I can practically hear Anya in my head. “Be quiet and do as you’re told, mal’chik.” And I should have listened to that voice before my response because Renata sends a jolt of electricity through my neck. It goes on for longer this time, my muscles seizing, tightening beyond my control with the sharp pain of the shock burning my neck.
I immediately slump forward to the floor once the electricity finally stops. Luckily, I’m able to catch myself on my hands rather than face plant in front of her feet.
“I think I enjoy the look of you that way,” she says as I balance on all fours, catching my breath. “Crawl to me and kiss my feet. Or disobey me, and I will find a way to destroy that girl. I promise you.”
For her.
Do it for Anya.
Just do what you have to.
I crawl to her, fighting against every cell in my body that compels me to resist. I bend, resentfully placing a kiss on the top of her foot.
“Is that what you call a kiss?” she scoffs. “I’m certain you can do better than that. Wouldn’t you do better than that for Anya?”
“Stop fucking saying her name.” Renata isn’t worthy enough to let a thought about my girl so much as cross her mind, let alone speak her name.
She kicks under my chin with the pointed toe of her bright red stiletto and my teeth slam together. “Shut your disrespectful mouth or I’ll shut it for you.” She wiggles her foot in front of me. “Now, do better.”
Jesus fuck.
I press my lips to the top of Renata’s delicate foot. I squeeze my eyes shut and because I’m thinking of her, my blue-eyed girl’s perfect face steals space from all other conscious thought in my mind. I can see her so clearly when I let myself release all the tension of my fighting instinct.
It’s only Anya behind my closed lids and she tells me to do what I have to for her. She tells me to imagine it’s her that I kneel for and worship with my kiss. With her blue eyes sparkling in my mind, I can do just that.
Sitting back on my heels, I grip Renata’s heel with one hand and slip the other behind her ankle. I cradle her foot as if it belongs to my girl, as if Anya has asked me to revere her this way.
And I would.
I would do it for her if she asked.
If she asked, I would run my tongue from her toes to her ankle, just like this. I would squeeze her in my grip and run my hand up her calf. I would scatter wet kisses over every inch of skin atop her foot. I would nip at her skin with my teeth, then sooth the sharpness with a flick of my tongue.
Just like I do it now.
My hand is just behind her knee when she finally stops me. She snatches my wrist and holds my hand in place. I open my eyes and look up at her and the spell immediately breaks—I meet dark brown eyes instead of vibrant sapphire blue.
But because I was thinking of Anya, I’m panting. Because I was thinking of her, I’m half fucking hard. I don’t want to be. I don’t fucking want to be, but I am, and I hate myself for it.
A memory from soon after my kidnapping—when I first met Anya—dashes across my mind. We were in my room at Mikhailov Manor. Nikolai had his arms wrapped around Anya from behind, his fingers shoved inside her, stroking. She didn’t want it from him, but he took from her anyway.
He always took from her.
But when her eyes met mine, she sparked, igniting into pure need. He stopped before she came, but she was wet, panting, needy when she crumpled to the floor beside me—panting and needy the way I feel now, and it’s the worst fucking thing I’ve ever felt.
I feel sick.
I feel like a bastard.
I feel like I’m cheating on her, even though I know I have no choice.
I feel now what Anya felt when Nikolai abused her. I could only imagine the pain of it before, but now I understand it.
And hell, that woman is strong for surviving it all.
Stronger than me.
Stronger than any other person I’ve ever known.
Renata uncrosses her legs and puts my hand on the inside of her thigh. “I’ve put Anya in Vigo’s bedroom.”
“You did what?”
“She’s staying in Vigo’s bedroom. She slept on the floor last night. That’s how I found her this morning…passed out on the rug. She must have been too traumatized by all the things my brother did to her to sleep in his bed. She wouldn’t even use his bathroom. It’s impossible for me to see what you see in her. I see nothing but a weak little girl.” Her hand slips over my fingers on her thigh, gripping them, drawing my hand up farther. “But if you do me this service, I’ll consider moving her to a new room. Perhaps then she can rest and recover.”
A frustrated groan vibrates through my chest. “You’re cruel.”
If I thought I felt sick before, my gut churns now with the thought that Anya is enduring such torment in Vigo’s room. It makes my heart hurt, as though Renata has reached inside and plucked it from my chest herself. It’s all the worse because I already know I’ll do what she wants to get Anya out of that room.
“You’re interested.” Renata smiles as her gaze flicks down over my crotch.
“I’m not interested in you.”
“But you’ll obey me,” she says with all the confidence in the world—she knows she has me trapped in this.
I nod in response, but it’s so slight I don’t even know if she sees it until she drags my hand a little higher. She lets go and raises an eyebrow at me, a silent command to keep going.
I hate this.
I hate this so much.
My stomach clenches when my fingers slip up her hip and under the hem of her red blouse. My spine prickles with a warning to stop this madness when I reach for the button of her pants. I start shaking as I lower the zipper. And my heart leaps with relief when she shoves my hands away and suddenly stands. I look up at her as she looks down at me and she grins with sick satisfaction spread all over her face.
She reaches down and pats my head with her hand. “Good boy.”
“I fucking hate you,” I seethe.
“I know you do. I like that energy from you, though. Hang onto it.” She crosses her arms. “The collar has sensors. As long as you remain in the house, you’ll hardly notice you’re wearing it before long. There’s a minimal perimeter around the house. You can go as far as the fountain in the front and into the garden out back. If you breach that perimeter, I can assure you that you’ll die. There will be enough electricity in the shock to stop your heart in moments and I will send no one to revive you. Otherwise, you’ll be mostly free to move about as you like. Though you’ll stay far away from Anya if you know what’s good for you.”