“But that’s not even a choice, right?” Tessa says. “Only one of them is alive and head over heels in love with you…”
“It just, it doesn’t feel right. None of this makes any sense!”
“It makes sense to me,” she replies. “Roman cared about you before he even knew you, so much so that he made you feel special at least two times every year. And then these past few weeks, he’s made it obvious to anyone who can see that he would do anything for you. If you walk away from him, I don’t think you’ll ever forgive yourself, Charlotte.”
“I don’t know how to feel about him hiding all this from me…” I try to explain.
“What was he supposed to do?” Tessa demands. “Show up at the memorial and make a scene in front of you and both of your families? When would have been a good time for you, really? I don’t think he ever would have told you if he didn’t care for you so much. You’re letting your life slip by mourning the memory of a man who did deserve your love, and who was your best friend. But while you’ve been hanging onto this idea that Adam was your one and only, forever and ever, the truth is that he was out there loving someone else. He even gave her the child you had wanted to share with him.”
Tessa stops talking when she sees the tears rolling down my face and reaches over to grab the box of Kleenex from the table. “There are still a few left in there,” she says softly, “though I think that’s the hundredth box I’ve used.”
“Thanks,” I manage to snort as I take it from her.
“If Adam had survived, and he had a chance to sit down and explain himself to you, maybe you could make some sense out of his betrayal,” Tessa sighs. “But he didn’t, and we can’t ever know what was going on with him when he…when he did all that. The only thing you can do now is hang on to the good memories of the man you loved, cherish them, and try to forgive him for the rest. But you’ll never find peace unless you move on, Charlotte.”
“Then I guess I know what I have to do,” I say as I dry my eyes and dab at my face. “Thanks, Tessa. Counseling has been really good for you. Maybe I should stay here a while too!” I tell her with a smile.
Chapter Nineteen
Roman
* * *
I’m in such a foul mood after talking to Winston that I shut myself in my office the rest of the morning. I needed to go over the ledgers sent in by all of our business managers anyhow; so, for the next few hours, I dig through our costs, expenses, and revenues to calculate our chapter’s quarterly bonuses. Seeing that we’re solidly in the black, even in the off season, finally begins to put me in a better mood, at least until Leo suddenly barges into my office.
“Goddammit, Leo, knock!” I snarl.
“Oh, yeah, sorry, prez,” he stammers. “Just thought you’d want to know that Charlotte lady just pulled into the parking lot. Winston told me to get you if she called the clubhouse or anything.”
“Thanks, Leo,” I sigh. “Show her in for me. Just knock from now on, okay?”
“Sure, sure,” Leo says dismissively. “I’ll remember. Well, probably, you know I get excited…”
“Go get Charlotte,” I interrupt him.
“Yes, sir!” Leo says as he quickly backs out the door. Only a few seconds later, Charlotte appears in the entryway.
“Hey! I thought you would be halfway to Raleigh by now,” I say to her.
“Tessa isn’t ready to go home yet. That’s why I’m here actually,” she explains. “Would you be willing to help her stay at the facility another month? I can help with the payment…” she trails off as I walk past her and close the door to my office so we can talk in private.
“Of course I can. You don’t need to pay a penny, baby,” I tell her.
“Thanks.”
“No problem,” I reply. “What about you? Are you staying in town too?”
“Yeah, I guess I am,” she answers with a nod.
“With me?” I ask, so glad she’s staying that I risk a smile at her.
“No,” Charlotte replies, which is a ballbuster.
“So, where are you going to stay?” I ask as my grin fades, remembering what Winston said about giving her time.
“Maybe in a hotel until I can find an apartment. I’m starting to think Tessa may be here for a while…”
“Do you need me to help you look for one? I know people.”
“That’s okay. I’ll figure something out, but thanks for offering. I need some time alone.”
“Sure, yeah. I get it.”
“So, when will we be able to go see the woman my husband had an affair with and knocked up?” she asks.
“Tomorrow hopefully. I’m waiting for Meredith to call me back.”
“Oh,” she says. “Do you talk to her often?”
“I do, yeah,” I admit. “She’s a single mother with no family around to help out.”
“So you help her out?”
“I do.”
“Oh my god,” Charlotte mutters.
“What?”
“Did you sleep with her too?”
“Huh? Why are you…what…why would you ask me that?”
“Did you sleep with Meredith, Roman?”
Fuck. I consider lying for a second, but Charlotte deserves the full truth. Besides, it was barely even a thing.
“Just once,” I admit. “Well, one night,” I explain with a cringe.
“I knew it!” Charlotte exclaims indignantly. “You…you…”
“I didn’t mean for it to happen!” I tell her. “I was just down there visiting for Aiden’s first birthday. After her friends from work left, I stayed to help Meredith clean up afterwards. It was late, so she told me I could spend the night. I didn’t know she was asking me to spend the night with her until, well, you know…”
“You’re telling me that you fell into bed with her because of a misunderstanding?” Charlotte scoffs.
“You can’t be mad at me for sleeping with a woman years before I even met you!” I exclaim.
“Sure I can!” she yells back. “Apparently this is what you do! I’m just a project for you like she is! So you ride in on your white horse, or more accurately, your black Harley, to help out widows and single mothers, and then you sleep with them because you have a hero complex a mile wide!”
“I’m not married to anyone, am I? I’m free to fuck whoever I want. Besides, Charlotte, you’re one to talk,” I mutter. “You won’t take off your fucking wedding band or fuck me in the bed we sleep in because it’s too ‘intimate’!”
She stares at me with heat filling her eyes, and I know I went too far, but dammit, I’ve been patient long enough.
“You know what, Roman? Just give me this woman’s address. I can go see her on my own.”
“No,” I grit out.
“Yes!”
“No! I’m going with you.”
“Why? Because you’re scared of what she might say about you? Do you send her flowers on Valentine’s? Do her and Adam have an anniversary you never miss?”