Ezra didn’t want to live in New York anymore, not when he knew it would make us easier targets for the four families to track down, especially since we’d both lived there before we were taken. He’d lived in Philadelphia for a while with a foster family growing up and the foster father had a connection with a landlord here. He helped him rent a townhome for a steal, and Ezra created a life for us here.
Well, he created a life for him and Brandon and Lidia here. But he was clear with me before we came back that he wanted it to feel like my home, too.
I think it will just take time.
I climb to my feet and Lidia does the same. “I’m nervous,” I admit as Ezra holds out his hand for me to take.
He grins at me and my heart melts. “Nothing to be nervous about.”
“He won’t know who I am,” I remind him, looking nervously down at the space between us.
Ezra’s fingers tickle beneath my chin with a spark of lightning that makes butterflies flap their wings in my stomach. “He’ll learn who you are. You’re his mom, the one and only.”
My body sways toward him, the light in his eyes drawing me in like a moth to a flame. He releases my chin, catching me in his arms, pulling me closer. He’s the same Ezra he always was, but somehow different. He’s grown as a person, as a man. He’s mature and responsible and so goddamn sexy it hurts.
“I love you,” I tell him, pressing my cheek to his chest as he cradles me, rubbing a hand over my back.
“I love you, too.” He pulls back and smiles. “Come on. I’ve been dreaming about seeing you with him and I can’t wait anymore.”
He takes my hand and pulls me along, leading me upstairs as Lidia shoos us away encouragingly. I realize I’ve completely forgotten about introducing Lidia and Kostya, and I turn my head back around to do it quickly.
Maybe it was stupid for us to let him come back with us. Maybe it makes us easier targets. But I’ve come to see him as my friend, and I couldn’t leave him behind. It would’ve been hard for us to separate after the year we spent bonding in the Oslo factory.
Lidia surprises me with her confidence and maturity as she takes it upon herself to greet him without me. “You must be Kostya, it’s good to meet you.” She holds out her hand for him to shake and my heart thumps an extra beat—I’ve missed so much time with her and she’s grown up so much.
Kostya smiles at her—a rare, happy, hopeful smile—and says hello.
Ezra tugs on my hand, drawing my attention back to him. “Come on,” he says, grinning at me.
His townhouse—our townhouse—is humble, small but reasonably-sized for a family to live in comfortably. It’s cozy and I feel immediately at ease, like I could actually relax and just exist here peacefully. There’s a happy kind of energy in this space, like nothing I’ve ever felt before.
I stop again halfway up the staircase to look at the pictures hung neatly on the sky-blue wall.
Pictures of Brandon…of my son.
My son.
My heart skips a beat and I place my hand over my chest.
“Lidia put those up,” Ezra tells me. “She decorated the nursery, too. Most of the place, really. She said it needed a woman’s touch.”
I give him a smile and squeeze his hand.
Did they seek comfort in each other when I was away, when they didn’t know if I was dead or alive?
I swallow hard at the thought that came from nowhere.
It never even occurred to me to ask if he’d been involved with anyone in the year we were apart, least of all my sister. But realistically, they’ve been living together, raising Brandon together. He and Lidia are as close in age as Ezra and I are to each other.
A lump rises in my throat.
“What is it?” Ezra stops when we reach the landing, turning to face me, noticing my sudden introspection.
“I think I should ask you something, but not right now.”
His eyebrows slant toward his nose. “Okay. Later tonight? After you spend some time with Brandon?”
I nod. I can feel the tension suddenly pulse out from my chest, poisoning the air between us. I don’t like it. I don’t like that this thought popped into my head. I don’t like knowing that it could be true, though I hope it’s not. I can see how my tension bothers him. He forces a half-smile and nods his head toward the end of the hallway before leading me forward.
We walk together to the second door on the left, at the end of the short hallway carpeted with brown shag. The hallway is dark and the door is shut. When we stop in front of it and he glances at me, I know this is the door to Brandon’s nursery.
All conscious thought leaves me in a rush.
My heart stops and stutters, then thuds hard against my ribcage. I grip Ezra’s hand tighter and he squeezes back.
“Ready?” he asks.
Am I?
I can’t speak, so I just nod.
Slowly, he turns the knob. He steps forward as he cracks the door open gradually, blocking my view as he peeks in. I expect that we’ll creep into the room and I’ll see my baby for the first time, asleep in his crib.
But then Ezra speaks, and I feel nauseous. “Hey, bud, why aren’t you sleeping?”
And then follows the sound I know I will treasure more than any other sound heard for the rest of my days…my baby, babbling back at Ezra.
Oh, God.
The sheer joyfulness of the sound is so intense that it sinks inside my gut and my body curls around my stomach. It’s joy that grips me entirely, shooting like a burst of lightning from the pit of my stomach, like a starburst blasting its rays outward to the rest of my body. It forces tears to rise and spill and threatens to drop me to my knees.
But Ezra slips his arm around my waist and pulls me inside the room, shutting the door behind us. He lets me go with a quick rub over the small of my back and I slump against the wall behind me as I blink through the waterfall spilling from my eyes.
I have to concentrate. I have to focus to watch what’s happening as my breath quickens toward hyperventilation. I don’t want to miss a moment of this excruciating joy.
Brandon’s standing in his crib, smiling a toothless grin that sets my world on fire. He reaches his tiny arms into the air, eagerly waiting for Ezra to pluck him from his bed, but he loses his balance when he lets go of the side, falling backward onto his butt. He pulls himself up again with his hands on the rail and his knees bounce with energy.
Ezra reaches for him, grips him beneath the armpits, and lifts him. He pulls Brandon close against his chest and that’s when my knees buckle beneath me.
I fall to kneel on the floor.