against me and dropped his hand. He let out a throaty growl and rolled onto his back, one hand splayed above his head as if in half surrender. I almost growled back. Instead, I took advantage of his belly-up position by leaning over his exposed neck to do my own deep breathing. Sighed with deep satisfaction. I kissed the side of his throat, feeling slightly silly. Was that okay? I was so sure and unsure at the same time.
“Kate . . .” he growled.
“Hmmm?” Suddenly, I had a very strong notion our bodies should be horizontally attached, so tried to attempt that very thing. That wasn’t so bad . . . was it?
“What are you up to now?”
“Umm, layin’ on you. No wait . . .” I changed my mind. That sounded stupid. “Huggin’ you?”
Pete chuckled deep in his throat. I could feel the vibrations hum their cheerful way into my heart as I managed to straddle myself across the controlled cadet without any more protest. I had him pinned now, as we faced each other in the dark.
“What am I gonna do with you?” he breathed up at me.
Leaning over boldly, I offered up a challenge: “That’s what I’d like to know.”
Pete deliberated a heartbeat. As though of its own volition, the hand above his head moved to my face. And in the same manner, my face moved to fit the contours of his palm. Using the pad of his thumb, he traced my lower lip. My breath caught while I waited for his next move— carefully sliding his hand behind my neck, he drew me to him. He was done with the resisting. His intent was clear. Like magnets closing the distance, our hungry lips met. A few skipped heartbeats happened where our mouths sunk together in a long, sumptuous kiss that left me reeling and breathless for more.
I only felt sensation, wasn’t thinking with my brain at all. It was turned off. Closed for the night while my body took over. I pressed into him, longing to feel the architecture of his body, his hard against my soft. I wanted to absorb his heat, the essence of him. And like our bodies, our minds were in sync because his well-behaved hand strayed under my hemline the same time my hand raked up his shirt. Strong arms fastened around me, so that our bodies melded together as we made out like bandits on top of my wagon-wheel bed.
The pleasant humming in my throat turned up to a moan. I heard his answering groan as he cupped me to him. I felt his careful restraint waning, his body’s responses heating up despite his best efforts. So euphoric!—my last thought, right as an overdue surge of dulling depressant coursed through my bloodstream from my quickened pulse. The lights started to go out in my body now, way before I was ready.
Oh no! . . . Not now!
“Kate?” stirred my hair as I drooped over him. “Did I hurt you?” I pressed lazy lips to his hot throat before snuggling up on my favorite place on earth— his chest.
“Kate?” I felt more than heard him sigh in frustration.
“Hmm? Sorry . . . so sleepy,” I slurred.
He chuckled softly, tickling my ear. “You’re hurting my ego here—I’m pretty sure I’ve never put anyone to sleep before.”
“Mmmm . . .” I was almost gone.
“Guess it’s for the best,” he murmured, slowing the stroking on my back to a more leisurely pace.
I wanted to argue, but I was down for the count.
34
CAUGHT RED-HANDED
I awoke to the pneumatic drillers in my head again. Opened a peep-eye to find him still sleeping, as though posed by Walt Disney himself: on his back, mouth closed, errant forelock falling over his forehead, managing to make him look both mischievous and sexy. My heart studded to a stop with the force of emotion I felt for this boy—this man, I automatically corrected myself.
Ugh! How could I be in so much bliss and so much pain at the same time? They seemed to be completely incongruent feelings, but here they were comingling. Like us.
Apparently, I’d been zonked out half on him with my face smooshed into his chest, his arms wrapped around me, the beating of his heart in my ear. This was even better than spooning. I inhaled deeply, then couldn’t take it anymore, the dull throbbing of my head forcing my hand. Dang it! I had to get some meds in me before it got worse and became debilitating.
OMG!—Daddy! I sucked in a rush of panic until I remembered what Pete had said last night about him sleeping till noon. I sure hoped he was right. Not the boys though. It was Saturday, so they would sleep in a little, but not much. Sigh. I looked out the yellowing window. Time for the rooster to crow.
And time to get up and scrounge for some meds. With Pete here, I didn’t want to be so out of it today. I wanted to enjoy every minute, every second I could. But hating to move so much as an inch, I decided I could withstand just one teensy minute more of pain, just so I could indulgently stare at him. So I did, noticing a new smattering of scruff running along his chiseled jaw. I’d never seen that before; it felt like I’d just discovered gold buried beneath my front porch. I longed to rub my fingertips against the grain to test its texture, but I was afraid of waking him—afraid to burst the bubble. Having him here was a dream, one I didn’t want to wake from.
I frowned, wondering again how his meeting went, why he was talking so weirdly last night, how much longer he would be here. Not long. I could feel it, like a change in the atmosphere before a storm. Even though I still had a thousand questions, I would try to temporarily tamp them down so as not to fight. Despite the differences that manifested our separate destinies, I still felt completely drawn to him in a way that was both frightening and natural. But I still couldn’t trust him. No matter how much I wanted to—I still had my doubts.