“That sounds like good advice from your best friend,” I tell her as I let her go to grab my dish towel. “But, for tonight, how about we get these dry and go sit on the porch for a while, just enjoy the evening. We can talk a bit; and when you feel like it, we’ll get some sleep. I’ll be right by you to keep you safe, and you can follow Tessa’s ‘advice’ some other time. Sound good?”
“That sounds perfect, Roman. You know, I haven’t met many men who are able to handle my ups and downs. You’re good at handling me, you know that?”
“I’m good at lots of things,” I wink at her. “But if it turns out I’m good at handling Charlotte Newsom, well, that might be the one I’m most proud of out of all.”
Chapter Thirteen
Charlotte
* * *
“So, I was able to get time off from the office to stay for the whole month with the promise that I would get as much work done as I can remotely. Oh, and I, ah, was finally able to convince Paul to head back home tonight,” I tell Tessa while we’re sitting in the sunroom, sipping tea in rocking chairs. The place really is peaceful. That could just be the lack of television and electronics, though.
“You were? That’s good,” Tessa says, even though she sounds sad. “That’s good for him,” she amends. “Will you be staying at the beach house alone now?” Tessa asks.
“Oh, um, no, I’m not. I didn’t stay at the beach house last night.”
“Then where did you stay? Did you get a hotel? I hate for you to run up a big bill just to stay close…”
“I’m not spending a dime,” I assure her. “For now, Roman is letting me crash with him since he rents out the beach house by the week and needed us out.”
“Right,” she replies. “And that’s the only reason you’re staying with him?”
“Yep.” I try to quickly sip my tea, but I can feel Tessa staring at me, reading the slight blush on my cheeks.
“Come on, Charlotte! Talk to me. I’m bored, and just because I don’t think I’ll ever let a man touch me again doesn’t mean I don’t want to hear about you and Roman.”
“You don’t mean that, do you? You really don’t want Paul to ever touch you again?”
“I really don’t,” she replies with a sigh. “That’s why I’m cancelling the wedding. He deserves to be with a nice girl, one who wants to be kissed and touched.” She hesitates before asking, “So, how did he take the news?”
“Oh, I, ah, haven’t told him yet.”
“Charlotte!” she exclaims. “He needs to tell everyone!”
“I wanted to make sure you didn’t change your mind before I went and made it official.”
“I’m not going to change my mind. I swear. Please tell the man and cancel what you can to try and save him as much money as possible. I don’t know what will happen with Paul and I down the road, but right now…Charlotte, I can’t do it. I can’t be with him, can’t be touched, can’t be fretted over. I need time, time I won’t have with a wedding…time I won’t have with Paul.”
“Fine. I’ll tell him after I leave today. Him and his brother are packing up their things at the beach house.”
“Tell him to go home and call the wedding off once and for all,” Tessa says. “I still can’t believe you left the beach house to crash with a hot biker. Have you two slept together yet?”
“We have slept in the same bed, but that’s it. Oh, and kissed a little.”
“What’s holding you back? I’m the one who is fucked up in the head about sex now, not you.”
“I know, and I want to,” I tell her. “It’s just…Roman would be my first after Adam, so only the second man I’ve ever been with. I guess maybe I’m afraid that being with Roman will make me forget Adam completely.”
“So you would rather be alone with your old memories than with a sexy man who looks like he has a Ph.D. in giving orgasms and a Masters in the art of cunnilingus?”
“Tessa!” I exclaim.
“What? I may be broken, but I can still appreciate the male species from afar.”
“You are not broken!”
“Charlotte, please. I can’t even stand to look at myself naked in the mirror before a shower. How will I ever let a man see me like that again?”
“Oh, I don’t know, honey, but I hope you’ll find a way. And who knows, maybe you’ll want to see Paul again soon or give him a call…” I trail off.
“No. I don’t want to see him or talk to him,” she replies while looking away, out the glass into the sunny courtyard beyond the window. “I don’t want to talk to him about what happened. I don’t want his pity or see him struggling to try to ‘fix things’. You were there. You saw…saw everything, so we don’t have to discuss it,” she explains. “And maybe it’s mean and callous of me to cut him out of my life, but he’s a good man. He doesn’t deserve this or for me to hurt him, but I can’t face him again. When I think about being with him, it makes me nauseous. Paul doesn’t deserve a wife who gets nauseous at the thought of being with him. This, a clean break, is best for both of us.”
“Fine. I’ll tell him it’s over.”
“Thank you,” Tessa replies. Glancing down at the diamond engagement ring on her finger, she twists it off and holds it out to me. “Give this back to him for me?”
“It’s such a beautiful ring,” I say with a sigh as I take it from her. “I’m sorry you’re not getting your happily ever after in a few weeks, but that doesn’t mean you won’t ever get one.”
“Charlotte, please. Everything changed. I’ve changed, whether I wanted to or not. The future I wanted is gone forever. Now I have to figure out how to survive normal everyday activities like walking past a van or passing a strange man in the grocery store without worrying he’s going to kidnap me.”
“I’m sorry,” I tell her.
“Me too. Tell Paul I’m so sorry.”
“I will,” I agree.
“Anything else you need before I go?” I ask her.
“Yeah. Have you heard…did they catch the…did they catch them yet?”
She wants to know that her kidnappers are locked away. And I wish I could tell her they are, but I can’t.
“The Savage Kings are looking for them. Those guys found you, so I’m confident they will find the men responsible and make them pay.”
“Make them pay?” she repeats.
Lowering my voice, I tell her, “They won’t be dragging them to jail, if you know what I mean.”
“You think…they’ll kill them?” she whispers. I nod, and then wait to see how she feels about that. “Good,” she says with a heavy exhale that sounds like relief. “I want them to die. In fact, I want to kill them myself.”
“You don’t mean that,” I tell her. It’s easy to say the words, even imagine the act, but much more difficult to carry out the actual deed.